To David Bateson (or whoever over there's in charge of this)...

     Included is my first fanfic, "Triad."  Please take note that I have no
idea if I'm supposed to do anything special to the text or if I should do
anything outside of what I've done to it, or if there's any procedure or
whatever to submitting this.  Also, if you decide not to post, please let
me know with any suggestions as to where I can send it if you have any.

									Danke Scho"n,
									Jen Sabado


"Triad"
By Jen Sabado
Liz.Sabado@worldnet.att.net	
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------Author's note:
	All characters in this story are the creation and property of Rumiko
Takahashi, except for Gel, who is mine, and possibly Guy, who's something
of a gray area.  Special thanks to whoever it was who first came up with
the Spring of Drowned Twins bit, whether it was somebody's fanfic or
actually showed up in the manga, I wouldn't know 'cause the only place that
sells them around here's always sold out anyway.
	Enjoy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------

	How had he gotten himself into this mess, anyway?
	Ranma dodged one of Mousse's spiked chains, grabbing it as it whipped past
and using it to slam him into a tree.  Ryoga charged, and Ranma leapfrogged
over his swinging punch onto his shoulders, pushed off with a kick that
sent the eternal lost boy sprawling onto where Mousse lay groaning, and
lashed out with a foot, intending to kick Kuno into next Wednesday.  
	Surprisingly, the kendoist managed to dodge the blow and just barely catch
Ranma with a blow from his bokken. He landed, his side afire, but leapt up
as soon as he touched ground just moments before Kuno's bokken slashed into
the pavement where he had been.  A quick kick off a tree, and Ranma slammed
into Kuno before he could raise his sword again, sending him flying onto
the slowly recovering Ryoga.
	Ranma dropped back down onto the pavement.  His side still hurt; Kuno was
slow, but that sword of his packed one heck of a punch.  Still, he'd won.  
	"No thanks to you jerks," Ranma muttered, glaring at Ryoga, Kuno, and
Mousse, all of whom still lay in a semiconscious pile.  "What is wrong with
you 
people, anyway?  Don't you ever give up?"
	Now, how had he gotten into this, anyway?  Oh, right.  Kuno had challenged
him as he and Akane were leaving school, nothing new there; Akane had
continued on home without even blinking.  Somewhere in the middle of things
Ryoga had wandered into the scene and declared that he was going to kill
Ranma and not Kuno, and Ranma's suggestion that he take a number only
seemed to have made him madder. Then Mousse had gotten involved when the
fight drifted past the Nekohanten.  The duel had broken down into the usual
free-for-all, and here they were.
	A commotion over where he had left his attackers made Ranma look up. 
Ryoga, the toughest of the three, had gotten his second wind and was trying
to struggle to his feet.  The fact that Kuno was still unconscious and on
top of him, and that he had gotten one of Mousse's chains (Where does he
put them all, Ranma thought) tangled around his ankle was not helping.
	"Ryoga, give it up.  It's over," sighed Ranma.
	"Never!" Ryoga snarled back, redoubling his efforts.  He glared at Kuno. 
"Get off me, you oaf!"
	"You will refer to me as upperclassmannnngh....." Kuno retorted, weakly.
	Ranma crouched down next to them with his chin in his palm.  "Give up. 
You couldn't beat me with those other two lunkheads backing you up; what
makes you think you can do it by yourself?"
	"I can fight for myself!"
	"Right, P-Chan.  Like you did the last time we fought; and the time before
that, and the time before that..."
	"DON'T CALL ME P-CHAN!" Ryoga roared, lunging at Ranma.  He still had
Mousse's chain looped around his leg, though.  Ranma bounced out of Ryoga's
reach as he was tripped up and fell heavily on Mousse, who let out a groan
of complaint but otherwise didn't respond.  
	Ranma's laughter at the entangled Ryoga was cut short by the sensation
that something wasn't right.  He looked up over his shoulder just in time
to see a splash of water heading in his direction.
	"Yeow!" he yelped, leaping just clear of the incoming water.  Ryoga,
Mousse, and Kuno weren't so lucky, getting the full brunt of the blast. 
Ranma landed on a nearby wall, looking around him quickly to see where the
attack had come from.
A quiet curse and a rustle in the leaves alerted him to the intruder's
presence, but the black-suited figure got away faster than he could keep up
with his sore side.  
	"Great.  Hit by Kuno, lost...whoever that was; this day just keeps getting
better and better," Ranma said to no one in particular.  Then he stopped. 
That water had hit Ryoga and Mousse; while Mousse might be too out of it to
be making any noise, shouldn't Ryoga be squealing death threats at him in
pig by now?
