[Ranma] "No Need for Ranma!" (4/?)
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: no_need_for_ranma4.txt,v 1.3 1997/04/15 05:59:36 hcobb Exp $

The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko
Takahashi.  No infringement of her copyrights is intended.

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I am Ukyou Kuonji, master of the school of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

My beloved Ran-chan jumped from the cart to go back for me when we were
five, so I took his place when he was lost at the age of ten during the
Cat Fist training.

My subterfuge got a lot easier after my recent pilgrimage to the
Nanniichuan.  I don't even have to die my hair black anymore.

With Genma's assistance, I am attempting to fulfill Ranma's pledge to
his mother and Genma's promise to Soun to marry one of his daughters.
Unfortunately, I'm now engaged to all three of the Tendo sisters.

And now Ryouga Hibiki has returned with a secret from my past.

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Ryouga continued to glare suspiciously at Akane as they followed me from
the school.  He must think that it was all her fault that we were
engaged in an "obscene" relationship.  I wonder how she would react if
she knew the truth about me.

Ryouga could never blame me for anything, no matter the circumstances.
I was always perfect, a goddess gracing this mortal world with my
presence and my mysterious ways were not to be questioned.  Anybody else
who got in the way of his worship was to be crushed.

No thanks Ryouga, I can run my own life.  I just wish that I didn't need
to run yours as well.

Suddenly I stopped.  "This is your house Ryouga, if I remember
correctly."

"Yes!  This is great.  I haven't been here in months.  Come in you two,
I'll get you something."

Ryouga gestured for us to sit on the couch then went into the kitchen.

"Akane, you must understand."  I whispered to her.  "Ryouga's a very
sweet boy, a real puppy dog, but he gets violent when upset.  He's got
this problem.  He suffers from delusions.  That's why he's always
getting lost, he retreats into his own fantasy world and looses track of
where he is in the real one.  One of his delusions is that he thinks
that I'm a girl and he's in love with me."

"Really?"

"Yes, so we'd best just play along for a while."

Ryouga returned with a bowl of packaged bread products.  "Now what's
this about Akane being your fiancee?"

"Well, you know my problem.  My father thinks that I'm a boy.  That's
why he sent me to that boy's school we were in."

Akane reached for a bread package, but I gestured to the sell-by date on
the label, several months ago.

"And now he's talked Akane's father into engaging us.  Neither of those
two old men is very stable if you know what I mean.  And so, we've been
waiting for them to come to their senses."

"Yes,"  Akane said.  "So, you see we really don't have any choice in the
matter."

"What a tragedy!"  Ryouga said.  "I will free you from this perverse
engagement!"

"Well, we can't very well walk up to our fathers and tell them they're
crazy, can we?  It's very sweet of you to offer, but I think we'll just
have to see this through ourselves."

"OK Ranma, we'll play it your way.  Just tell me, why did you run out on
our date?"

"I wouldn't call it running out.  I waited three days at my house for
you."

"Yes, but when I got there on the fourth day you were gone."

"I had a training trip with pop.  I told you about that."

"Yes, but you didn't tell me were."

"I was going to tell you all about it, when you showed up.  Maybe, even
take you along.  After three days, I figured you'd lost interest."

Akane looked at us in confusion.  It was getting a little too close to
the truth.

"I wasn't out for a joy walk for four days."  Ryouga thought for a few
minutes then continued.  "I was thinking about you, about us, about what
we could be together.  When I looked up I was totally lost.  I rushed
back to you as fast as I could, cursing myself with every step."

"I'm sure you did all you could, Ryouga."  As usual, it was really my
fault.  I expected too much from you.

"It doesn't matter who's at fault.  The important thing is that we've
found each other at last.  Now we've got all the time in the world."

"Speaking of time, what have you been doing these past few months?"

"Just looking for you Ranma."

"You've been skipping school?  What happened to your dreams of being an
architect?"

"You're all I dream about now."  Ryouga reached for my hand, but I
withdrew it.

"You dream that I'd marry a dropout, a bum?  You don't think much of
me."

"I'm sorry Ranma, please don't say that."  Tears began to form in the
lost boy's eyes.

"Promise me, you'll really try to make it in school?"

"Yes Ranma."

"OK, Furinkan High is six blocks straight down the street from your
house and there's a city bus that goes straight from here to there, but
just to make sure, Akane and I will come by each morning to pick you up.
If that's OK with you Akane?"

"Sure, no problem Ranma."

As Akane and I walked back to her house, she asked me.  "Why are you
going to all this trouble, for Ryouga?"

That's a very good question.  You're sharper than you let on, Akane.
The real reason is that he knows too much and I can't let him just
stumble around, but what do I say?  "He's a old friend of mine and even
if he's a bit delusional, he's got a very good heart.  I'd hate to see
it go to waste."

Kasumi was waiting when we returned.  "Where have you two been?  Akane,
has Ranma dear been seeing another girl?"

"Why no sis, you see he, he, heh heh..."

I held Akane for several minutes as she struggled to breathe against the
giggles.  "Now look what you've done."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry."

"We ran in to an old school pal of mine and went to HIS house."

"Old school pal he says, heh heh heh..."

"What's wrong with her?"  Nabiki asked.

Saturday morning, Ranma's parents came by the Tendo residence.

Genma went to Soun's study for Shogi and cheap sake.  He's been hitting
the bottle heavily again.  He must be thinking of Ranma again.

Nodoka looked after him, then put her concerns aside and turned to the
girls.  "Kasumi dear, if you don't mind, could you help me with your
sisters' cooking lessons?"

"Why, of course auntie Nodoka."

"Please excuse me", Nabiki bowed to Nodoka, "but I don't really think
I'll be needing the instruction."  She went upstairs.

"Son, can I talk to you?  Please excuse us for a moment."

