Okay, this has been posted to both of the temporary lists, but
since everybody wasn't on those lists, I'll repost it here.

This is a parody. I'm saying that just so you won't stop reading
when you see the title.

KNIGHT SABERS VS.THE X-MEN
BY:THE MARTIAN

With special guest appearances by Kasumi Tendo and Cory
Emerson

legal jargon
I don't remember whose copyright Bubblegum Crisis and the
Knight Sabers are, but I don't own them. Kasumi Tendo is
copyright by Rumiko Takahashi and her licensees, Cory
Emerson is copyright by Dark Horse (I think). Marvel, X-Men,
and all related stuff are copyright by Marvel Entertainment
Group Inc. So I don't own them either.
HyperBoomers (tm, patent Pending) are (C) and (TM) by
GENOM

With apologies to John Biles and Adam Warren (like he's ever
gonna read this...)

Animeverse, Megatokyo 2035 AD

	Life was not going very well for the mad scientist Dr.
Miriam Yoshida of GENOM. True, he had once again been
rescued from prison by GENOM. True, he had once again given
resources to build his HyperBoomers(tm, patent pending). True,
he had once again planned everything very carefully so his
HyperBoomers(tm, patent pending) could destroy the Knight
Sabers. Unfortunately (for him. Fortunately for our heroes) Sylia
had once again decided to upgrade their Hard Suits just before
the battle, so Miriam's boomers were getting their asses kicked,
again. Miriam was watching the destruction of his boomers
through the security cameras of the GENOM tower, and he really
wasn't happy. "Too bad" he whispered. He would have spoken
aloud, but there had been this teeny accident during his latest
escape from prison. An accident that had severely damaged his
vocal cords, so he couldn't speak, just whisper. "It seems I must
use plan B." 
	Dr. Miriam Yoshida was no stupid man. True, he didn't
know a thing about military tactics, but he was a brilliant
scientist. Not as brilliant as Katsuhiro Stingray or Sylia, but that
was quite understandable. Katsuhiro was the inventor of
boomers and Sylia was the leader of the Knight Sabers, which
means she was the main heroine. (even if most of the fans prefer
Nene or Priss over her) So of course they were better than Dr.
Yoshida, our run-of-the-mill evil mad scientist. Now then, Dr.
Yoshida was no stupid man, so of course he had a plan B, and
this particular plan B was even more ingenious than most of his
plan Bs. (well, this was the first time he actually had a plan B,
but it was a very good plan B none the less.) Actually this was a
plan B which would have made Washuu proud, if not for one
little flaw. We'll come back to that flaw later, but now lets talk
about Miriam's plan B. 
	This plan B involved huge amounts of really high tech
machinery and was designed to do something really nasty to the
Knight Sabers. This plan B consisted of a Reality Twister. I'm
sure you all know what a Reality Twister is. It is a really high
tech machine which can send people and equipment to other
dimensions. Kinda like that golden plate -thingie the Fantastic
Four have in Reed's laboratory. The one they stole from Dr.
Doom I think. This particular Reality Twister was aimed at the
room were the Knight Sabers were currently turning Dr.
Yoshida's HyperBoomers (tm, patent pending) into high tech
garbage. So if Dr. Yoshida's HyperBoomers (tm, patent pending)
lost, he would just have to pull one lever, and the Knight Sabers
would be sent to another dimension, with no hope of ever
coming back. Why this was his plan B and not plan A, we will
never know.