	Ranma glanced back to where the soaking trio should have been, but lying
where they had been was a boy he had never seen before.  Curious, Ranma
dropped down beside the prone body, glancing quickly around him to see if
he could figure out where the others had gotten themselves to so quickly
before turning his attention back to the stranger.
	The boy was tall, dressed in loose, light-blue robes that reminded Ranma
of Mousse's, although the color was wrong and the leggings were bound the
way Ryoga tied his pants.  His hair was black with highlights of deep
brown, and fairly short, except for two long locks of hair that hung down
from in front of his ears to his shoulders.  The face looked vaguely
familiar, although Ranma couldn't place it; and why on earth was he wearing
Ryoga's bandanna, with Mousse's glasses pushed up onto his forehead and
Kuno's bokken in his hand?
	Wait a minute...
	Ranma had spent a lot of time around people who turned into anything from
cats to pigs to priests when splashed with water, so he had a feeling he
knew what was going on.  A bad feeling.  With a sigh of, "Oh, yeah.  Just
keeps getting better and better," he grabbed the unconscious boy by the
robe and started dragging him off towards the Tendo Dojo.
	 

	The boy lay in the living room with a wet towel on his head.  Kasumi
tended after him worriedly, while Genma (in panda form) held up a sign
asking Who is this, anyway?
	"I have an idea," Ranma answered, "but I won't be sure until he wakes up."
	"Oh my," Kasumi sighed, as the stranger shifted in his sleep.  "What
happened?  Did you two get into a fight?"
	"Nah, I got into a fight with Kuno, Ryoga, and Mousse.  I dunno, maybe
it's 'Gang up on Saotome Day' and nobody bothered to tell me."
	"Ryoga and Mousse, too?  I thought you were just fighting Kuno," Akane
said.
	"I was.  The other two showed up after you, with your infinite concern,
left."
	"What's that supposed to mean?  You get in a fight almost every day,
Ranma!"
	"So?  So did you, as I recall when I first came here.  Although why every
boy in the school would be fighting for an uncute tomboy like you is beyond
me."
	"Ooh," Akane growled, pulling a mallet from wherever it was she found
those things.  She leapt to her feet, about to slam him into the koi pond,
when a groan made her pause and look down.
	The boy's eyes fluttered open, soft brown with a speckling of blue.  He
focused blearily on the Tendoes and the panda, all of whom leaned over him.
 
	Then he looked at Ranma.
	"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!" he roared, leaping to his feet before
anyone could react and sending a fistful of bandannas flying at Ranma
Ryoga-style.  When Ranma jumped out of the way, intending to dodge, the boy
sent a scythe-tipped chain flying at him to catch him around the ankle and
whip-cracked him into the pond. 
	The boy raced over to the pond's edge, bokken poised for attack, waiting
for Ranma to surface.  When he - or she, rather, did, she saw the swing
coming and tried to scramble out of the way.  But the attack halted as
suddenly as it had begun, the sword only inches from Ranma-chan's face. 
She looked up into the boy's face, recognized the look, and resumed her
desperate attempt to escape.
	"Pig-tailed one!" the boy exclaimed, hugging her nauseatingly close.  Then
he paused.  Three things were going through his mind at once; he was
delighted to find his pig-tailed girl here, but for some reason he couldn't
get over the thought that it was disgusting how Ranma would use seduction
on both men and women, and somewhere in the back of his mind he was having
hysterics and he couldn't figure out why.  
	Ranma-chan watched the expressions this translated to run across the boy's
face, and took advantage of the distraction to wriggle out of his
bone-crushing grip.  "Must be remembering the time I pulled this stunt on
Ryoga," she muttered  to herself as she went into the kitchen for a
hot-water kettle.
	When Ranma came back out, the boy was seated on the back porch with a
puzzled look still on his face, staring at nothing.  Everyone else was
staring at him.
	"What?" he asked, looking from one to the other.
	Akane glared at him.  "All right, what's going on?  You know more than
you're letting on."
	"It's easier if I show you," he said, and aimed a splash from the kettle
at the boy.  He, however, had jumped clear and was now plastered against
the wall in terror.
	"What's the matter with you?  Hold still!" Ranma snapped, trying again.
The boy dodged behind Genma, who turned human as the hot water doused him,
and then ducked behind Soun who merely got wet.  Ranma used up the last of
the water before he could get to him.  Unfortunately, the last of the water
had been used up on Akane, who was fuming.
	"Hey, it was an accident..." he stammered, dropping the empty kettle as he
backed towards the door.  Akane malleted him into the floor anyway.
	Nabiki wandered over to the Ranma-shaped dent in the floor.  "What were
you trying to do, anyway?  Somehow I think ingratiating yourself to Akane
is out of the question."
