ALL GLORY AND ALL CREDIT TO RUMIKO TAKAHASHI AND ALL PARTIES WHO
DESERVE DUE CREDIT.
RANMA 1/2 (LEMON BITS)
Half and Half : Ranma times two!*
*WARNING*CAUTION*READ BEFORE STARTING STORY*
(This story operates on the assumption that Ranma's secret is still sort of a secret. His
classmates and other ordinary people don't know his secret. Alternate Ranmaverse if you will)
Part One
(It is a special day at Furinkan High School. Today, the
annual festival and fair of all the departments is in full
swing. The Arts department is staging its own production
of "The Monkey King" while the Home Economics classes
have been whipping up a batch of goodies. The Science
department is proudly showing off its homemade landmines
and improved choloroform gas while the Sports department
is roughing it up in the field and in the dojo. Akane and
Ranma are touring each exhibit one by one.)
Akane : Wow! Ranma, look at these dresses! The Fashion students are really something!
Ranma : (looking unimpressed at the assortment of dresses with low-cut bosoms) Hmph.
Akane : What's wrong? Don't think you'll look good in them?
Ranma : WHAT?! Keep it down, stupid!
Akane : I'm just kidding! Ranma, you're such a dope sometimes.
Ranma : What makes you think I'll wear a dress, huh?
Akane : Not in your normal form, idiot! In your girl body! Come to think of it, you'd really
look good in one of these dresses.
Ranma : HEY!! I'm a guy, okay?!
Akane : Ha ha ha ha ha! Can't you take a joke? (walks closer to the Fashion exhibits)
Sayuri : Akane! Come take a look at this dress!
(Akane examines a blue dress, noting the satiny feel of
silk. She blushes slightly when she sees the slit on both
sides of the dress, the better to show the legs off. Sayuri
notices Akane's blush and she laughs.)
Sayuri : The better to catch guys with, Akane. (leans closer and whispers in her ear) If you
really wanted to catch Ranma's attention, why not buy this dress?
Akane : (whisper) What!? What makes you think I want Ranma anyhow?
Sayuri : (whisper) Don't be coy, Akane. Anemi and the girls know. (normal voice) Anyway,
I'll sell it to you cheap. Only two thousand yen.
Akane : No thanks, Sayuri. Hey, are you still up for the slumber party?
Sayuri : Yes! Tonight, at your place, seven p.m.? All of us are coming!
Akane : That's great!
Sayuri : Let's hope that P-Chan will be there, too. If you can find him, that is.
Akane : I'll try my best to find him.
Fashion Teacher : Hey, quit dawdling and come help me, Sayuri! (Sayuri waves to Akane)
Ranma : Well, these seem almost like the last of them. Let's go home. I'm starving!
Akane : (waving goodbye to Sayuri) What was that?
Ranma : I said, these must be, like, the last of them. I'm hungry and I want to go home.
Akane : No!
Ranma : Why not?
Akane : The map here (waves it) says that there's one more exhibit just around the corner.
Ranma : One more measly, crummy...ooof!
Akane : (removing her elbow from Ranma's side) Why are you so insensitive? Give them,
whoever it is, a chance!
Ranma : By the way, who is it?
Akane : (looking hard at the map) It...doesn't say. It just says `66'. That's the last of the
exhibits.
Ranma : Yeah, yeah. Let's get it over with.
(As the two round the corner it seems as if the brightness
and the cheer of the atmosphere suddenly reversed itself
and turned into darkness and gloom. No lights were on
in this corridor, only candles lit the way to the Exhibit 66.)
Akane : This is creepy! (itches to stay close to Ranma but restrains herself)
Ranma : Yeah. Reminds me of somebody, though.....
(The two halt as they see Gosunkugi sitting behind a booth
with the words `Voodoo Items' on the sign. Various puppets
hang from frayed bits of cord under the sign, dangling above
trinkets and bottles of potions. He stands up and looks forlornly
at them. It seems as if nobody had visited his stand since he had it
set up. The counter beside the stand stood at a grand total of zero.)
Gosunkugi : H-hello, Akane!
Akane : Umm...you're Gosunkugi, right?
Gosunkugi : (thinking) She spoke to me! She actually spoke to me!
Ranma : Hey, weirdo! Watcha got over there?
Akane : (low voice) Be polite, stupid!
