Intro:  The Following quote is verbatim from RL:

"Sailor Moon?  Oh yeah, that's the one about the girl who patrols her 
'hood with her homies kicking monster butt.  Yeah, I love that show."




********************************************

Lemon Sherbet 7:
"Faster, Faster, Kasumi!  Come, Come!"

This episode is dedicated to Albercrombie, the Space Gopher, and to 
Whoever wrote the Kasumi vs. Lobo story (Was that White Wolf?)

********************************************

      Ranma shuddered faintly as Kasumi dragged him into her room and 
locked the door.  How do I get into these things?  

     How indeed?  Well, let's tell you...

     Ranma's first clue that trouble was coming came at Breakfast that 
morning.  Breakfast was good as usual.  however, Kasumi normally doesn't 
wear shorts.  When she does wear shorts, she normally doesn't wear a 
tight shirt unbuttoned down to just above her belly button that is three 
sizes too small, so that it would show off a lot of cleavage, except for 
the black bikini top that she was wearing.  Did I mention that the shorts 
were very tight and very short?  

      Ranma blinked and turned to Akane who was whispering quietly to 
Nabiki.  Mr. Tendo either didn't notice how Kasumi was dressed or 
possibly had decided that if he didn't see it, he could somehow make it 
go away.

     Kasumi brought Ranma his breakfast and smiled at him.  A hungry 
smile.  The kind Ranma usually saw on Shampoo when she was naked in the 
bathtub with him.  The kind Ukyou and Makoto were starting to give him 
all the time.  He'd seen Akane looking at him and Ryouga like that too 
now.  He tried to casually check her for head injuries, while Nabiki and 
Akane stared at him.

     "Ranma, why are you playing with Kasumi's hair?"  Akane asked, with 
her voice tight with supressed emotion.  

     Kasumi smiled.  "If you want to help me with my hair, feel free to 
come up to my room after breakfast.  I think I'm going out tonight, and 
I want to look my best."

     Akane winced slightly and Nabiki nodded to her.  "I told you that's 
what's going on."

     Ranma blinked.  "What?"

     "Go help her with her hair, Ranma.  We'll explain after you finish.  
Akane and I have to have a little talk with Daddy..."  Nabiki said.

     Ranma soon found himself up in Kasumi's room, trying to help her to 
decide what to do with her hair.  This took several hours, in fact, as 
she couldn't quite make up her mind.  By the time this was over, Ranma 
was struggling with a strong state of arousal, as he had spent a long 
time in close proximity to her, and she looked good.  Really good. Her 
figure was remarkably pefect, given she didn't seem to get much 
exercise.  Some people have all the luck, he guessed.    Why is she 
acting so strange, he wondered.

     Finally, Kasumi had settled on just brushing her hair and washing it 
thoroughly.  What made him really wonder what was going on was that she 
had invited him to join her.  Desperately, he begged off and went looking 
for Akane.

      He found her sitting on her bed, staring out the window.  Ranma 
came in, closed the door, came over and grabbed her.  She blinked, and he 
kissed her ferociously.  They necked for a few minutes and finally she 
pulled back, breathing hard.  "Not tonight, Ranma. "

     "You had plans to be with..."  The words didn't come easily to him.  
A sort of semi-stable quasi-arrangement had worked itself out.  Akane got 
him three days a week, Ukyou and Makoto got him three, and the other day 
was up to him.  Usually, he spent it recovering from the other six days.  
Today was one of Akane's days.  At least, that's what he remembered.

      "Family business."

     "Umm.  Should I go away then...I mean, or do you need my help?"

     "Very much..."  Akane blushed.  "I'm not sure how to say this..."

     "Just come out and say it."

     "Kasumi sufferes from an odd hormonal condition, you see.  Most of 
the time, she has a deficit of natural aphrodesiacs and acts like she's 
asexual and on valium at the same time.  One result of this is she has 
an irregular period.  Another result is that every so often, she surges 
the other direction and becomes incredibly horny.  It takes about twelve 
hours to build up.  By the time she peaks, she's ready to screw just 
about anything male.  She can't help herself.  Normally, Dr. Tofu takes 
care of her when she's like this, but the cycle is unpredictable, and he 
left town to visit his mother..."

     Ranma blinked, then suddenly realized why Dr. Tofu's glasses always 
fogged up when he was around Kasumi.  Ranma blushed.  "But...why me...I 
mean, doesn't she like older men?  Uh, I mean..."

      "We can't afford the potential humilation she could bring on 
herself.  What if she got pregnant or got some nutcase after her?  You're 
the only one we can trust to sate her urges.  Ideally, you can just use 
the shiatsu techniques...but if things get desperate..."   Akane sighed.  
"We'd ask Ryouga, but who knows where he is right now..."