	"I was trying to change him back to normal," Ranma retorted, pointing at
the boy, who only blinked back at him in confusion.  
	"Another Jusenkyo victim?" Genma asked, looking at the strangely familiar
stranger.
	"Kind of.  I think whoever it was that got him was trying to get me, but
hit Ryoga, Kuno, and Mousse instead."
	"So which one is he?" Akane asked.
	"All of them, near as I can figure.  Didn't you hear the voice?"  When
everyone looked at him as if he was crazy, he turned to the boy.  "Hey,
you.  Say something."
	"What?" 
	"Anything, stupid!"
	"Who are you calling stupid?" he growled, balling his fists.  Ranma
ignored him and looked triumphantly back at everybody else.  
	"See what I mean?"
	They were all staring blankly at the boy.  Ranma was right; the voice
sounded like nothing so much as Kuno, Ryoga, and Mousse, all speaking in
unison.  It was kind of creepy, actually.
	The boy glared at Ranma, and then started heading out into the darkening
evening.  
	"Hey, where'ya going?" Ranma called after him.
	"Home," he answered, tersely.
	"Which one?"
	He had just gotten to the gate, and now stopped.  He looked first in the
direction of the Nekohanten, and then in the direction of the Kuno mansion;
then back again, and back at Ranma.
	"Um..."
	"Oh, for crying out loud," sighed Ranma.  "You'll probably get lost
anyway, if you've got Ryoga's sense of direction."
	"Why doesn't he stay here?" Kasumi suggested, cheerfully.  She walked over
to him and took his arm, pulling the boy back towards the house.
	"Kasumi!" Akane and Ranma protested, together.
	"We can't just leave him alone, Ranma.  It's common hospitality," Kasumi
said firmly, seating him by the table.  
	"This is your fault," Akane pointedly told Ranma.
	"My fault?  How is this my fault?  I didn't splash him!"
	"You said whoever did was aiming at you!"
	"I said I thought he was.  He could have been aiming at Kuno for all I
know and - wait a minute, I don't have to explain myself to an uncute
tomboy like you!"
	"Who are you calling UNCUTE!?" Akane screamed, whipping out a HUGE mallet.
 Ranma took off down the hall with Akane racing after him in pursuit.
	"They're so energetic, aren't they?" Kasumi said cheerfully, handing the
boy a cup of hot tea.  


	Ranma and Genma were in the middle of their usual midmorning exercises,
while Kuno/Ryoga/Mousse watched, interested.  He didn't even notice as
Kasumi brushed past him, ruffling his hair in a maternal manner, or hear
Nabiki's snide comment about getting a kid of her own before she started
spoon-feeding the lot of them.
	"I am not getting sloppy!" Ranma protested at his father.
	Genma gave a swift kick to the spot where Kuno had hit him with his bokken
the day before, and watched as his son doubled up in pain.  "If you can't
even handle Kuno, what makes you think you'll ever make it as a real
martial artist?" he taunted.
	"What'd you do THAT for?" Ranma snarled back, grabbing an aluminum
washbasin that had been lying nearby and using it to clock Genma into the
pond.  He came up to the water's edge and added, "Besides, it was three to
one.  Someone was bound to get a lucky shot in somewhere."
	The boy tensed.  He'd show him a lucky shot...
	Ranma looked up when he felt a light tap on his shoulder.  "Hey, guy. 
What's up?"
	Kasumi paused as she wandered into the living room with the morning's
breakfast.  "Guy?  Is that his name?"
	The boy shrugged.  "Good as any.  Anyway, I wanted to know if you wanted
to try training with me."
	They both looked over as Genma, in panda form, climbed out of the pond. 
He held up a sign saying Sloppy! at Ranma, sticking his tongue out at him,
and then took off as the washbasin was pitched at him.
	"Gee, that's real mature, Pop," Ranma told him, and then looked back at
Guy.  "Sure, why not?  Pop's probably going to be out of it for a little
while anyway."
	"Don't be too long!" Kasumi called to them.  "Your breakfast will get
cold!"
	Ranma nodded, and then he and Guy took up positions at opposite sides of
the pond, each dropping into a defensive stance in preparation to attack. 
Things started innocently enough.  Ranma was rather surprised to find that
Guy was better than he had expected, considering how easily he'd beaten
Kuno, Mousse, and Ryoga in the past.  And at first Guy just matched him,
blow for blow.  But then he'd started attacking faster and harder - he must
have been pulling his punches before - and Ranma suddenly found himself
hard pressed just to keep up.  
	"It's impossible!" Ranma thought to himself.  "Is he...better than me?"  