	Now, lets take a look at somewhere else, shall we. More
accurately lets take a look at GENOM Chairman Quincy's office.
Quincy was there, sitting behind his huge Chairman's desk and
following the Knight Sabers battle against the HyperBoomers
(tm, patent pending) from one of the many viewscreens of his
office. Other viewscreens showed Dr. Yoshida, Yoshida's
laboratory, the stock exchange rates, the blueprints of Dr.
Yoshida's Reality Twister and the latest rerun of Sailor Moon.
Quincy's special assistant Kate Madigan was also in the office,
and she was the one watching Sailor Moon. Quincy's attention
was drawn to the blueprints of the reality twister. He was leaning
back on his very comfortable Chairman's chair, relaxing and
enjoying the show, but suddenly he straightened up. "Madigan.
Give me a calculator." 
"Yes, sir." Madigan stood up, walked around the Chairman's
desk, opened a desk drawer next to the Chairman's chair, took
out a calculator and gave it to Quincy, never taking her eyes off
the viewscreen showing Sailor Moon. "Here sir." Madigan then
returned to her chair as Chairman Quincy started making
calculations. "Madigan, put up part 8B of the blueprints." He
asked. Madigan stood up and came around the Chairman's desk
again, this time to adjust some controls that were on the
Chairman's desk, beside his chair. She tried to use the controls to
bring up the part of the blueprints Quincy had asked for, but
since she was trying to watch Sailor Moon at the same time she
pressed the wrong button and replaced Sailor Moon with Nurse
Angel Ririka. 
	Has anyone of you ever seen Nurse Angel Ririka? That is
one Magical Girl show that really sucks. Really, really, really
sucks. Now, even if watching Sailor Moon wasn't very special
executivel-ike, both Madigan and Quincy had a good taste, so
when Nurse Angel came on screen Quincy almost got an hearth
attack and Madigan puked to a convenient thrashcan next to the
Chairman's chair. Fortunately for the Chairman his assistant
quickly recovered, replaced Nurse Angel with Sailor Moon, gave
her boss some nitros to calm his hearth before putting up part 8B
of the blueprints of the Reality Twister. She then returned to
watching Sailor Moon as Quincy studied the blueprints. Then he
made some more calculations and then:
"Oh, my." 
Hearing this very unQuincylike sentiment coming out from her
boss' mouth Madigan turned to look at him. Quincy was very
pale. Very, very, very pale. Maybe it has something to do with
that hearth attack, Madigan thought, and called in a doctor.
Quincy then stood up.
"Madigan, we must immediately..." he started, but was
interrupted when the door to his office opened. 
"Well, that was quick." Madigan said to herself as she turned to
face whoever came in. She really wasn't expecting Kasumi
Tendo.
	Both Madigan and Quincy blinked as they saw Kasumi. It
wasn't just the fact that Kasumi was a Ranma 1/2 character and
this fanfic wasn't a BGC/Ranma crossover, but also the fact that
she had a slight frown on her face. Now, for any normal person a
slight frown is nothing. The person is either slightly displeased
or confused, and if you would have taken Kasumi's psyche
readings and given them to a random shrink (a psychologist to
those who want to use the "official" terms) without saying whose
psyche readings they were, he would have said that the person
was slightly displeased. But this is Kasumi Tendo we are
speaking about. Kasumi I-am-always-cheerful-no-matter-what-
happens Tendo. For her to be slightly displeased equals for
Akane to be mad enough to mallet Ranma to LEO. (LEO=Low
Earth Orbit. If you didn't know) Now, since Kasumi was always
so cheerful, happy and friendly there was no one in the whole
multiverse of anime worlds who would want to get her
displeased. Not even Largo. And if you are always cheerful, a
little anger is more intimidating than the full-blown fury of an
archdemon. 
"Umm...Eh...Miss. Tendo...What brings you here?" Quincy
stammered as he sat back down, really hoping he was
somewhere else. Kasumi walked to the Chairman's desk, still
frowning. 
"Now, Quincy-sama" she began and shook her finger at the
chairman. "you have done something you really shouldn't have."
Kasumi's frown was the replaced by her normal cheery
expression. "But it's all right. I've come here to clear things up." 
Huge sweatdrops had appeared on the back of Quincy's head.
"Uhh...Miss Tendo. What have I done?"
"Well..." Kasumi straightened her already totally straight apron
"You used an phrase that is reserved for sweet and caring female
characters only."
"Oh..." Huge drops of sweat were appearing on Quincy's
forehead too. "What phrase?"
"Oh, my." Kasumi said simply. Madigan looked around the
office, trying to figure out why Kasumi had said that. 
"Oh..." Quincy seemed to be in a really intelligent mood. "And
just who says it's reserved only for sweet and caring female
characters?" Kasumi cheerily took out a huge pile of papers from
her handbag.(which was much too small to hold them)  "This
says. It is the contract you signed when you signed up on fanfics.
Article 1138, subclass 42 says "Only sweet and caring female
characters, for example Kasumi Tendo or Belldandy, may use
the phrase "oh my." All other characters who use this phrase are
obliged to eat some of Akane Tendo's cookies." Kasumi Paused
for a second "So then, Mr. Chairman. Would you like some
cookies?" She took out a plateful of cookies. 
"But....But...That's murder!" Madigan shouted. Kasumi just
smiled sweetly to her. "I didn't write that contract. Don't blame
me." She turned back to Quincy, who was sweating really hard
now, held out the plate and smiled sweetly. The results are easy
to guess. Nobody, that is absolutely nobody, not even Tarou, can
resist Kasumi's smile for a long time. Quincy took a cookie.
Well, at least I'll be the Chairman from now on, Madigan
thought when Quincy bit to the cookie. He chewed it for a while,
swallowed and then, with a very confused expression, took
another bite. 
"This...this...this is actually good?" 
Kasumi smiled apologetically "I'm afraid the normal Akane was
busy, so we had to use the one who is a prefect cook. The one 
from Biles' Lemon Sherbet." Both Madigan and Quincy
facefaulted. Madigan stayed down for a while, but Quincy
immediately stood up, remembering something. "Quickly! We
must leave the tower! It is going to explode!"
"What!!" Madigan was up in an instant. Kasumi just put a hand
to her mouth and said (yes, you guessed it) "Oh, my." 
Quincy looked at one of the viewscreens. Dr. Yoshida had just
activated his Reality Twister. (And since he couldn't laugh by
himself, Miriam then played the sample of Jinnai Katsuhiko's
laughter he had saved for just this occasion) The Knight Sabers
disappeared in a flash of light and the whole GENOM tower
began to shake. "Too late." He sat down to his comfortable
Chairman's chair to wait for the inevitable. "Well, at least you
don't have to worry about the electricity bill." Kasumi said
cheerfully before the whole tower was blown to tiny bits. That
was the tiny flaw in Dr. Yoshida's plan B. It blew the GENOM
tower to bits. And that destroyed large parts of Megatokyo. And
he didn't even kill the Knight Sabers since they were transported
to another dimension before the tower blew up.

