Subject: Re: [FFML] [Fanfic] The Nameless Sequel, Ep. 4
From: Sebastian Weinberg
Date: 10/18/1996, 6:03 AM
To: Fanfic Mailing List


On Thu, 17 Oct 1996, Mike W. Loader wrote:

:    Finally finished this, and sent it out to the prereaders. They
: responded with one voice.
:    "We're gonna kill you for this...."

Ooooh, this promises to be good.


: EPISODE 4 - Ask Not For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll...

Aha, so we'll learn the passion dust victims' identities now,
right?


: Ranma: (eying the perforated cap) Good shot for an orangutang.
: 
: Saburo: Oh, apes have very keen vision.
: 
: Ranma: Yeah?
: 
: Saburo: Yup. Besides, I think he's got a laser sight on that rifle. 
: Looks like Darwin was right...

Orangutans rule Oook!


: (A beaten up, heavily duct-taped Pinto swerves past, careening 
: drunkenly. Greyish-pink tentacles extend from the rear windows.)
: 
: Person in Car: Aagggghh...it's got the wheel! Do something!
: 
: Person in Car 2: Hang on, Saburo! I'm gonna try to knock it out! 
: MOKO TAKABISHA!
: 
: (Blue light flares from inside the car.)
: 
: Person in Car:  Gah! You got squid ichor all over me!
: 
: Person in Car 2: Sorry....
: 
: (It turns the corner. Shampoo and Ukyo stare after it.)

I *love* the way you often let the different groups of characters
cross each others' path like this.  The humourous potential is
endless.


: Genma: (seemingly appearing from nowhere) A true martial artist 
: never backs down from any challenge, no matter how ridiculously 
: suicidal it may be. You'll stick with this job, son. After all, where 
: would your uncle Kenhi be if he had refused to battle the Ivory 
: Yodeling Demon of Nanking?
: 
: Ranma: Alive, from what I understand.

The basic gag was kinda predictable, but you keep putting yet
another punchline on top of it in the next lines.  That's another
technique I love (Called "milking" a gag, I understand).


: Soun: Even better, Saotome-kun. I'm getting married!
: 
: (Facefaults all around.)

Ah, #1 is out.  Let's just hope it's Kodachi or else the others'
jaws will smash the floor with the next facefault.


: Akane: (uncertain) Uh, Daddy? To who?

Shouldn't that be "whom"?  But then, Who'm I to correct a native
speaker?


: Kasumi: (sweetly, in flawless English) No, Mister Mulder, I haven't 
: been anywhere near Nevada. Or an "Area 51". (giggles) Aliens? 
: How silly. What? Yes, I suppose the truth is out there....all right. 
: Bye! (she hangs up and turns to Akane) Is something wrong, Akane-
: chan?

Wrong show.  Kasumi firmly belongs into the Twilight Zone.


: Kasumi: I was thinking of having a glazed ham for the main 
: dish....and bacon-ball appetizers.....and maybe I'll get Shampoo 
: to do a pork ramen....

Not quite over her pork fixation, yet, eh?  Let's see how Ryouga
handles that when he comes back.


: Akane: Uh, Ranma...where are you going?
: 
: Ranma: I'm gonna go find out who I need to beat up.
: 
: Akane: Right. And how are you going to do this?
: 
: Ranma: Ummm.........ask?
: 
: Akane: Ranma, sometimes you make Kuno look like Stephen 
: Hawking.

Well, to save his reputation, I should remark that in his world
that method of problem solving ususally works. 


: Kodachi: Meditation?
: 
: Cologne: Yes. A highly spiritual focusing used to relax the body 
: and mind.
: 
: From the Back Room: In the name of the Moon, I shall punish you!

Uh, *this* revelation (and the ones following) is where you show
just how much of a *real* sick puppy you are.


: Nabiki: I can't believe I passed out like that. Twice.

Neither could I, BTW, but it was funny, so I didn't comment.

: Nabiki: It's all right. I just had two thoughts hit me at once. First 
: of all, "Kodachi? This is horrible!". Secondly, "We just married 
: into half the Kuno fortune!". It was a bit too much to handle at the 
: same time.

Heh, *that* sounds like Nabiki.


: Nabiki: I suppose...(she looks at the floor)...being in love has really 
: made Kasumi sloppy. There's flour or sugar or something on the 
: floor.

Uh-oh...


: (She reaches down and gets some on her finger, and lifts it up.)

UH-OH!


: Nabiki: (sniffing it) It doesn't smell like eith....(her eyes glaze a 
: bit, and then come back into focus. She stares at Akane, a strange 
: expression moving across her face.)
: 
: Akane: Nabiki? Something wrong?
: 
: Nabiki: (staring at Akane) Wrong? Uh, no. Nothing. Gotta go, um, 
: shower. Yes. Cold shower.
: 
: Akane: I'll come with you. I'm a bit dirty myself...
: 
: Nabiki: (sweating) Uh....no, I don't think....
: 
: Akane: (puzzled) Are you sure? I can soap your back for you...
: 
: Nabiki: (gulping, blushing madly) Uh, got a appointment in town 
: with a, um, fruit merchant, uh, yeah, gotta run, bye!
: 
: (She runs out. Akane stares after her.)
: 
: Akane: I wonder what all that was about.

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Sebastian (breathing in again)
-- http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/ Comics reviewed.
-- There's no future in time travel.