	In a desperate attempt he tried his Chestnut-Fist, but Guy blocked the
blows with his bokken with a speed he never expected, and managed to get a
few through Ranma's defenses himself.  Ranma was wearing down quickly under
the assault, but whenever he managed to get a hit in, Guy barely reacted.  
	"Great," Ranma gasped as they pulled apart for a second, "he's as
thick-headed as Ryoga, and a better fighter than that blockhead ever was. 
I gotta think of something fast."
	Guy started to charge with his claw-tipped chain at the ready when a
familiar voice broke in.  "Ranma!  What are you doing!?"
	"Akane!  Get out of the way!" Ranma shouted, trying to wave Akane back
before she got hurt.  She turned just in time to see the chain headed
straight for her, and screamed.
	"Akane!" Guy yelped, pulling his chain up short just inches from her
shaking face.  With a sigh of relief, he started tucking it back in his
robes.
	Ranma walked over to where Akane was still shivering.  "What'd you go and
do a dumb thing like that for, anyway?  You could have been killed!"
	Akane smacked him, with her hand for once instead of with a mallet.  "What
are you doing fighting with him?  He's supposed to be a guest!"
	"Fighting with - he asked to train with me!  And it wasn't my idea to get
this serious."
	Nabiki wandered out into the backyard as they continued to argue to survey
the carnage.  "Hmm.  Looks like this boy does more damage than the sum of
his parts," she said to herself, and began scribbling something down on a
notepad as Guy watched in bewilderment.
	"Nobody asked you to step in anyway, tomboy!"
	"Who are you calling a tomboy?"
	"I - erk!"  Ranma's retort was cut short as Guy brained him with his
bokken.  
	"Don't talk to Akane that way," he said absently, as Nabiki stepped up to
him and handed him a slip of paper.  She also put one into Ranma's
nerveless hands.
"What's this?"
	"Your debt," Nabiki told him, simply.
	"But I don't owe you a..."
	"No, you owe me for two, Ryoga's and Mousse's.  All of which I intend to
collect if another fight like this breaks out.  That goes for you too,
Ranma," she added, as he came to.
	"What's this for?" he asked, muzzily.
	"Look around.  It's hard enough keeping this house insured with all the
strange goings-on that have become normal routine around here, without
having to repair this type of damage all the time too.  So either play nice
or take it outside, or I'm coming to collect.  Got it?"
	"Got it," they said, resignedly.  
	"Good."  She went back into the house, and Ranma and Akane followed her,
arguing all the way.  Guy sat down by the edge of the pool and looked
thoughtfully into the water.
	I almost beat him, he thought.  After all those times he pounded me - er,
us - into the pavement, after all the training that was never good
enough...I finally came close to winning.  I can beat him! 
	He paused, and looked at the numbers written on the slip of paper.  Ouch.
	...later, he amended, getting up and going in for breakfast.
	They were halfway through the meal when a familiar sound came from out
front.
	CRASH
	RING RING
	"Nihao, Ranma!"
	Ranma tried to get out of the way before Shampoo could glomp onto him, but
needless to say, he failed.
	"Today Saturday, Ranma no have to go to school.  Take Shampoo on date
instead?" she chirped, wrapping herself around the squirming Ranma.  Before
he could answer a bucket full of cold water - and an instant later, the
bucket - slammed into his face.  Shampoo glared at the person who threw it.
	"What you do that for?" she asked, angrily.  Then she paused, a look of
recognition seeping over her face.  "Mousse?  That you?"
	With a shout of "Oh Shampoo!", Guy pulled her into a bear hug as she
walked over to get a closer look at his face.  Too confused to knock him
senseless before he could get a hand on her or to even try and escape his
embrace, she looked over at Ranma-chan instead, who had sat up by now and
was rubbing her head.
	"Ranma?  What happen to Mousse?"   She glanced at Guy, who was starting to
spout Kunoesque poetry along the lines of how the stars themselves would
weep at such beauty, and then back at Ranma-chan.  "Is Mousse, right?"
	"Partly," Ranma-chan said, and then tried to explain.  Once she'd gotten
to the part that yes, this was Mousse, Shampoo pounded him over the head
with her bonbori.
	"Stupid Mousse!  Shampoo worry about you!  Why you no come home?"
	The bonbori on his head cracked (much to Shampoo's surprise), but he paid
it no heed.  "Really?  You were worried about me?"
	"Shampoo, that isn't Mousse," Ranma-chan sighed, annoyed that her
explanation had been interrupted.
	"You just say is Mousse!" Shampoo retorted in frustration.
	"I said he was Mousse, and Ryoga, and Kuno.  We think it was Jusenkyo
water, but we don't know what the spring it came from was yet."