Marvel Universe, New York, 1997AD

	It would be an understatement to say that the Knight
Sabers were surprised when they were transported to another
dimension. But it was even bigger surprise (to them, not to the
reader I hope) that they were teleported to the Marvel universe
into the middle of a fight between the X-men and the Marauders.
Now, this fight had just proceeded to the part where enough
property damage had been inflicted to keep the readers satisfied
and the both parties had regrouped and faced each other so the
Good Guys could attack and beat the crap out of the Bad Guys.
Now, just when they were going to start fighting again, there was
a huge flash of light, blinding everybody but Dazzler and the
Prism, and four very confused Babes In Battlearmor appeared
between the two groups. 
	Now it is time to tell you something about the Marvel
universe. It isn't that uncommon for people to appear out of
nowhere into the middle of a battleground, so that didn't surprise
either party (thought they did say the obligatory "What the hell"s,
"Where did they come from"s or just plain "What"s). What
surprised them was the fact that neither knew to whose side the
new people belonged to. You see, every superhero and villain of
the Marvel Universe instinctively knows if every new character
with superpowers (or something similar, like powered battle
armour) is a hero or a villain. Since the Knight Sabers weren't
supposed to be in this universe, they didn't give out Good Vibes
(proclaiming them Good Guys) nor Bad Vibes (proclaiming
them Bad Guys). This really confused the hell out of everybody,
since the Knight Saber definitely were characters with
superpowers. (or actually something similar. Powered
battlearmor in their case) Unfortunately for the Knight Sabers,
all Marvel superheroes and supervillains (actually all Marvel
characters) are very simple people. Sure, some of them are
supergeniouses, like the Forge, but in the end they are very
simple people. Now the X-men's thoughts went like this:"Those
people have powered battlearmor. That means they are classified
as characters with superpowers. They aren't giving out any Good
Vibes. That means they can't be Good Guys. That means they
must be Bad Guys. That means we must kick their ass." and the
thought processes of the Marauders went like this:"Those people
have powered battlearmor. That means they are classified as
characters with superpowers. They aren't giving out any Bad
Vibes. That means they can't be Bad Guys. That means they must
be Good Guys. That means we must kick their ass."  (Of course
they had to wait for their sight to return before doing this.)
	It really is unfortunate that Good Guys can't feel Bad
Vibes and that Bad Guys can't feel Good Vibes. That is the main
reason there are so few anime-Marvel crossovers. You have to
install Vibegenerators on all the anime characters so the Marvel
characters can see if they are Good or Bad Guys. Now the Knight
Sabers weren't prepared for an anime-Marvel crossover, so they
didn't have Vibegenerators installed, so both the X-Men and the
Marauders double teamed on them. Unfortunately for them
Marvel superpowers are nothing compared to anime
superpowers and superscience. The X-men and the Marauders
didn't stand a chance. (for those who wonder how the Knight
Sabers were able to kill humans, I must remind you that in OAV
2 "Born to Kill" it is shown that Mason's bodyguard boomers'
"blood" is red and that there are no superpowered beings in the
normal BGC universe, where these Knight Sabers come from, so
they thought they were killing some kind of HyperBoomers (tm,
patent pending) and so they didn't give a second thought about
not killing their foes. Then if you say that Nene's sensor would
have shown that they were humans, you still are wrong, since her
sensors were totally screwed up from transporting to another
universe.) So, after a brief battle, the Knight Sabers were
standing in the middle of a pile of very dead (but don't worry.
Nobody dies permanently in Marvel universe. That has been
proved many times in the past) superheroes and -villains.
	When the smoke had cleared, and it was certain that none
of those weird boomers (Nene's sensors were still screwed up.
They were unscrewed soon after this, but not yet.) were going to
stand up again, the Knight Sabers finally had time to take in their
surroundings. They were standing on what looked like a
warzone. There were really big holes in nearby buildings, huge
craters on the streets and almost all the windows were broken. It
was weird that no other bodies than those of the boomers could
be seen. (this is another strange thing about Marvel universe. No
matter how much property damage is done, you can never see
the dead bodies of the innocent bystanders.) The city they were
in also looked quite old, and it definitely was not Megatokyo (all
the signs were in English, you dummy!) so their reaction wasn't a
surprise. While Linna and Nene stared around dumbfounded and
Sylia started to analyse the situation and think about where they
were, Priss opened her faceplate and shouted as loud as she
could: "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE!!!!!!!!" Of course she
shouted that in Japanese, but since all dialogue in this story
(except the X-men and Marauder's thought processes, that really
weren't in any language) has been in Japanese, that shouldn't be a
surprise. I mentioned this because the Knight Sabers were
currently in New York (not that they knew that yet) so nobody
understood Priss.  (they were in Marvel universe so all the