     "I just...I mean...you're not gonna get mad are you?  Umm...I mean, 
I don't want to cheat on you...Although I guess if you ask me to do this..."

      Akane clenched her fists for a moment, then relaxed them.  "You've 
got to, Ranma.  Just make she sure she doesn't leave the house..."

     "Wait, if you know the technique...why don't you do it?"

     "It only works if a male does it.  Don't ask me why...I'm not 
expert.  Daddy can show you how...Well, Nabiki can show you.  
Daddy...isn't quite up to it..."

      Dinner had been an uncomfortable experience.  Akane had been 
staring at the wall.  Mr. Tendo looked like some kind of Zombie.  Nabiki 
had been hauling various kinds of sound and film equipment all over the 
house all day.  Ranma had a strong feeling this was gonna end up on late 
night Cinemax in a few weeks...

      The phone rang.  It was for Ranma.  Kasumi came over and kneeled 
next to Ranma to announce this, staring into his eyes, hungrily.  Ranma 
found himself trying to look somewhere on her that wouldn't arouse him 
too much, so he stared hard at her ear, with only an occassional glance 
down at her large, firm breasts that were taunting him with their 
closeness, daring him to grab them and rip off the flimsy black strips of 
cloth that enabled them to make some vague claim to modesty. 

       He tore himself away and answered the phone.  "Hello?"

     For a moment, there was nothing but heavy breathing on the other end 
of the line.  Ranma smiled nervously.  "Makoto-chan?"

      The heavy breathing turned into giggles.  "Hiya, Ranchan.  Just 
reminding you to bring the cat costume tomorrow night."  

     Ranma blushed.  "Do I have to?"

     "Well, unless Akane wears you out so much tonight...but I think 
you'll bounce back in time."  Makoto's voice was bright and cheery.  
Ranma wondered what she would think if she knew what he was going to be 
doing tonight.  He couldn't quite find the strength to tell her.

      "Um.  I won't forget...I need to go now.  I have to go eat before 
it gets cold."

      Makoto laughed faintly.  "We'll see you tomorrow, Ranchan!  Love you!"

      He whispered quietly, "You too Mako-chan," and hung up.  Time to 
face my doom.

      Soon after this was where we came in, with Ranma dragged upstairs 
and into Kasumi's room.  She pulled him over to the bed and sat him down 
on it, then sat in his lap.  He instinctively wrapped his arms around 
her as she pressed her lips to his, her tongue sliding inside his mouth.  
At first he tried to apply the shiatsu technique, but was unable to 
concentrate because she was stripping him naked, which made applying the 
points difficult.  Then after a little while, he decided it would just be 
easier to make love to her.

      Slowly, his nervousness ebbed away, replaced by increasing desire.  
Soon, they were both naked, tangled in the sheets, his mouth pressed to 
her right breast, licking it frenziedly, while she writhed at his 
ministrations, moaning loudly.  He took his guilt at what he was doing 
and shoved it off to the back of his mind, putting every ounce of 
knowlege had had gained over the past weeks to work.  

      The first warning that anything might be wrong came after their 
first orgasm.  As he finally came, she seemed to glow for a moment and 
her face was covered with a look of total ecstasy.  After that, she 
became more agressive.  Instead of simply letting him make love to her, 
she started to roam her hands across his body, leaving a wake of tingly 
sensation everywhere.  She touched his manhood and it throbbed, then she 
began to stroke it, faster and faster.  The second orgasm was better than 
the first and brought a brighter glow and more ecstasy to her face.  

      As he lay back in the sheets for a moment, she clambered over him 
and pressed her love mound down over his face.  "Lick me" she commanded, 
and he did so.  Meanwhile, she began to suck on his asoko.  He moaned and 
came into her mouth swiftly.  Before it could unarouse more than a 
little, she started sucking again and he came a second time.  He could 
tell she was on the verge of coming too.  He however, had a harder time 
keeping from getting messy than she did.  When she turned and got some 
tissues to help him wipe his face, he saw she had glowing blue tatoos on 
her forehead.

       For a moment, fear swept through him, but then she kissed him 
again and it ebbed away.  After that, he lost track of what was going 
on.  Orgasms just blend together after the first ten or so.

      Unbeknownst to either of them, General Fabioite and his favorite 
Condominum, Condominum Trojan were watching.  Condominium Trojan said, 
"Tsk.  They didn't use protection.  She's going to end up pregnant, mark 
my words."

      "Hmm.  That orgasm crystal of hers looks very powerful.  I'm going 
to seduce her and take it.  You get rid of the boy."

      Condominium Trojan nodded.  "He really needs to learn to use 
protection."  He crashed through the wall, ending any pretense of 
subtlety and wrecking the camera Nabiki was filming this with.  Nabiki 
moaned in dissappointment as the live feed to her room cut out.  She 
sighed and turned on Cinemax instead.  Wasn't much of a difference.