	Shampoo looked at Guy with an expression of dawning comprehension on her
face, and then slammed him in the face with her other bonbori and leapt out
of his grasp.  She shuddered when she landed next to Ranma-chan.
	"Is too weird," she declared.  "Why you no change them back?"
	"We've tried.  For some reason, he's petrified of hot water."
	"Don't worry, Master Kuno!" Sasuke, who had been looking for Kuno ever
since he hadn't come home (partly out of a sense of duty, and partly just
to get away from Kodachi, who was worse), dropped down from the rafters
where he had been eavesdropping.  He held up a thermos of tea he'd
originally packed for himself.  "I'll help you!"
	"Gah!" Guy yelled, leaping to his feet as the hot tea splashed onto the
floor where he'd been an instant ago.  He started to scramble for the
backyard, but shouldn't have bothered; Sasuke lost his footing as he tried
to follow and fell onto Ranma.
	"See what I mean about the hot water?" Ranma-kun sighed, as he pulled the
now-empty thermos off his lap.  
	Shampoo had watched all this with interest.  "Like full-body cat tongue,
almost," she said. 
	"Hey - you're right!  If that old ghoul could do that to me, maybe she
could get rid of Guy's phobia long enough for us to soak him.  Come on,
let's go!"  Ranma grabbed both Shampoo and Guy by an arm and raced out the
door, with Akane hurrying to keep up.


	"Why you come, Akane?"
	"I'm worried about Ryoga, that's why."
	"Hey - where is Bacon Boy, anyway?"
	WHAM
	"Why are you always picking on Ryoga?"
	"Well, right now it's because Guy inherited his sense of direction and we
have to go and find him," Ranma retorted, looking at their surroundings. 
They were walking along the canal, so there were only three ways he could
have gone - wait a minute.  Wasn't that Guy, up that alley?
	"Hey, stupid!" Ranma called, running after the shadowy figure.  "We're
over here!"
	Whoever it was only started to run the other way, dodging down alleyways
and finally disappearing over the fence to a vacant lot.  When Ranma and
the others jumped the fence as well, they were suddenly bombarded from
above by some sort of powder packets.
	"Wha..." Ranma managed to get out, and then he knew no more.


	The first thing Ranma became aware of was a splitting headache. The next
were the chains binding his arms to his side and him back-to-back with a
still unconscious Guy.  He tried breaking them, but he wasn't strong enough
to simply pull them apart with brute force like Ryoga might.  He'd have to
wait for Guy to wake up for that.
	Helpless, he lifted his pounding head to look at his surroundings.  From
the look of things they were in one of the condemned buildings downtown,
that they had been planning to take down, but had never quite gotten around
to (that's bureaucracy for you, thought Ranma).  Boards covered windows and
cracks in the walls, only allowing a few shafts of light to trickle down to
complement the faint light from an overhead lamp in one corner.  In the
small pool of illumination under the lamp someone had hastily scraped
together what looked to Ranma like a chemistry setup.
	Ranma was puzzling over this when someone spoke up.  "Good morning!" he
chirped, with a cheerfulness that would have made anyone ill before eleven
in the morning and perhaps after.
	"Wha?  Who's there?" 
	Someone walked out from the shadows behind the lab bench.  
	"Hey...you're the guy tha' soaked Kuno an' the others," Ranma said, fuzzy
recognition dawning.
	"Uh-huh!" he answered brightly, turning to pick up a small beaker of
liquid.  The clothes Ranma had at first thought were black were actually a
deep blue, and styled like Mousse's Chinese robes.  The boy himself,
possibly sixteen, was tall and lanky, with dark hair pulled back into a
ponytail and a sharp but smiling face. 
He turned back to Ranma.  "I'm Shampoo's cousin, Gel."
	"Oh, God, not another Amazon...let me guess.  You either want me to marry
Shampoo or you want to fight me for Shampoo."
	"Fight you?  Don't be silly - she's my cousin!"  Gel stirred the beaker,
held it up to the light, and started adding some sort of powder to it. 
"But you are going to marry Shampoo.  She deserves the best, and from what
I've seen, that seems to be you."
	Ranma grimaced.  Hoo boy...."Forget it, pal.  I ain't marrying nobody. 
Trust me, the old ghoul's tried plenty of times already."
	"You mean Cologne?  Oh, I know about that!  I've been watching you for a
while, you see.  All of you."
	"That's comforting."
	"Anyway, she didn't get the job done because she didn't go far enough. 
But that's quite all right; I don't mind doing things myself, and I'm quite
good at it, actually."  He crouched down beside Ranma, and showed him the
beaker.  "See this?  Betcha can't guess what it is!"
	Ranma glanced at the beaker, and then back at Gel.  This was getting
creepy.  
"Some weird Chinese mind-altering potion?"
