This is the final version which is going to the RAAC Tomorrow, just wanted
to put it out one last time.  Thanx for reading.




Let's see, this is where I tell you this is my first fanfic, and that you
should go easy on me...I don't think so.  I'd prefer it if you tear this
thing apart instead of going easy on it if it sucks.

Everything contained within is copyrighted to the great Takahashi-sama, I
have no permission to use her works and gain no profit from writing this.  Any 
comments would be greatly appreciated(I love praise but I can also take
flames, constructive criticism never hurts). Send comments to
ranchan@mail.accent.net or e0fq7z7a@credit.erin.utoronto.ca. 
================================================================
P-P-P-chan productions proudly presents...

Lost Love.
A Ranma 1/2 story.                       
By:Lucas Muzzatti


"Fanime, as you like it."
=================================================================

   "I love you Akane."  

   Four simple words, but said with sincerity. 
Why had he denied her those words?  For that matter why
had he denied them to himself?  He had always loved her. 
Sure she had her rough spots, she had a hair trigger temper, 
was always hitting him and was so jealous it hurt, yet through 
all that he still loved her.  But now she would never hear those 
words...because Akane Tendo was dead.  She was dead and he
could find no-one else to blame but himself.  He looked at the
picture  of Akane again and then held it tightly to his chest. 
It happened five years ago today, June 3rd.

   As she had done so many times before Akane ran off on another
of her fool errands.  She just up and left, leaving only a note
saying that she would be home shortly and for the family to 
not worry.  As always Soun and Genma had shoed him out the
door to find her.  "It is your duty as her fiancee." they had said. 
So off he went, grumbling all the way along about how she was
so stupid and look at all the trouble she was making him go 
through. 

   When he finally caught up to her Akane was very
angry at being followed, but saw that there was nothing she 
could do.  She explained that a village had called the dojo asking 
for help.  There was a creature that was causing havoc in their town.  
And of course, Akane had felt it was her duty as a martial artist to 
protect those who could not fight for themselves.  She had also wanted 
to show everyone she was capable of doing this on her own, without Ranma.  

   He had laughed at her, laughed at her story.  Later when 
they came face to face with the monster Ranma was no longer 
laughing.  It had been a huge thing.  They confronted it and the 
battle had been long and hard.  Both Ranma and Akane were
badly hurt, still they continued on unabated.

   Finally Akane made the mistake of getting too close to the 
creature.  It grabbed her and tossed her into a nearby pond. 
Ranma dove in after her.  She knew Akane could not swim
and that she had to save her.  As she reached Akane 
and was about to grab her hand she was pulled away by the
creature.  Ranma fought desperately to free herself from the 
monster's grip the whole time Akane calling her name begging 
for her to help.

It was then that Akane sank below the surface.

   For the first time in her life Ranma felt true fear.  She 
mustered up  enough strength and broke free of the 
monsters grip and dove underwater after Akane. 
Again, just as she was about to grab Akane's hand she was 
grabbed from behind by the creature.  And she was held there,
mere inches from being able to grab hold of her fiancee's hand. 
Whenever one of them would lunge for the other the creature 
would pull her back just far  enough that neither could 
grab hold.

   Ranma could feel her lungs burning and knew that Akane must
need air even more.  She was panicking now, she could not
reach Akane nor could she break free of the creature.

   Akane must have seen this fear in Ranma's eyes because hers
softened.  Ranma saw a look of forgiveness and understanding 
appear on Akane's face and knew this was the end.  Just then
Akane succumbed to the maddening urge to breath, exhaling 
all the air that remained in her lungs and taking in a lungful of 
water.  It was then that Akane realized exactly what was 
happening to her.  She panicked.  She flailed around, but did
nothing more then take in more water and exhaust any oxygen
that she still had in her body.  As time passed her struggling 
slowed down.  The flailing ceased.  And the light went out of 
Akane's eyes.

Ranma screamed.  

   Had they been on dry land the scream would have been so
intense that it could have toppled mountains.  But there, under 
water, no-one could here it.  It was such a useless gesture.  

   She fought the monsters grip even harder now.  The creature
effortlessly dragged her to the surface and threw her onto dry 
land.  Ranma rose to her feet and charged the creature.  It 
effortlessly batted  her away.  She then attempted to charge up a
chi attack.  But her chi was always based on confidence.  
Right now she had none.  She was full of despair.  <I can't do 
anythi...wait!> she thought.  <The Shi shi Houkoudan ... Yes,
I can do that!>.  Suddenly she focused on her feelings of despair, 
she felt the power well up inside her, never before had she been 
able to focus so much power.  