     Ranma looked up and saw a huge muscular man wearing clothing made 
out of condoms.  Do I fight him or try to finish this next orgasm first, 
he wondered.

     Kasumi casually fired an energy blast, vaporizing Condominium 
Trojan.  Ranma blinked, then felt himself starting to come and lost track 
of reality again.

     General Fabioite decided to take a more subtle approach.  He slipped 
around to where they wouldn't be able to see him.  As Kasumi came, he 
reached inside her and pulled out her Orgasm crystal.  Oddly, it looked 
more like a small reddish crystal.  Whatever.  He rippled his muscles and 
vanished.

****************************************************************************

     General Fabioite kneeled before Dark Queen Urd.  "Here is the orgasm 
crystal you requested." 

     She examined it.  "This isn't an orgasm crystal!  It's a heart 
crystal!  Put it back and get me the ORGASM crystal!"

     He bigsweated and complied.

**************************************************************************

     On his return, Kasumi and Ranma were up against the wall, with 
Kasumi's back to the wall and Ranma hanging from her neck, licking her 
groin, while she stroked his manhood and his back.  Fabioite was amazed 
by this display of strength and coordination.  He put the heart crystal 
back in Kasumi and pulled out...a mirror?

    He blinked and stuffed it back in, this time pulling out a rainbow 
crystal.  "Hey, I thought there were only seven of these..."

    Soon, Fabioite was surrounded by crystals, mirrors, swords, irons, 
anvils, snow globes, hatchets, rocks, lead, very small churches, hats, 
wheelbarrows, lucky stars, green shamrocks, and blue diamonds.  "Where is 
that stupid ORGASM CRYSTAL!?!?!"

    Kasumi shushed him and went back to sucking on Ranma's spear of love. 
They were now hanging from the ceiling in a pose that isn't normally even 
possible with only three dimensions, although it is favored by the Squid 
People of Episilon Eridani.

      Finally, right as Kasumi came for about the fiftieth time that 
night, Fabioite extracted Kasumi's orgasm crystal.  She sighed and 
collapsed into Ranma's arms and they both fell off the ceiling.  Ranma 
spotted Fabioite.  "Hey!"

      Fabioite smiled.  "See ya!"  He rippled his muscles and vanished 
right as Ranma leaped at him.

      Well, that does solve one problem.  Ranma then noticed the huge 
mess in the room.  "What the...?"

**********************************************************************

     Sailor Mercury finished scanning the room.  "Well, Ranma, it looks 
like all 524 of the known forms of physical manifestations of 
metaphysical aspects of the human soul are here.  Except one."

     "Uhh...what?"  Ranma, Ukyou, and Akane blinked.  

     Nabiki nodded.  "General Fabioite took her orgasm crystal, right?"

     "How do you know that?"

     Nabiki blushed.  "Umm...a lucky guess?"

     Ranma frowned.  "You were taping it.  IF YOU TAPE ME HAVING SEX WITH 
SOMEONE ONE MORE TIME, I'LL..."

     Ukyou frowned.  "You were having sex with Kasumi?"

     Ranma laughed nervously.  "It's a...long story."

     Mercury said, "We won't be able to recover it unless we can find 
where Dark Queen Urd lives.  However...we can start putting all these 
other things back inside Kasumi.  Okay, let's get to work."

     It only took about two hours, and even then, Kasumi's liver lug nut 
remained under the bed, unnoticed.  The kitchen sink of the soul was the 
really hard one to get back in.

****************************************************************************

     Dark Queen Urd cackled.  One orgasm crystal down.  Two more to go.  
"You have done well, Fabioite.  Let's go make out til we pass out."  They 
did.

*****************************************************************************

<In the Command Center>

     Dark Queen Urd danced a jig.  "One third of the way to victory!  Wahoo!"

     Dark Queen Skuld frowned.  "All my brilliant plans just don't seem 
to work out.  WAAAAHHH!!!!!"

     Akemi smiled.  "I have a PERFECT idea.  Let me share it with you, 
Dark Queen Skuld."  She led Dark Queen Skuld off, smiling.  Time to put 
the master plan into action...

     Shampoo stormed in.  "Shampoo want...I mean, I WANT..."

     Biles sighed.  "Yeah, yeah.  You want sex, you want sex, you want 
sex.  Is that all you ever want?"

     "Can't I have real, satisfying sex with someone attractive?  Even 
Nabiki got some!"

     "No she didn't."  Dark Queen Urd said.  "Unless you count that scene 
with you..."

     "What?  She lied to me!  She said she got to sleep with Ranma, and 
Mousse, and..."

     "Yeesh, the real you is even more gullible than..."  Biles started 
to say.