Ranma : (sotto voice) Are you forgetting that he put me in a pit full of hungry c-cats? How
about that tiger?
(When Akane had no answer, Ranma walked up to the
stand and scanned it. Mallets, nails, various potions,
candles and matches...all of it seemed like junk. Ranma
spends some time looking through the paraphenalia, picking
and discarding items as he listens to Gosunkugi's speech.)
Ranma : (picks up an ornament) What's this?
Gosunkugi : That amulet is supposed to take your warts away.
Ranma : Right. (about to toss it back down but halts when he sees Akane's glare. He slowly
sets it back on the table)
(The candles flicker out but Gosunkugi produced a flashlight
from his pocket. Akane politely looks through the junk that
Ranma had looked at. Ranma picks up a bottle containing
purple liquid.)
Ranma : Hey, what's this? Cologne?
Gosunkugi : That's a bottle of Nullifier, Blend 122. It's supposed to cure curses, illnesses, and..
Ranma : Yeah, yeah. Just more of your jun..I mean, your stuff. Hmph. Supposed to cure
curses and.....(double takes) Did you say...cure curses?
Akane : Curses?
Gosunkugi : Why, yes I did. But it's pretty old stock and.....
Ranma : Can it really cure curses? Can it?
Gosunkugi : Just follow the directions.
(Ranma is holding the bottle and reading the
instructions on its side.)
Ranma : Hey, it's in Chinese!! I can't read that!
Gosunkugi : Did I forget to mention that it's from the Baiyan-Kalan Range, Qinghai province
of China? Apparently it was a tribal treasure of some sort. Now, it's a family
heirloom.
Akane : How did your family get possession of such an important object?
Gosunkugi : My father was given it by a man. More, I cannot tell.
Ranma : Well, how much for it?
Akane : Ranma! Don't tell me you really buy into that stuff?
Ranma : (sotto voice) Hey, I'll try anything once! I want to be free of this curse, Akane.
Gosunkugi : (flashlight shining under his face) You can have it, if you want. I don't really
think it will have much effect after all these long years. Besides, you people
were the only ones to visit my stand today. It makes me feel like I've
accomplished something with this little gesture of mine. (hand behind head)
Akane : Thank you, Gosunkugi. (bows, and jabs Ranma in the side.)
Ranma : T-thanks, man (sketches a short, quick bow)
Gosunkugi : (switches the flashlight off, plunging the hallway into darkness) Anytime.
(The darkness lasts only a few seconds and the lights come
back on in the hallway. Ranma and Akane are surprised,
and more than a little spooked, to see no sign of Gosunkugi
or his stand. It was almost as if he had disappeared.)
Akane : C'mon, Ranma. Let's get out of here.
Ranma : Yeah. Let's go.
(Half an hour later, Ranma and Akane are on their
way home. Ranma examining the bottle with much
interest, somehow keeping his balance on the fence
at the same time. He even went as far as to open
it and take a sniff of the contents.)
Ranma : Hmm...smells funny.
Akane : Hey, are you sure you want to use that thing?
Ranma : What if it can really cure me, Akane? Nullifier, Blend 122. Sounds pretty important.
If it sounds important, it has a good chance of being important.
Akane : How are you going to read the directions on it?
Ranma : I'm not. You go on home, Akane.
Akane : Why? What do you mean....oh. Nekohanten? I'm coming along too.
Ranma : Okay, if you want.
(The two reach the restaurant in short order and the both
of them walk in. The place is nearly full and they managed
to find a two-seater table. Shampoo flounces over and gives
Ranma a hug. Akane simply sipped at her tea, seeming to
pay no attention, but the tea cup shook with her effort not
to crush it into tiny bits.)
Shampoo : Ranma! Shampoo so happy see you! Shampoo go get ramen for Ranma! On house!
(she starts to leave but Ranma catches her apron corner)
Ranma : Could you also bring the old ghoul too? I wanna speak with....
(an expertly aimed chopstick shot out of the kitchen and landed
smack on the side of Ranma's head. Moving with incredible speed,
a short figure came out of the kitchen and stood at Ranma's side,
just in time to catch the chopstick as it fell. The diners clapped at
this incredible feat of skill and speed.)
Cologne : Who's an `old ghoul', sonny boy? (prods him with the stick)
Ranma : I...uh..take that back.
Cologne : I see my future son-in-law still needs a little ironing-out. Well, enough of all that.