"Sure thing mom."

I followed Nodoka outside to the garden.

"Son, what do you think Nabiki is doing, right now?"

"Um, if I had to guess I'd say she's sprawled on her bed, listening to
her stereo while reading a fashion magazine and sucking on a lollypop."

"Yes, do you see what you've done to her?"

"Huh?  That's exactly what she'd do before I even showed up."

"Exactly, she's retreated back into her shell, because you've rejected
her, to go playing around with Akane's and Kasumi's feelings."

"I'm sorry, I hadn't considered."

"Yes, you must learn to show some consideration, or you'll wind up just
like your father.  Now, go to her and pray it isn't too late."

I knocked at Nabiki's door.

"Come in Ranma."  She put down the latest issue of Vague.

"How did you know it was me?"

"I saw your mother dressing you down in the yard.  What can I do you
for?"

"Um, a Yen for your thoughts?"

"You undervalue me, Ranma."

"I have been doing that, haven't I?  I just don't understand you.  Tell
me what you want and I'll see if I can get it."

"Watch it, you'll make Kasumi jealous."

"Do you really think that?"

"To tell the truth, I'm not sure.  Is she not aware of leading Dr Tofu
on or is she carefully testing him?  Big sister is something of a
mystery.  Sometimes I doubt I'm anywhere near the smartest sister."

"Don't say that, you're sharp as a pin."

"And sometimes it hurts as much, to be the one to have look out for the
family's finical health, as Kasumi looks out for the emotional."

"And Akane?"

"She scares off the burglars."

"You two seem to protect her.  What's with the interference on the
engagement.  Am I not good enough for her?"

"The jury's still out."

"I swear on my honour as a martial artist, that my sole intent is to
promote the school.  I don't see you happy as a sensei's humble
wife. huh?"

"Ranma, what is it?"

I smelt smoke and sensed something else.  I grabbed Nabiki, yanked open
her window and leapt out to the ground below.

"Ranma, what?!?"

"Don't go into the house!"  I took a moment to reach my inner calm, took
a deep breath then ran into the kitchen.

I found Kasumi, Nodoka and Akane collapsed there and pulled them out,
then I circled around to the front and pulled Soun and Genma staggering
out.

With everybody accounted for, I checked them over.  Soun and Genma were
just a little a dizzy, Kasumi and Nodoka would recover, but Akane's lips
were as blue as her hair.

I gave her mouth to mouth until her eyes opened.  She stared at me with
anger, then doubled over coughing.  "Thanks Ranma, I guess you saved us
there."

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two and a half."

"Good, you'll recover.  Now, tell me, how did you release that much
carbon monoxide from common kitchen ingredients?"

"Ranma no Baka!"

I let her slap me.  It seemed to help.

"It's my fault Ranma darling", Kasumi explained, "I was talking to
auntie Nodoka and neither one of us kept watch."

"Well, we can't go back into the house until it airs out."

"Soun, you and your family can spend the day at my house",  Genma
offered, "As I recall, you were down two pieces."

"Speaking of visits, I know somebody who's probably very lonely today.
Would you like to drop by Ryouga's again, Akane?"

"Sure."

I rang the doorbell, then heard Ryouga's voice from somewhere inside the
house.  "I'm coming."

Several minutes later Ryouga's voice sounded again.  "Uh, could you tell
me which way the front door is?"

"Just follow the sound of my voice."  I replied.

"Oh, there you are." Ryouga opened the door.  "What brings you by today?
Is it, uh, Monday already?"

"No, it's Saturday."  I answered "We have martial arts practice.  I
thought you might like to come over."

"Thanks, that's great.  Just let me get my gi.  Uh, do you remember
which way my room is?"

"Follow me Ryouga.  Did you sleep in the hall again?"

"Yeah, I'd forgotten how lonely this place is, with nobody around."

Akane was still waiting, when we returned.

"Don't worry Ryouga, I'll let you borrow one of my gis.  How can you
ever find anything in that mess?"

At the Dojo, Ryouga and I faced off.  "Just watch this Akane.  Ryouga's
one of the best martial artists I know."

We spared for several minutes, then Ryouga seemed to loose focus as he
stared into my face.  He never saw the foot sweep that took him down.

"Pay attention!"  I helped Ryouga back to his feet.  "Akane, perhaps
you'd best take this match."

"OK."

Akane and Ryouga traded a few combinations, then Ryouga's face began to
twist in anger.  He landed a kick on Akane's side.

Akane stepped back and Ryouga clipped the side of her face with a punch.
She fell to the floor and he raised a foot to stomp her.

I jumped in and threw Ryouga aside, then pinned him.  "Are you feeling
OK Ryouga?"

"Yes, sorry Ranma."

"Are you OK Akane?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"OK, let's spend the rest of the afternoon in yoga practice."  I sat
between them.  "Self control is always the first weapon."

Monday morning, Akane and I set out early and found Ryouga a few blocks
from his house, walking away from the school.

"Ryouga!"  I yelled to get his attention.

"Oh, hi Ranma."

"Where were you going?"

"To school, like I promised."

"It's this way.  I said I'd be by to pick you up.  Next time wait."

"I'm sorry Ranma."

In class, Ryouga got the seat next to me on the other side from Akane.

Ryouga sat with a dreamy expression on his face, sneaking glances at me,
when he thought I wasn't looking.  When the teacher asked Ryouga a
question, he totally blew it and was asked to stand out in the hall.

I grimaced in frustration, then turned my attention back to the
classwork.  Ryouga no Baka.

After class there was no trace of Ryouga.

"What happened to Ryouga?"  Akane asked me.

"Isn't it obvious?  He got sent to stand out in the hall, and got lost
on the way."

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb
    This one is for the Ukyou and Ryouga group, both of them.