innocent bystanders, who were the only ones to hear Priss' shout,
spoke English. Only the Japanese and ninjas can speak Japanese
in Marvel Universe. Oh, and Logan too, of course.)
	Sylia turned to face Priss. "Priss. Please calm down and
put your faceplate back to its place. I do not know where we are,
but panicking won't help us at all." 
"I'm not panicking!" Priss shouted and turned to face Sylia. "But
excuse me if I can't take everything as calmly as you, miss Ice
Queen!" At this point Nene's sensors began working all right
again, and she became very pale. (not that anyone could see that)
She scanned the surroundings while Priss continued shouting at
Sylia who tried to calm Priss down, now whit Linna's help. So,
Nene scanned the surroundings and found out something pretty
interesting about the bodies. "Sy...Sy...S...Sylia!" She wailed
"Those bodies are organic! We've killed humans!" 
"What!?" Now even Sylia was loosing her calm. Sure, being
transported to another universe was unexpected and more than a
little worrisome (Sylia had figured this out during the fight. Now
*where* in an alternate universe where they was a completely
another question), but killing other humans was against her very
morals.
"Are you sure, Nene." She asked, somewhat uncertain.
"Uhh, well. That little man with big claws has awfully lot of
metal in his body and that big silver man is made out of some
weird metal and that one man seems to be glass but the others
are definitely organic." The redhead sobbed. Priss had quieted
down after hearing what Nene had said and soon she and Linna
were studying the bodies on their own. There was no doubt about
it, the Knight Sabers had killed several humans, and in front of a
big audience. (sure, there were lots of innocent bystanders
watching every fight so they can either be killed, taken hostage
or can congratulate the heroes after the fight.) They were
doomed. (There is a long angst-filled scene here, but I'm too lazy
to write it. Use your imagination)
	The Sabers were snapped out of their reverie when
somebody shouted "The Knight Sabers!?!?!?" They all turned to see 
a quite tall, beautiful, blond woman staring at them, seemingly not
believing their eyes. So, we are known in this universe, Sylia thought. 
I hope we didn't just tarnish our alternate selves reputation. 
The blond walked forward, careful to make her way around the bodies. 
"Knight Sabers? What the hell are you doing here? This is a western 
fictional world, the Marvel universe, not any anime."  She said. 
The Sabers stared at each other in confusion. 
"Uhh..Do we know you?" Sylia finally said. 
"No. I don't think so. Anyway, my name is Cory Emerson. I'm a
reporter. How did you get here?"
"A Reporter!?" Priss shouted and readied her arm cannon.
"Nonononono! I'm not here to make a story!" Cory shouted,
waving her hands before herself. "I'm here on a vacation from
my own universe!" 
"You come from another universe too?" Sylia inquired. At the
same time police sirens were finally heard in the distance.
"Yes." Cory answered. "But could we continue this somewhere
else?" 
"Uh, what about them?" Nene pointed at the bodies.
"Don't worry. None of those superpeople ever dies permanently.
They'll just find some plothole to bring them back. Can we go
now?" The Sabers stared at Cory for a second, before engaging
in a high tech version of the ancient art of roofhopping. (Oh yes,
they did take Cory with them.)
	Later, on a rooftop, far away from where we last saw
them, the Knight Sabers were talking with Cory.
"So, we are in another universe, where there are ridiculous
amounts of people with superpowers or something similar, like
powered battlearmor," Sylia began "and none of them ever die
permanently?"
"Yes." Cory answered, sipping her Coke. 
"So we haven't actually killed anyone?"
"Oh yes you have, but it won't last. They always come back to
life."
"Well, that is good to hear. It would have been horrible, if we
had killed them for good."
"Actually it would have been a great service to the multiverse in
whole, but I don't think even the Knight Sabers are able to do
that. Those guys have been killed, even blown to subatomic
particles, more times than I care to count, and they've always
come back to life."
"Uhh...what about you?" Linna asked. "If you aren't from this
universe, where do you come from and how did you get here?"
"Well, I come from the anime universe of Dirty Pair (Cory looks
around, but is relieved when the Lovely Angels aren't there) but
since I was created by a western artist I can spend my holidays in
western fictional worlds too. And I got here by asking Adam
Warren, that's my creator, to draw me here."
"I see. Is there any way you can help us return to our own
universe?" Sylia asked.
"Sure! Adam has also drawn a Bubblegum Crisis -story. The one
where that Russian guy tried to capture you because of your
enchantments, Sylia."
"Oh. that explains why my songs were so stupid back then." Priss
injected.
"Yes. I think Adam went a little overboard with that, though. I
like your usual singing much better."
"Thanks."
"Now about returning to our own universe..."
"Sure, Sylia." Cory said cheerfully. "Just take my hands and I'll
take you to Adam. From there you can get back to your home
universe."
"Oh good. Now I can tell this Mr. Warren what I think about his
version of my music." Priss was grinning like a madwoman,
cracking her knuckles. 
"Now, now, Priss. Be friendly, or he might not want to send us
back." Linna said to her friend.
"Oh, yeah?" Priss said just before the five women disappeared in
a flash of light.