What was it you wanted to see me about?
Ranma : It's about this. (fishes out the Nullifier and hands it to Cologne)
Cologne : (reading it) It's a Nullifier, Blend 122. My tribe used to have one of these. It was
old when I was just a young girl three centuries ago. I was told by a village elder
about its use but I forget what she had said. It has been so long, you know.
Anyhow, how did you get a hold of this? It is exclusive to the Bayan-Kalan Range
of the Qinghai province of China and it has never been duplicated outside of China.
Akane : We got it from Gosunkugi.
Cologne : Gosunkugi?
Ranma : He's some nerd at our school who thinks that magic is real and voodoo curses work.
Cologne : What's his background?
Akane : We don't know. Nobody knows, not even the teachers. Why do you ask?
Cologne : Oh, don't worry, dear.
Ranma : He said something about his father being given it by a man.
Akane : I'm not really following any of this. Can you explain it to us, please?
(Cologne contemplates that question for a few moments, then
she nods and hops up on a seat. She motions Akane and Ranma
close, so others wouldn't hear what she had to say.)
Cologne : Our tribe had suffering from a band of marauding tigers. Not a week would go by
without one of our tribe getting mauled or killed by these beasts. A travelling
sorceror by the name of X'ian Taolu managed to destroy each and every one of the
beasts. In gratitude, we gave him two of our treasures. One was this Nullifier, Blend
122. I don't remember the second item, but it was the most important of all.
Ranma : So....this is your Nullifier, then?
Cologne : Very possible.
Akane : But that would make the man who gave the Nullifier to Gosunkugi's father over three
hundred years old!
Ranma : Ahh, he was probably making up a bunch of stuff, y'know? I mean, who in the world
can live to be three centuries old? (Cologne coughs) I take that back. Why would
a complete stranger give a tribal treasure to Gosunkugi's father? Why not just keep
it, or use it? Or even sell it?
Cologne : You would be surprised to find out just how irrational our world is. Stranger things
have happened, and will happen again.
Ranma : What's that supposed to mean?
Cologne : Exactly what it means.
Ranma : Okay, whatever. What do the instructions say on the side?
Cologne : It says to use it while taking a bath in water that's neither hot nor cold. I assume that
means lukewarm water. Effects will occur after a few minutes. That's it.
Ranma : Alright!! I can give this one a try then, right?
Cologne : No. The elder told me its exact purpose and I wouldn't want my future son-in-law
to be exposed to unpredictable magic. Let me try and remember it before you use
it, boy. The water is the key.....
Akane : She's right, Ranma. Who knows what it would do?
Ranma : Oh, all right.
Cologne : Anyways, I'll get Shampoo to bring you two some ramen. On the house. (she leaves
and heads back into the kitchen, deep in thought)
(Shampoo comes out after a short while and places two
orders of ramen on the table. Ranma and Akane eat
their food and leave to walk back home.)
Ranma : (beside himself in elation) Hmm, hmmm, hmmm, what a beautiful day in the
neighbourhood..!
Akane : That ramen sure filled me up! I don't think I'll be having dinner tonight.
Ranma : (humming a tune in his head) In the album of my heart, they will keep like
new....What
was that Akane?
Akane : Never mind. Just keep singing that song.
Ranma : Okay! I..will..not...forget *this blue sky, I will not....forget *how my dream came
true...
(the two walk into the Tendo residence. Kasumi is drying
a new batch of clothes on the line. Soun and Genma are
playing go, each trying to outmaneuver the other. A bird
trills its song on the branch of a cherry blossom tree, which
overlooks a pond, where graceful carp swim. Nabiki is
watching TV, and Happosai...well, only God knows where
he is and He's not telling.)
Akane : I'm home! Kasumi, I don't need dinner tonight, I already ate. Nabiki?
Nabiki : Yes?
Akane : Did anyone call for me?
Nabiki : Yes. Sayuri called at about five. Said something about a slumber party and she would
be coming with Anemi.....and a two others.
Akane : (checks the time; it's five thirty.) Sounds fine to me. Thanks, Nabiki.
Nabiki : Anytime. (goes back to watching the program)
Soun : So, Akane. How was school today?
Akane : Fine, dad! There was a festival at school. All the different departments were showing
their stuff.