	"Guess again!"
	"Uh...water from a Jusenkyo spring?"
	"Righty-o!  But water I've modified to my own design.  See, this was from
the Spring of Drowned Twins, which will split one person into two when wet.
 I just reversed the curse so that it makes two or more people into one."
	"That's nice.  How's that supposed to make me want to marry Shampoo?"
	Gel stood up, and went over to the still-unconscious Guy.  "Mousse has
always loved Shampoo, and would still be willing to die for her if she
asked.  I thought about trying to get the two of them together, but Mousse
would never have been strong enough or good enough to defeat Shampoo, and
that's the only way it would have worked.  And like I said, Shampoo
deserves the best - which is you.  Shampoo's very attached to you, and you
can beat her in combat.  So, I thought: what if I could somehow give
Shampoo exactly what she wanted, someone with Mousse's utter devotion and
your obvious skills?  I'd seen people come back from the Jusenkyo training
grounds as almost anything, so I thought that if I could only find a spring
that was even close to what I needed, I could get to work.  And that's how
I came up with this!  You'd be amazed at what you can do with a few Chinese
herbs."
	"If all you wanted was me and Mousse, what'd you go and splash the others
for?"
	"I had to be sure that you two at least got soaked.  The curse will
combine any people who have been touched by the water and who are standing
close together when they get wet, so even if I missed I could do a bit of
recombinating with some hot and cold water to get the same result.  It
won't be easy getting them to hold still for the hot water - I needed to
make this curse as permanent as possible, so I added a phobia of hot water
- but it can be done.  Neat idea, huh?"
	"Rrrrr...."
	Gel turned to look at Guy, who had regained enough consciousness to glare
at him.  "I should have known it was you."
	"Hiya, Mousse!"
	"Guy."
	"Whatever.  Listen, sorry about Kuno and Ryoga, I'll fix that later.  But
really, Mousse - you don't have to worry!  This is all for your own good."
	"How!" Ranma interjected.  He cocked his head at Guy.  "The blockhead
can't even think straight unless he's trying to kill me, which was the only
thing Kuno, Ryoga, and Mousse ever agreed on.  You think adding someone
else is gonna help?"
	"Oh, it'll just be you and Mousse when I'm done.  And if you need to be
convinced, I have enough ingredients for two more people.  You like Akane,
don't you?  I mean, you have feelings for her, right?"
	"That tomboy?  I..." Ranma paused, a look of realization creeping across
his face.  "You wouldn't dare!"
	Guy started to struggle as well.  "Don't you touch Akane!  I won't allow
it!"
	"Don't worry, it's only as a last resort.  In the meantime, though, I'd
better see if I can finish up your batch."  Gel stood back up and got to
work at his setup.
	Ranma leaned closer to the still-fuming Guy.  "Do you know him?" he
whispered.
	"Yeah.  I - or Mousse, actually - knew him when we were kids.  He and
Shampoo were fairly close, and I think he would have challenged her for her
hand if they hadn't been related."
	"What about you?"
	"I avoided him.  He always gave me the creeps."
	Ranma thought about Gel's perennial, vapid grin, and shuddered.  "Me too."

	"He was always kind of a skinny kid, as I recall.  No one thought much of
him since it was obvious he couldn't fight.  He was very interested in
cooking and Chinese herbs, though."
	"Yeah.  So I guessed."  Ranma quickly filled him in on what he'd missed
while he'd been unconscious.
	There was a pause.  Then: "Ranma?"
	"Hm?"
	"We've got to do something."
	"Brilliant, Holmes.  What're you going to do?  I can't get loose."
	Ranma could feel Guy struggle in an attempt to get free, but after a few
minutes he stopped and sighed. "Neither can I, it's too tight.  I can't get
my hands free to pull the chain apart."
	"There!  Finished!"  Gel walked over two the two of them with the beaker
of cursed water.  "Now - hold still, this won't hurt a bit.  Promise."
	Ranma and Guy tried to get up, to squirm out from under the beaker -
anything to get away from the water - but to no avail.  The beaker
tipped...
	...and shattered in Gel's hand.
	"Yeow!" Ranma yelped, twisting his legs out of the path of falling water
and glass.  A tiny throwing spatula embedded itself in the rotting
floorboards behind Gel.
	"All right, pal.  I don't know what's going on or what you're trying to do
to Ranchan, but get away from him.  Now."
	"I don't think so," Gel sing-songed, grabbing a pouch Ranma recognized as
being one of the ones that had knocked him out earlier.
	"Ucchan!  Look out!" he yelled, but Ukyo saw the pouch coming and swatted
it out of the air with her battle spatula.  Gel's normal smile faded to be
replaced by a look of desperation (cheerful desperation, perhaps, but
desperation nonetheless), until his eye fell on a half-full bucket of
water.  He grabbed it, grinning.