Animeverse, Megatokyo, 2035AD 

	The four Knight Sabers appeared to the middle of the
remains of the GENOM tower about half an hour after their
disappearance. There was still lots of dust and smoke in the air,
but at least they could see what had happened.
"What the hell!??" Priss shouted almost immediately after their
reappearance. (She was immensely satisfied with herself, by the
way. She really had given Warren a piece of her mind about
what she thought about her singing style in Grand Mal. She
figured he would get out of hospital in a month or two.)
"It seems the GENOM tower has...collapsed." Sylia informed her
team mate.(unnecessary. They all could see that) She was quite
surprised herself. She had thought that there might be some side
effects when they were sent to another universe, but the
destruction of the whole GENOM tower. Wasn't that a little
overkill? The Knight Sabers split to search the ruins. Oddly there
were no rescue workers anywhere. (maybe it had something to
do with the fact, that the violent explosion of the GENOM tower
had destroyed large parts of city around it and all the rescue
workers were busy there)
	As usual, it was Nene who first spotted the only other
living individual, besides them, in the ruins. Kasumi Tendo was
standing in the middle of the ruins, calmly trying to clean her
apron that had been smudged by the explosion. This was of
course a little odd, since she had been in the Chairman's office
when the tower blew up, so she should have been dead, but have
you ever seen anything bad happen to Kasumi? (Okay, maybe
she's been killed a few times and so on, but this isn't a darkfic.)
The Knight Sabers quickly gathered around her.
"Uhh..Kasumi, (of course they knew her. Every major character
knows her) what happened here?" Kasumi looked up from her
work. "Oh, I think the GENOM tower blew up. Isn't that sad."
She said cheerfully. "Would you like a cookie?"

Authors afterword

Well, that is one weird fic, I think. I wrote this in less than a day.
Talk about inspiration, or something.
C&C is greatly appreciated, how else can I find out if you like
this or not?

I also think Cory Emerson was created by Adam Warren, if I'm
wrong, sorry. 
This story is worth 28 drinks in the Bubblegum Crisis drinking game. 
-----------
The Martian
Jussi.Nikander@nixu.fi
Nabla is your friend.