  She concentrated all her strength into the blast which erupted into a 
column above her head before it came crashing down around her forming 
concentric circles of energy which emanated out from the point at 
which she stood.  The blast tore everything that surrounded her apart 
as it sped towards the creature.  As it made contact she could not see 
the beast but was sure that it had been incinerated in the blast.  However, 
as the smoke cleared, she saw the monster standing there unharmed with an 
evil grin on it's face.  The massive blast which she had generated had 
been absorbed by the beast with little more effect than a feather 
hitting a freight train. Ranma saw red.  Again she tried to charge the beast, 
but her legs fell out from under her.  She was spent.  All the strength 
had been sapped from her.  She was helpless.  The creature saw 
this, and  laughed.  A long mocking laugh.  Mocking the sorrow she 
now felt.  She could do nothing to stop it as it strode away. 
It disappeared into the newly risen fog, laughing all the while.  

And then it was gone.

   Ranma staggered to her feet. <Akane.> she thought.  <I gotta get Akane.>With 
that she dove into the water again.  Strength or no, air or no, she had to 
save Akane. 

   There was still a chance, wasn't 
there?  People had been revived after being under water for some 
time hadn't they?  

  It took her a while but she finally found Akane's
body and brought it to the surface.  Ranma did everything in her 
power to revive Akane.  As her despair grew she started shaking
Akane.  "Wake up you stupid tomboy!!!" she screamed.  
"Akane, don't do this to me!!...You can't die!!..." she pleaded.  "I need
you!!"  
no response.  "Dammit Akane, I love you!!"  Ranma began to sob.  
" Please...please don't die."  Akane's response was unending silence.

Akane was dead.

   The mere acceptance of this drove Ranma into hysterics, and before 
she was through she had laid waste to everything around her. 
Strength she had not had moments ago was transferred into 
raw ferocious power.  After the dust had settled she looked out 
upon the damage she had caused.  She did not feel any better, 
nor worse.  She felt nothing.


   Ranma was exhausted and full of despair.  
But she knew what she had to do.  She had to take Akane 
home...for the  last time.  The last action that she performed
before beginning her return trip was to boil water so that she
could change back to a boy.

   The trip back to the Tendo dojo was the most difficult he had ever 
taken.  He carried Akane's body as if she were some young child 
who had fallen asleep and was being taken to bed.  He did not 
stop once, not to rest, not to eat.  He ignored the looks he got
from the people he passed.  The trip could have taken days. 
Weeks.  Hours.  Ranma didn't know.  
Ranma didn't care.

   When he arrived back at the dojo he went straight to the 
backyard.  He stopped before the patio holding tightly 
onto Akane's still form.  Soun and Genma looked up 
joyously.  Finally their children were home and it seemed that
they had grown closer.  Then they saw the look in his 
eyes and they knew.  Kasumi dropped the plate that she had 
been holding, Nabiki and Genma stared slack jawed and Soun
began to wail.

   At that Ranma fell to his knees and began to sob.  He began
mumbling that it was all his fault and that he had dishonored
the family, he should have saved her, he loved her.  He 
pounded his fists on the ground and cried.  The Tendo's 
continued to look on in shock.  What had happened had yet to
sink in.

   At that moment a familiar figure came out into the yard. 
"Kasumi, did someone drop a plate?"  It was Ryouga.  He walked
onto the patio and  suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.  He 
saw the collective looks of sorrow on the faces of the inhabitants
of the dojo.  Then he saw Akane. His heart shattered.

   The next person he saw was Ranma.  The rage that grew in 
Ryouga was unparalleled and he launched himself at his 
friend/foe.  He was surprised when Ranma made no move to 
defend himself but did not think on it long.  If Ranma wasn't 
going to fight back all the better.  "Ranma, I'm going to kill you!!!" 
In all the times he had said it before he had never really meant it, 
but now was different, now Ranma deserved to die.

   He unleashed a flurry of attacks on Ranma that left him bruised and 
battered. On several occasions one could hear Ranma's bones 
breaking.  Every time Ranma was knocked down he would simply
get back up to take more of a beating.

   Finally when Ranma was unable to stand Ryouga prepared to 
strike the killing blow.  "Ranma," he said in a menacing tone, 
"now at the end of your life there is one thing I would like to 
know.  Why won't you fight back?  Why won't you fight for
your life?"

