[Ranma] "No Need for Ranma!" (3/?)
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: no_need_for_ranma3.txt,v 1.4 1997/02/09 16:15:32 hcobb Exp $
The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko
Takahashi. No infringement of her copyrights is intended.
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So Far:
Five year old Ran-chan jumped from the cart to back for Ucchan.
Ukyou pledged to take Ranma's place, after he was lost at the age of ten
in a training incident involving a cat.
Ukyou now 16, is a boy (thanks to the Nanniichuan) and has chosen Akane
(from the Tendo daughters) to be his fiancee. (Without even really
asking her.)
Ukyou uses the "Anything goes" style with some pressure-point based
holding pins, but otherwise looks just like her old cross-dressing self.
(Except when he's in the Chinese outfits.) Even to the point of using a
ponytail rather than a pigtail. (Apparently he hasn't tasted the
Dragon's whisker.)
The story is told from Akane's point of view and she currently is
unaware of the switch or that the cursed springs exist.
Ryouga showed up and was shocked to find "Ranma" engaged to a girl.
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Ryouga continued to glare at Akane as they followed Ranma from the
school.
Suddenly Ranma stopped. "This is your house Ryouga, if I remember
correctly."
"Yes! This is great. I haven't been here in months. Come in you two,
I'll get you something."
Ryouga gestured for them to sit on the couch then went into the kitchen.
"Akane, you must understand." Ranma whispered to her. "Ryouga's a very
sweet boy, a real puppy dog, but he gets violent when upset. He's got
this problem. He suffers from delusions. That's why he's always
getting lost, he retreats into his own fantasy world and looses track of
where he is in the real one. One of his delusions is that he thinks
that I'm a girl and he's in love with me."
"Really?"
"Yes, so we'd best just play along for a while."
Ryouga returned with a bowl of packaged bread products. "Now what's
this about Akane being your fiancee?"
"Well, you know my problem." Ranma began. "My father thinks that I'm a
boy. That's why he sent me to that boy's school we were in."
Akane reached for a bread package, but Ranma gestured to the sell-by
date on the label, several months ago.
"And now he's talked Akane's father into engaging us. Neither of those
two old men is very stable if you know what I mean. And so, we've been
waiting for them to come to their senses."
"Yes," Akane said. "So, you see we really don't have any choice in the
matter."
"What a tragedy!" Ryouga said. "I will free you from this perverse
engagement!"
"Well, we can't very well walk up to our fathers and tell them they're
crazy, can we? It's very sweet of you to offer, but I think we'll just
have to see this through ourselves."
"OK Ranma, we'll play it your way. Just tell me, why did you run out on
our date?"
"I wouldn't call it running out. I waited three days at my house for
you."
"Yes, but when I got there on the fourth day you were gone."
"I had a training trip with pop. I told you about that."
"Yes, but you didn't tell me were."
"I was going to tell you all about it, when you showed up. Maybe, even
take you along. After three days, I figured you'd lost interest."
They talk just like they were a couple. Akane wondered. Just how
perverted is Ranma?
"I wasn't out for a joy walk for three days." Ryouga thought for a few
minutes then continued. "I was thinking about you, about us, about what
we could be together. When I looked up I was totally lost. I rushed
back to you as fast as I could, cursing myself with every step."
"I'm sure you did all you could, Ryouga."
"It doesn't matter who's at fault. The important thing is that we've
found each other at last. We've got all the time in the world."
"Speaking of time, what have you been doing these past few
months?"
"Just looking for you Ranma."
"You've been skipping school? What happened to your dreams of being an
architect?"
"You're all I dream about now." Ryouga reached for Ranma's hand, but it
was withdrawn.
"You dream that I'd marry a dropout, a bum? You don't think much of
me."
"I'm sorry Ranma, please don't say that." Tears began to form in the
lost boy's eyes.
"Promise me, you'll really try to make it in school?"
"Yes Ranma."
"OK, Furinkan High is eight blocks straight down the street from your
house and there's a city bus that goes straight from here to there, but
just to make sure, Akane and I will come by each morning to pick you
up. If that's OK with you Akane?"
"Sure, no problem Ranma."
As Akane and Ranma walked back to her house, she asked him. "Why are
you going to all this trouble, for Ryouga?"
"He's a old friend of mine and even if he's a bit delusional, he's got a
very good heart. I'd hate to see it go to waste."
Monday morning, Akane and Ranma set out early and found Ryouga a few
blocks from his house, walking away from the school.
"Ryouga!" Ranma yelled to get his attention.
"Oh, hi Ranma."
"Where were you going?"
"To school, like I promised."
"It's this way. I said I'd be by to pick you up. Next time wait."
"I'm sorry Ranma."
In class, Ryouga got the seat next to Ranma on the other side from
Akane.
Ryouga sat with a dreamy expression on his face, occasionally looking at
Ranma. When the teacher asked Ryouga a question, he totally blew it and
was asked to stand out in the hall.
Ranma grimaced in frustration, then turned his attention back to the
classwork.
After class there was no trace of Ryouga.
"What happened to Ryouga?" Akane asked Ranma.
"Isn't it obvious? He got sent to stand out in the hall, and got lost
on the way."
That evening, at the Tendo residence, Akane heard a feminine "EEEEEK!",
a loud thump then a few moments later Ranma calling. "Akane, I need
your help!" She rushed to the bathroom and saw Ranma with a towel
around his waist standing over an unconscious Ryouga. A thin trickle of
blood came from Ryouga's nose.
"What happened?" Akane asked, "Did Ryouga attack you?"
"Nothing like that. He wandered in here, saw me in the tub, and was so
shocked to see me naked as a boy that he fainted and hit his nose on the
way down. Here, give me a hand with him."
Ranma and Akane lifted Ryouga and placed him on the couch.
"Don't worry", Ranma said, "He'll remember it differently when he wakes
up. Probably something about his modestly fainting when he saw a naked
girl."
"There's something that's been bothering me", Akane pointed at Ranma's
bare chest, "Why isn't he worried that you don't have, er breasts?"
"Oh, he thinks that I do have breasts and just keep them tightly bound.
To keep pop happy."
"Well, you'd best get dressed before he wakes up."
"Good idea."
The rest of the week was just as bad. Ryouga disappeared Wednesday
after class and didn't show up all day Thursday or Friday.
Friday evening, Akane and Ranma sat on the porch of the Dojo, after
their workout.
"You're worried about Ryouga, aren't you?" Akane asked Ranma.
"Yeah, but what can I do? I can't keep him from throwing his life away
like this."
"Myew?" A white cat with purple trim wearing barrettes had jumped into
Ranma's lap.
"A cat?" Ranma looked more troubled than surprised.
"Do you have a problem with cats?" Akane asked.
"It's just that I lost a very good friend to a cat once."
"Come here kitty", Akane picked up the cat, "don't scare Ranma so."
"Myew?" The cat asked Akane.
"Oh, you're just lost", Akane scratched the cat behind the ears, then
gently petted it. Soon the cat was stretched out purring on Akane's lap
as she stroked its belly.
"You two seem to be getting along well", Ranma said.
"I've always liked cats, I've just never had the time to have one of my
own."
"That cat belongs to somebody you know. Wild cats don't run around with
barrettes on."
"I know, but I guess I have to keep her until somebody shows up to claim
her. What'll I call you until then, how about Shinobi?"
"Isn't that more like a girl's name?"
"Yes, but cats don't normally wear barrettes either."
Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb
I expect just as many people to catch the Shinobi reference as have
spotted where the Viz I grabbed the title for this series.