	"The Spring of Drowned Twins wasn't the only one I experimented with," he
told her, his normal perkiness sounding strained.  "Have some of my special
Spring of Drowned Deer!"
	Ukyo couldn't get out of the way fast enough.  The water sloshed over her
as Gel crowed in victory - then stopped, and blinked.  He looked down at
the now-empty bucket.  
	"Hmm.  Must have put a bit too much (some truly unintelligible Chinese
herb) in, I suppose I should have tried the...no, that would only have made
her change in hot water..."
	Ukyo still stood frozen where she had been, spatula in hand, a look of
confusion on her face.  She looked down.
	Guy squirmed behind Ranma.  "What's going on?  I can't see.  Turn around."
	"Well...ever read Greek mythology?"
	"Why?"
	Ukyo looked up, then back down at herself, and then at the still-puzzled
Gel.  Her expression suddenly twisted up into one of rage.
	"DIE!" she roared, pounding the Amazon into the floorboards with the
battle spatula.
	"What going on here?  Who - aiyah!  What happen to Spatula Girl?"  Shampoo
had come out of the same door Ukyo had, followed by Akane, both looking
rather the worse for wear.  They stopped when they saw Ukyo.
	"Oh, I dunno.  I think she looks kind of cute this way," Ranma said,
tilting his head to get a better look.  One of Akane's omnipresent mallets
bounced off his face, and Ukyo herself hefted her spatula menacingly.
	"I'm warning you, Ranchan...now is not the time to -"
	"Hello?  Could somebody untie us?"  Guy struggled in his bonds.  "Please?"
	Ukyo came over and cut the chain.  Guy got up and started to stammer a
relieved apology, but it trailed off when he got a good look at her.  He
could see what Ranma had meant when he mentioned Greek mythology.  Ukyo had
been changed into a deer from the waist down, so that she resembled a
small, brown centaur.  Her dappled fur was even the same shade of brown as
her hair, a nice touch, he thought.
	He must have been staring at her (although he hadn't meant to), because
Ukyo bashed him over the head with her spatula.  "All right already, you
jackass!  You don't have to rub it in!"
	"Sorry."
	Ukyo looked at him strangely.  "Hey...don't I know you?  And how'd you get
your hands on Ryoga's bandanna?"
	Ranma sighed.  "I can't go through this again!"
	Akane explained things to Ukyo, to keep her mind off her new cursed form,
while Ranma, Guy, and Shampoo searched through the room Gel had used for a
storage closet.  Gel was very methodical, explained Guy, and always wrote
down his formulas and experiments.  They might be able to find a cure for
Guy in Gel's notes, and maybe they'd find some Spring of Drowned Girl water
for Ukyo.  He seemed to have almost everything else; there was Spring of
Drowned Panda, Spring of Drowned Duck, Spring of Drowned Tiger, and some
unaltered Spring of Drowned Deer, all carefully labeled in Gel's neat hand.
 One was even labeled Spring of Drowned Man, but to Ranma's disappointment,
all it contained was a note Gel wrote to remind himself to pick up more the
next time he was in China.
	After about half an hour's search, they came back out.  Ukyo and Akane
looked up.
	"So, did you find everything?" Akane asked.  Ranma shook his head.
	"Not everything, but here."  He handed her a bottle labeled Spring of
Drowned Girl.  "That should change Ucchan back to normal."
	The water was poured over her head, and a restored Ukyo sighed.  "I'm glad
that's over with.  What do we do with him?"  She nodded towards Gel.
	"I think we should take him back to the Nekohanten and let Cologne deal
with him.  I don't think you can get arrested for this sort of thing in
Nerima, or else the jails would be brimming over with just about every
martial artist within five miles," Guy said, prodding the prone figure with
a foot.
	"Fine with me," Ranma said.  "That old ghoul by herself ought to be
punishment enough."

	
	"Well, now.  How did Gel get here?  I thought he was still in China." 
	"How am I supposed to know?  All I know is he's been here a while," Ranma
growled, irritated.  He didn't like Cologne.
	"Not much of a fighter, but an accomplished spy and herbalist, eh
Son-in-Law?  And here I always thought Gel would never amount to anything."
 Cologne looked the still-unconscious Gel over, and then hopped back down
from the table they'd placed him on.  "But you're right, he can't stay
here.  I'll see about getting him a plane ticket back to China."
	"You think that stop him coming back, Great-Grandmother?"
	"Not really, Child.  But perhaps an opportunity for him to take up an
apprenticeship under the apothecarist Balm will.  I'll make arrangements
for that as well."