   "I don't deserve to live."  Ranma said it in such a resigned tone
one would think he was asking Ryouga to finish the job.  
He began to cry.  Ryouga was shocked.  "I failed Akane, 
I couldn't save her!  She was right there and I couldn't do 
a damn thing.  It's my fault that she's dead.  I should be dead
not her.  Ryouga...I loved her."  Ryouga was shocked doubly.
<He loved her?  B-b-but that would mean...>  His train of 
thought was again broken as Ranma spoke. The tone was 
unmistakable, he was begging. "Ryouga...please finish the job."

   Ryouga fell back, a look of pure shock on his face.  He was
actually begging Ryouga to kill him.  Ryouga faltered, his 
hatred leaked away to be replaced with the most heartfelt pity. 
His greatest foe, the reason why his life was a living hell, and he 
could find no hatred in his heart for him now.  At that instant he
finally allowed himself to realize something he had known for so 
long yet denied himself.  Ranma loved Akane, more importantly 
she had loved him back.  He knew that Ranma had done all that
he could.  Ranma had always laid his life on the line for Akane. 
No matter the cost to himself.  This realization was hard for him. 
Ryouga was confused and heartbroken, he lept from the yard 
and ran off, unable to face Ranma any longer.  Unable to face 
what he had almost done.

   The next few days went by slowly and painfully.  Ranma had 
been admitted to Dr. Tofu's clinic and was recovering from his
wounds.  Ryouga had beaten him up severely.  He would be 
bed ridden for several weeks.  His body would heal though, 
given time.  His heart was another matter.  His friends came to 
visit him, but he paid no attention to them.  For all intents and 
purposes they were not even there.  When the time for Akane's
memorial came he had to be dragged there.  He kept blathering
that he had no right to be there.  At the service he had sat in his
wheelchair, off to the side.  He cried the whole time.  Whenever
someone would come over to comfort him he pushed them away 
fiercely.  He didn't deserve pity.  Even Ryouga had shown 
up to pay his final respects.  Amazingly he had found the cemetery 
with no help at all.  

   Ranma had fully expected Ryouga to kill him, in fact he had hoped 
that he would.  Instead Ryouga did something remarkable,  he went to 
console Ranma.  "Ranma," he had said.  "I don't blame you for Akane's
death, I know you must have done everything in you're power to save
her."  What he said next started to break him up.  It was also a 
shock to Ranma, "I know you loved her, I also know she loved you. 
I was a fool to ever believe that she loved me.  I'm sorry that I
took so much of your precious time together away from you."  
Ryouga had to pause for a moment to compose himself, then continued.
"If there is anything you ever need from me just ask."

Before Ranma could formulate a response Ryouga turned and left. 
Ranma was awestruck to say the least. 


   Time passed slowly.  The Tendo family tried to pick up the pieces
and get back to living.  The loss of his youngest daughter had
affected Soun deeply.  He had fallen ill and was now laid up in bed. 
His wife was gone, and now his youngest daughter had gone to join her.
It was too much for the Patriarch of the anything goes school of 
martial arts to handle.


   Back at Dr. Tofu's clinic Ranma was recovering quickly from his wounds.
He had always been a quick healer.  <Why?> he thought, <Couldn't 
I have recovered quickly enough to be of any use to Akane.>   
"WHY COULDN'T I SAVE HER!!!"  At this point Ranma had finally snapped.
It had all become too much for him to deal with.  He was useless now.
All his years of training and he had not been able to use any of 
those skills when he had needed them most.  Life was
not worth living anymore.

All Ranma's screaming had aroused Dr. Tofu from sleep and he had come
to find out what was wrong.  What he found was too shocking for words. 

   Ranma had completely torn the room which he was occupying asunder.  
Dr. Tofu ran and tried to subdue Ranma.  "Ranma, stop!" he screamed, 
"You'll hurt yourself!  Ranma calm down please!"  Ranma did not hear 
him, that or he chose not to heed his calls to stop. Ranma simply 
batted Tofu away.  He crashed into a cabinet which housed the sedatives 
he used to put the patients out when they were in too much pain.  He 
quickly grabbed a needle and filled it with the sedative.  Ranma was 
currently facing away from the doctor.  For all intents and purposes 
Ranma did not even know that he was there, he was caught in a blood rush. 
Tofu took this opportunity to jab the needle into Ranma's backside.
The effects should have been instantaneous, but Ranma was running on 
far too much adrenaline now.  What he perceived was pain, his first 
response was to remove the cause.  He turned and viciously backhanded 
the doctor in the head.  Tofu went reeling into the far wall where he 
slumped down, unconscious.  