     Shampoo whacked him in the head with a mace.  "If I don't get some, 
I'll..."

     "Have to use your bonbori as a dildo?"  Dark Queen Urd asked.  
"Look, go on out and I'll make sure you get some."

     "This is another trick!"

     "You'll never know if you don't try."

     Shampoo went outside.

     "So how angry will she be with us after this?"  Biles asked.

     "Very."

***************************************************************************

     It was another lazy day at the Nekohanten.  Shampoo could have kept 
up with what few customers there were in her sleep.  Heck, dead she could 
have done it, but despite the requests of CASKET, she wasn't going to be 
dying yet, anyway.  

     Mousse was also hard at work in the kitchen, cooking food.  A young 
man, somewhere around twenty in age came in the front door, dressed in a 
delivery uniform.  His name tag said, Chiba Mamoru.  He came over to 
Cologne.  "You're the youma...I mean woman in charge of this restaurant?"

      Cologne whapped him in the head with her staff.  "Yes.  Shampoo, 
come over here."

      Shampoo bounced over.  "Yes, Great Grandmother?"  She looked Mamoru 
up and down.  He's kinda cute.  

      "Shampoo, help this young man bring in the Ramen shipment."

     Shampoo nodded.  She and Mamoru began unloading crates from the 
truck.  "So you people actually had to get a rush delivery of ramen?"

     Shampoo nodded.  "Last few days very busy.  We needed new Ramen 
right away."

     They hauled the first two crates right past Mousse, who looked over 
nervously.  He was busy adding passion spice, aphrodesiacs, blue velvet, 
concentrated alcohol, and a few dozen amazon secret love potions to 
Shampoo's lunch, which it was almost time for her to eat.  Soon, she will 
finally be mine, he thought.

     He cackled with delight, managing to dump a pot of cooking ramen on 
himself.  He screamed loudly and ran off to get towels to dry himself 
off, howling all the way. 

     Long before he was ready to return, Mamoru paused in the kitchen, 
seeing the fresh, delicious looking ramen.  "Hey, can I grab a bite?  
That looks really good!"

      Shampoo smiled.  "You hard worker.  Go ahead.  That Shampoo's 
lunch, but she has plenty to share."

      Mousse returned, right as they had forks full of ramen in their 
mouths and were about to bite down.  He screamed, "No, don't do it!"

      Shampoo took the bite, just to spite Mousse, while Mamoru blinked, 
but ate it before he could think not to.

      Mousse howled.  Cologne whapped him on the head to get him to be 
quiet.  "What, you tried to poison Shampoo's ramen?"

      "Yes.  No...I mean..."

      Mamoru swept Shampoo into his arms and kissed her passionately, 
then picked her up and instinctively headed for her bedroom.

     "Mousse, you idiot!"  Cologne whap whap whapped Mousse in the head.  
"Just tell me you didn't use Love Potion #9 in there..."

     "Okay, I didn't use Love Potion #9."

     Cologne whapped him in the head.  "NEVER LIE TO ME LIKE THAT!" 

     By now, the moaning had already started from Shampoo's room.  
Cologne sighed.  "Let's go break this up."

     They soon reached Shampoo's room.  She was half naked on the bed, 
working on getting all naked.  She and Mamoru were kissing like crazed 
mongeese.  Cologne sighed.  "I'll have to use the anti-passion point."  
She was about to poke Mamoru when Shampoo shouted, "KAMEHAMEHA!"   A huge 
glowing ball of energy struck Cologne, hurling her into orbit.  Her last 
words as she passed through the roof were, "I never should have let that 
girl go to that Dragonball Z marathon..."

      Mousse shrank back.  Shampoo moaned.  "Mousse...take me...both of 
you...oh...yes...yes.."  Mousse enthusiastically joined in.  If it meant 
sharing...so be it.

      Soon, their passion was rising to its peak.  Shampoo had never been 
so thoroughly made love to in her life by anyone non-disgusting.  

      Thus, it was only just that right before she orgasmed, the ceiling 
splintered, and Nuku-Nuku crashed down from the sky onto her, stilling 
clinging to the twisted metal fragments of her bicycle, knocking all 
three of the people in the bed unconscious.

      There was much rejoicing.  Yaah.  No one ate Sir Robin's minstrels, 
though.

******************************************************************************




John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu      bailesu@komodo.hacks.arizona.edu  
http://www.hacks.arizona.edu/~bailesu/falcon.html 

     P-chan ran across the field and hopped into Akane's arms.  She
snuggled her little pet.  "I love you, P-chan, especially with a little
apple in your mouth and that special sauce Ukyou makes."  They cooked
P-chan over an open fire and made special okonomiyaki out of him.  And
all was good.

--Draft of Lemon Sherbet, Episode 12