Ranma : Yeah, all of 'em. There was even a voodoo exhibit, by that Gosunkugi guy.
Genma : You don't say.....hmmmm.....gotcha, Tendo.
Soun : Hey, you....! Excuse me, Akane. (Soun turns back to the game)
Kasumi : Akane, could you come and help me make the treats for the slumber party?
Akane : I'd love to!
Ranma : (thinking) Lucky I'm not a girl, otherwise I would have to eat that stuff she calls food!
(Akane helps Kasumi make the sweets and bonbons
but Kasumi is careful, though in a tactfully polite way,
to cook all the items herself. Ranma is on the roof,
looking at the little bottle.)
Kasumi : There. That's the last of them, Akane.
Akane : Thanks, Kasumi!
(Akane walks out of the kitchen feeling like she had really accomplished
something. She felt on the top of the world, as if she could do anything
and succeed. Feeling a little feisty, Akane looks for Ranma.)
Akane : Ranma!
Ranma : (jumps down from the roof) Yeah?
Akane : C'mon, let's go workout in the dojo. Do a little sparring.
Ranma : Why? I've noticed you've been training more than usual....is it because you want to
challenge me?
Akane : It's just....we haven't sparred much lately...and...y'know.
Ranma : I don't know, but let's go anyways.
(The two head to the dojo. Akane cinches up her belt on her
gi and takes a ready stance. Ranma adopts the crane style and
sways slightly on the balls of his feet, his hands locked into the
crane fist.)
Akane : Stop showing off, Ranma! Honestly!
Ranma : (straightens out) I am not....whoah! (barely dodges a sidekick from Akane)
Akane : Sucker! Shouldn't have let your guard down, stupid!
Ranma : Oh, yeah? Try this on for size!
(Ranma launches into an attack routine of crane fist strikes and kicks
that keeps Akane on the defensive. Akane parries a punch with
one arm, dodges a sidekick, dodges a roundhouse kick and successfully
blocks Ranma's double-direction strike, where both hands attack each flank
simultaneously. She tries a snap kick at Ranma's face but he dodged out of
reach by swaying back on his feet. Ranma lunged and attempted to chop a
crane fist on Akane's neck but she blocked. Ranma faked with his other
hand and the moment Akane let her defenses down, to parry the expected
attack, Ranma had already tripped her with his legs. Akane went down
and Ranma quickly pinned her arms.)
Ranma : The match is over.
Akane : Not quite!
(She puts a foot into Ranma's midsection and kicks him off.
Ranma flips in mid-air and lands on his feet, unruffled. He
adopts his usual stance and runs toward Akane. Akane gets
up and launches a mid-air roundhouse kick at him. Ranma
rolls under the kick and catches Akane with his `shish-kebob'
maneuover. Akane loses her momentum and Ranma brings
her crashing unceremoniously onto the dojo floor. In a quick
and fluid motion, Ranma rolls Akane so that she's facing down
and he pins her arms behind her back while sitting on her legs.
Akane finds herself trapped for no matter how much she struggled,
she just couldn't break Ranma's pin.)
Akane : Okay..huff...you win.
Ranma : (gets up) Finally!
Akane : And I didn't even land a hit on you at all. You really are good, Ranma.
Ranma : You didn't stand a chance! (starts to preen himself) Why even bother to challenge
me, Akane? Even if you've got that brute strength working for you, I'm......huh?
(Akane was already halfway to the exit of the dojo. Ranma
suddenly realizes that he had gone too far in taunting Akane,
and he runs up to her. Her shoulders were slumped and
she looked downcast.)
Ranma : Hey. It was only a joke.
Akane : No, it's not a joke! I'm supposed to inherit the Tendo Dojo but my martial art skills
are lousy. If I can't defend the Dojo against a yaburi, then how am I supposed to
uphold the Tendo name, much less the Anything Goes Martial Arts School. I didn't
really want to tell you this but I've been training because I wanted to see how good
I was against you. Guess I wasn't as hot as I thought I was, huh?
Ranma : You held up pretty well....
Akane : No. You could have ended the match within a few seconds of starting it, but you just
wanted to play with me. I was trying my hardest, back there. I'm.....ashamed.
