Hi.
It is I, Hayesman.  This is spam.  But it is cool.  I take great liberty 
with both these statements.

Forum

[We see a board room with a young Japanese boy, an Italian, an Arab and a 
frog sitting at it.]

Hayesman: Hi.  HAYES is here. Along with several others in the fanfic 
copyrights debates.  Today we have my alter ego, Kasumijin, the eunuch, 
is with me as well as representitives from both parties.

Kasumijin:  Do you have to mention in my introduction that I'm a eunuch? 
 I mean I do have other characteristics.  I am a great writer.

Hayes: But you are a eunuch.

Kasumijin: Oh yeah?  Well you're a virgin!

Hayes: Shutup! I can rectify that situation, you'll always be a eunuch!

Kermit: Um, excuse me, we have business to attend to...

Kasumijin: Yes, we were throughing around ideas for a crossover fanfic.

Ranma: I still think this is a mistake.

Hayes: C'mon, you guys both have a lot of funny stuff.

Ranma: Yeah, but all my funny stuff is rather water based.

Kasumijin: How is that a problem?

Kermit: Well, you see, most of our cast has a phobia of water.

Hayes:  Why is that?

Kermit: Um, mildew.

Hayes: Ah, I see.

Kasumijin: Well, what about witty banter?

Ranma:  Well, we've got that going for us...

Kermit:  Yes, but there is a real problem with music. 

Ranma: Yeah, none of there stuff works as a fanfic, because it's all 
theatrical.  Music doesn't translate well to text.

Kasumijin: Well, what about character interaction?

Kermit:  Yes, well, we proceeded and had Akane and the Swedish Cheif have 
a bake off, but the, uh, studio exploded.  Luckily, no one was 
injured...fatally.  Though I have to complain that this was patially 
reponsible for our series getting cancelled...

Ranma: Hey, your series sucked.

Kermit: Hey!  It's not our falt our family veiwing audience was replaced 
by a generation X govermental conspiricy bent, dark drama audience!  
Besides, we lasted plenty more seasons back in the day where YOUR show 
only lasted three seasons total!

Ranma: Hey!  We still have OAV's and movies, and they have ORIGINAL 
stories!

Kermit:  You call "original" rehashing the same kidnapping prince plot 
with bikinis!?  And what about your fiancee' ?  How many kinds of stupid 
does she have to be to mix up dynamite sticks for celery sticks?!

Ranma: Hey!  What about YOUR fiancee' ?!  She's a stage hog!  Literally!

Kermit: [stands up] OK, now it's personal!

[Kasumijin and Hayes step back to avoid the brawl.]

Hayes: So, Kasumijin, what do you think?

Kasumijin:  I think we should drop this and continue with the 
Ducktales/Bubblegum Crisis crossover...


THE END

Disclaimer:  The preceding were formalized notes, not a publication of 
any kind or a use of any character.  Apologies to respective parties.