   As the drugs began to kick in the red haze in front of Ranma's eyes began
to lift.  He saw what he had done.  "Wha..what have I done?!?!"  He 
stared unblinking.  Their was a red stain on the side of Dr. Tofu's 
head.  As he looked down at his hand for the first time he saw a matching
stain.  "I've become a monster...a monster like the one that killed 
Akane."  Ranma was delirious.  He wanted to end his life.  No monster 
should be allowed to live.  He saw the means to fulfilling this
goal.  In the cabinet that the doctor had toppled over, light glinted 
off the blade of the doctors scalpel.  Generally used for dissecting 
specimens, Ranma intended to use it to dissect himself.

   He picked up the blade and studied it.  Not a very impressive looking 
tool, but it would suffice.  He raised the blade high and it glinted 
in the light of the room.  He was just about to plunge the blade into 
his heart when a voice rung out in his head.  

"STOP!!!!!"

He turned slowly around, and froze, for Akane stood there before him.  

Perhaps it was the drugs that coursed through his veins, perhaps it 
was his delirium, or perhaps it was a ghost.

"Ranma, what are you doing?"  Her voice seemed to echo through the 
room, reverberating through his body.

   Ranma was awestruck.  After several moments he again found his 
capacity for speech.  "Akane, I failed you.  I should have saved you."
He began to cry.  "I'm worthless.  I'm the one who should have died."

   "No!!"  Akane responded in a tone that silenced all reproach.  
"You did everything you could to save me.  It's not your fault.  
I should have never gone off like that in the first place.  It was 
more my fault than yours."  She too began to cry. 
"Ranma, look at yourself.  Look at what you've become.  The Ranma I 
knew would never give up.  The Ranma I knew would never do something so
dis-honourable."  She emphasized that last word. Ranma visibly winced.  
"The Ranma I knew would never back down from a challenge."  She stared 
at Ranma now, a look of pleading in her eyes. "Well I challenge you, I 
challenge you to continue living.  It'll be hard I know, but all challenges 
are.  Are you man enough to accept." She spoke those last words with a 
biting steel to her voice.

   Ranma looked up,  he stared into Akane's eyes.  He stared for a long 
time  "I.......I accept your challenge." He finally managed before he 
broke eye contact.

"I'm glad." Akane said.  She smiled at him.  

   "Akane?"  Ranma queried.  She focused on him again.  "Akane...I lo..."  
He was silenced as Akane placed her hand over his mouth.  Strangely 
enough it felt warm and solid.

"Shhhh."  She hushed him.  "I know."  She paused for a moment.  "I do too."

It was then that the drugs finally took effect and Ranma lapsed into 
unconsciousness.

End part one
=============================================================================
Endnotes.  I wrote this a long time ago,  I don't remember why, something
about reading allot of Ranma is dead fics, Akane deals with it.  I hadn't
seen many of the reverse, so this came to my head.  Originally slated to be
something like a six pager this story started to take on a life of it's own.
I have been mulling over what was to be done with this fic when I decided
that I could put what I had out as part one and work on part two when I had
the time.  At this point I'd like to thank a few people who helped me along.
First I'd like to thank my friend and co-founder of P-P-P-chan productions
Paul Ervi, soon to be a member of the FFML, why thank him?  It looks good.  
I'd also like to thank Richard D. Lawson who did the original posting of 
this story to the FFML for me. Next thanx to J. Austin Wilde who preread the 
story and gave me good feedback, I'd also like to thank Kun-chan, who if 
she reads this will know that I modified a certain scene so that it would 
work better(I even used the line she suggested, hope that isn't plagiarism), 
thanx Kun-chan for the advice.  
Lastly I'd like to give a huge thanx to Chris Willmore, Chris, 
you gave me a review that warmed my heart, thank you.  Be here next time to see 
the conclusion of Lost Love.
===============================================================================

 

Ja ne!!

Ranchan

************************************************************************
Lucas "RANCHAN" Muzzatti
Science student at U of T     "Don't look at A-ZU-SA!!" Azusa Shiratori
ranchan@mail.accent.net
                 
                 Member of the Church of Ryoga:
   Protector of Akane while Ryouga's Lost and Ranma's not Around

                 Member of the Church of Azusa:
 High priest, keeper of Kawaii and writer of the 12 commandements of 
                              Kawaii.

Join now, and you get to give up a treasured object of your very own to
                the Goddess Azusa!  Or she'll kill you!
************************************************************************