	"Oh, great.  So he comes back better than ever at what he does and still
just as psychotic," Ranma snorted.
	"I don't know about that.  If there's anyone to whip some discipline into
the boy, it'll be Balm, trust me.  Now, if you'll excuse me..." she hopped
into the kitchen on her pole.
	Alone, the four that were still upright settled tiredly down into the
empty chairs.  "Hey, Ucchan," Ranma said, remembering something.  "How'd
you find us, anyway?"
	"Oh, that.  I was out on my lunch break when I heard you guys yelling a
little ways off, so I went to see what was going on.  I got there just as
Gel was dragging you into the abandoned building.  I held back, not wanting
to be seen, and planned to sneak in after he had gone inside."
	"So what took you so long?"
	"The jackass locked the door behind him, and I didn't want to just break
the door down since I didn't know what he had planned for you.  So I had to
find an opening large enough for me to sneak in, and then I had to figure
out where you were.  From the look of things, I got there just in time."
	"Yeah.  That would have been a lot closer to Kuno, Ryoga, or Mousse than
I'd ever want to be, and there isn't even a cure."
	WHAM
	"What'd you do that...oh," Ranma said, looking over to where Akane was
pointing with her free hand.  Guy sat in his chair, shoulders slumped,
looking depressed.
	"Geez, I'm sorry, man," Ranma apologized, in a subdued voice.  "I didn't
mean it like that."
	"No cure..." Guy said, almost wonderingly.  "Even you've got a chance at
being normal again, Saotome, but me..."
	"Shampoo not know about that," Shampoo cut in, dumping a pot of boiling
water over his head before he could react.
	"Yeow!  That's hot!" three voices yelled in unison, as Kuno, Ryoga, and
Mousse leapt up, dripping but otherwise back to normal.  Kuno whipped
around to face her.  
	"How dare you - urk!"
	Ryoga pulled his fist from Kuno's face as the taller boy collapsed gently
into a heap.  "You don't know how long I've been wanting to do that," Ryoga
said, softly.  He looked at Ranma.  "You don't even want to know what this
guy fantasizes about."
	"Please," Ranma agreed, looking rather ill.
	Mousse shuddered at the memory, then adjusted his glasses and looked over
at Shampoo.  "I'm glad that someone finally managed to do that, but we'll
only change back the next time we get wet."
	Shampoo poured a small glass of water over Mousse's head.  He shrank to
knee height and gained feathers.
	"Quack?" he asked, puzzled.
	"New curse only work when all three of you close together and wet.  Avoid
each other in rain and should be fine."
	"You knew that all along?" Ranma sputtered.  "Why didn't you tell us?"
	"Ranma no ask."
	"Quack!  Quack!"  Mousse procured a bouquet of red roses from somewhere on
his feathery person and tried to give them to Shampoo.  
	"Red roses?" Akane asked, puzzled, as Shampoo brushed them aside.
("Shampoo only worry for you as friend and fellow employee, not like that! 
Stupid Mousse!")  "I thought that was Kuno's favorite tactic."
	Ryoga shrugged.  "We seem to blend into one another a little at the edges
after a while.  I think I'd better avoid Shampoo until this wears off, I
doubt Mousse would appreciate the competition."  He started for the door.
	"Hey, Ryoga."
	"What?"
	"Remember when you woke up as Guy, and you would have killed me if it
hadn't been for Kuno's little obsession?  And that time you offered to
'train' with me and almost got me killed?" 
	"Yeah..."
	Ranma cracked his knuckles.  "Do the words 'payback time' ring a bell?"
	As the ruckus started (as usual), Akane decided she had had enough of this
and headed for the door.  
	"Hey Akane!  Where're you going?" Ukyo called after her.
	"Home, to wash up and get some rest.  It seems things are back to normal,
and I intend to take advantage of the break while it lasts."
	She hadn't gone far when Ryoga and Ranma tumbled out the door and
scrambled into a dead run, Shampoo chasing after them with a bucket of
water and shouting, "Look what you do to restaraunt!  Come back and help
clean up!"
	"Well.  As normal as things get around here," she amended, and continued
on home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------
	So that's my story and my first fanfic.  I hope you enjoyed it, and even
if you didn't, I hope you'll rip into me with some charity 'cause I am just
a beginner.  However, I would like some helpful feedback.  Am I mucking up
with the characterization for somebody?  Is Gel too weird, considering I
tried to create a Takahashi-type bizarre villain with all the bounce of
Kathy Lee and all the scruples of a snake?  Is this whole story just too
strange?  I need to know!  If I need to be stopped before I write again,
tell me!  
	Danke scho"n!
								
- The Author, who should probably see someone 'bout getting her head
examined...