On Thu, 13 Feb 1997, Richard Lawson wrote:
: Hi! This is Richard Lawson, writing from my brand-new email address.
: This address is temporary until Sprynet gets their email problems fixed.
I.e. You'll be keeping it well into the 21. century.
: There may be another copy of this fanfic sent under my
: "sterman@sprynet.com" address. If so, I apologize.
There was.
: This story takes place in the "Thy Inward Love" universe. It's something
: that's been rolling around in my head, and one night I just threw this on
: my hard disk.
<sigh> Richard, you know the text - let's say it together this
time:
1,
2,
3,
"Richard, you are too damn fast!"
: One important note: there are some very sexist attitudes in this story.
: Please note that these are the attitudes of the characters, not of me.
: Anyone who knows me also knows that I despise these kind of attitudes.
Three times the word "attitudes" in as many lines. And this is
still the introduction. I don't know if this bodes well. :)
: Genma and Nodoka : A Love Story
:
: By Richard Lawson
: Right now, however, he had the impassive face
: on, not because he was trying to show everyone how strong he was,
: but because he was so worried that if allowed any of his feelings
: to show, he'd collapse to the ground this instant.
I think that's "if he allowed".
: This good not be good.
?? I guess the first "good" was meant to be something else.
"Could" perhaps?
: Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone approach. Someone
: familiar, the only person whose presence he would tolerate right
: now.
The structure is a little muddled here. perhaps changing the
comma after "familiar" into a semicolon works better.
: The person standing over him coughed gently. "Hiya, Pop."
:
: He nodded once. "Son."
Hmmm, before I read further, I'll take a blind guess right now.
This is in the hospital during Ranko's birth, right? Let's see if
I guessed it.
: He finally looked over at the boy. The man. The man who had
: grown up never realizing he had two parents. "I never told you
: much about her."
Oooohhh, flashback alert!
: Genma stood with his back to the rock, breathing heavily. It was
: done. At last it was done. He was free.
:
: He looked over to his friend and smiled. "Well, that wasn't so
: bad, was it Tendo?"
Hmmm, I wonder how you are going to work around the
inconsistencies in the timeline.
: Genma shared their master's belief: that while
: women might be a source of occasional pleasure, they would drain
: your energy and make you lose your focus if you stayed with one
: too long.
TM and (C)opyright Dave Sim.
: He cursed silently. He ran up to the counter, where the girl he
: had followed here was operating the cash register. "Miss, do you
: know who that woman is?"
:
: He saw something akin to disappointment flit across her face.
: That was okay; losing her meant nothing if he could gain the other
: woman. "I don't know her name, only that she comes here every
: day."
Okay, the girl is Nodoka and He'll come here every day to somehow
get the "perfect" woman, until he somehow ends up with the girl
behind the counter. :) Hopefully he will be cured of his
attitude along the way.
: Still, he was uncharacteristically nervous. He didn't know why,
: exactly.
Because he's going after the wrong woman, I tell you!
Jumping down from a roof in front of someone, *that's* how a love
story starts, not just seeing some "perfect" vision glide by.
: "Here. This unlocks the front door, I've fixed it. Leave the key
: in the hallway when you've taken your stuff and leave the door
: unlocked; there's nothing to steal yet."
What a pity, eh, Genma? :)
: While wandering was fun, there was perhaps
: something else in life worth discovering.
:
: And her name was Nodoka.
:
: ~*~
:
: To be continued....
I hope so. :)
Sebastian (I knew it! I knew it! OOoooohohoHohOHOhoHOhOHoHoooo!)