Weeeellll, looky here. I revive a connection with a friend at my old alma
mater and he provides me with THIS little gem. How many of you
remember this from last year?

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                      ALL I EVER LEARNED I LEARNED FROM ANIME

1. War sucks.

2. You CAN have too many women.

3. Smart people wear glasses.

4. Music foreshadows plot.

5. The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you'll get.

6. Inversely, the harder you try, the less you'll get.

7. When you die, make a long speech, and don't finish the last sentence.

8. Snow means love.

8a. Cherry Blossoms also mean love.

9. The beast teams come in fives.

10. In space, you can hear everything.

11. There's always room for flashbacks!

12. When in China, listen to your tour guide.

13. The good guy always has the BLUE aura.

14. Speak softly and pilot a BIG mech.

15. Believe in goddesses.

16. Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.

17. Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.

18. Honor is sexy; villiany is irresistible.

19. Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.

20. The coolest weapon is still the sword.

21. The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.

22. Female androids are sexy; male androids are...male androids.

23. The greeh haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man
she loves.

24. School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.

25. A show without sexual tension isn't worth watching.

26. Love knows no race, species or logic.

27. If it's homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).

28. Never trust a huge corporation.

29. Romance never comes simpler than a triangle.

30. Never fall for the girl who gives her mech a French name.

31. Never fall in love with a psychic.

32. You can never have too much hair.

33. Sweating is a sure sign of stress.

34. Daydreaming leads to accidents.

35. Everyone wants to conquer Japan.

36. The cute, fuzzy creature isn't what it seems.

37. Cherry blossoms also mean nostalgia.

38. Always take gravity into account.

39.settings and faces are self generating.

40. Losing your temper can be theraputic.

41. There's nothing sexier than high heels on a mech.

42. You can never have too many subplots.

43. If she sings, she's doomed.

44. You always remember the sad endings.

45. Double suicide is romantic.

46. Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.

47. Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.

48. Fancy ice cream is for girls only.

49. The most virtuous character will die.

50. Hot water has innumerable benefits.

51. No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.

52. The same theory above applies to vomiting.

53. The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.

54. If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line
you'll discover they're not blood relatives.

55. The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems.

56. All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.

57. All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few
days.

58. It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.

59. All high school kids in Japan have parents who are away on
extended business trips.

60. The oldest sister is the nice one, the youngest sister is the brash
one.

61. You can do anything to the human body as long as you hit the right
pressure point.

62. Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill
effects.

63. All major villians either want to take over the world or blow it up.

64. When someone paints up their face, they mean business.

65. Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices.

66. No matter how often you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed by a
major fireball.

67. The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the
girl he loves.

68. TAKAHASHI'S LAW #1: Food is a powerful motivator.

69. When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there's always a
hunk busily watching over them, usually in secret.

70. The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less
effective it is.

71. "Baka" does not mean a student going for his baccalaureate degree.

72. The more possesive a woman gets, the less likely she will end up
with the man of her dreams.

73. TAKAHASHI'S LAW #2: The two-foot tall geezer is someone to be
feared.

74. No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the
corner, the guy chasing it loses it's trail.

75. Extraterrestrials, demons, time travelers, etc. all want to alter the
course of history by letting Oda Nobunga win.

76. The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high
school student.

77. The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into
something to fight the bad guys.

78. True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether
realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.

79. TAKAHASHI'S LAW #3: When hit on the head, it is the most natural
thing in the world to tuck your middle and ring fingers in while keeping the
others extended.

80. Even the bravest of souls can be made weak and helpless by the
sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.

81. Never love a Gundam pilot: you're just destined for disappointment (or
a funeral).

82. All person under tthe age of 70 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a
standing position.

83. Never trust a guy with shiny teeth.

84. ESP causes more trouble than it's worth.

85. The vampire isn't _always_ the bad guy.

86. Nice things can come out of video stores that appear from nowhere.

87. Idiot captains win battles against incredible odds.

88. Order takeout at every opportunity--you might get lucky with a wrong
number.

89. The police are never anywhere there is a large amount of property
damage.

90. All Japanese high school principals are either possessed, insane, or
both.

91. All people with ESPer powers give off multicolored auras.

92. Just about any outer space villian has his sights set on destroying
the Earth.

93. (in conjunction with #92.) No planet in the universe can stop said
villian except the Earth.

94. Anyone can make a leap of 300 ft. or more if given a good running
start.

95. A samurai's sword can cut through anything.

96. All characters over the age of 60 shrink in height in direct proporton
to their age.

97. When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough
to completely obliterate any surrounding structures.

98. TAKAHASHI'S LAW #4: An anti-climax is a good climax.

99. Anime villians have the most creative death scenes.

100. Any love interest will always be possessed by a demon.


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     I seem to recall that there were more than this, but my friend has
apparently lost them. Oh, well. ^_^


                                                              ---Erin 2.5