Ranma : Cheer up, Akane. I started training when you were playing with your dolls...there's
no need to feel ashamed. I swam across an ocean, fought and beat Shampoo a number
of times, beat the old ghoul a coupla times, learnt new techniques, beat up that Dojo
yaburi, stepped on the old lech a coupla times, fought off Mousse, Ryoga, Kodachi
and a whole bunch of others! I've been getting experience. If you keep fighting me,
I'm sure you'll improve. (drops an arm on Akane's shoulders)
Akane : (Akane looks up, surprised at Ranma's behaviour) R-really?
Ranma : Really. Now, let's try that match again......
(The two spar some more, to the same results, but Akane was starting
to improve. She could just feel it. Her awareness reached new
heights when she fought Ranma, because she had to be extra
alert for any unexpected attacks. She punched harder and kicked
swifter, in order to compensate for Ranma's uncanny speed.
After six more sparring matches, Akane called it a day. Sweaty
and smelly after a long day, especially after the sparring, Ranma
goes to his room and gets his bath stuff. He places the bottle of
Nullifier in the pail, with no intention of ever letting it get out of his sight.
He begins to fill the tub with hot water and he sits on a plastic chair.
With a tip of a bucket, he is transformed into Ranma-chan, who sits
there shivering. She pours more cold water on herself, making sure
that she washed every inch of herself. She lifts each of her breasts,
grumbling and muttering to herself as she pours the water under them.
When she was a guy, she never had to do this! The tub was almost full
of hot water and she turned the tap off. With a sigh, she lowers
herself into the tub and relaxes. Ranma sits there for long minutes,
soaking in the soothing heat, and he twirls the bottle of Nullifier around
on his fingers.)
Ranma : Surely this teeny bottle cannot cause much harm....oh well.
(he places it on the edge of the tub and begins to soap himself.
As he scrubs his back, he starts to wonder what it would be like
to be free of the curse...right now. Wonder changes to curiousity,
and curiousity quickly turns into temptation. The little bottle seemed
to beckon to him, seemed to invite him to pour its contents into the
bath. Ranma sat unmoving for quite a long time, thinking and weighing
the pros and cons of using something he didn't even know about. But
he is, by nature, stubborn and unwilling to wait. He waited until the bath
water had cooled to lukewarm, then he opened the bottle and slowly let a
single drop fall out. The purple liquid dissipated quickly. Ranma thought he
felt a slight tingle but he wasn't sure. Convinced that not enough Nullifier was
used, Ranma tips it just enough for another drop. Unfortunately, the bottle
slips from his grip and falls with a plop into the tub. Cursing, he flailed
blindly under the surface of the foam-covered water with his hands, searching
for the bottle. After three futile tries, he managed to get a hold of it and he held
it up. Where once was purple liquid, now only soapy water remained. The tingle
started even as his eyes widened in the realization of what he did. The sensation
felt like tiny needle pricks on the part of his body that was submerged in the
lukewarm water. The tingle quickly increased in intensity and Ranma tried to get out
of the bath. But his legs felt like lead and the water seemed as viscuous as
wet cement. He tried to call for help but nothing came out, just a strangled
croak. The tingling now probed the beginning of real pain, and Ranma
was helpless! Suddenly an explosion of light burst forth from the waters and
engulfed Ranma, delivering him into the realm of unconsciousness.)
Kasumi : Ice cream, everyone!
(all) : Okay!
Akane : Where's Ranma? He loves this flavor of ice cream.
Nabiki : Last I saw of him was when he went to take a bath. You know, he's been in there
awfully long.....
Kasumi : Oh, my. I hope there's nothing wrong. I'll go check on him!
Akane : Ahhh, (shoos Kasumi away) don't worry about him. Let's keep his share in the
freezer. He's bound to come out any moment now.
(Minutes pass by and soon an hour had elapsed. Still no sign of Ranma.
Kasumi turns to Akane.)
Kasumi : Akane, why don't you go check on Ranma?
Akane : Sure. Whatever you say. I hope nothing has happened....
(Ranma-chan woke up in the bath, feeling the cool water on her skin.
She found herself slumped in one corner of the bath, one
arm dangling over the edge and the other on her lap. She sat up
straight and examined herself for any injuries. She found none.)
Ranma-chan : What a stupid Nullifier! I guess Blend one-two-two didn't have the power to
change me back to normal. I gotta remind myself to have a word or two with
that nerd. Who'd ever believe in junk like that....magic potions...hah! All just
a bunch of hooey, if you ask me.
(She raises herself out of the tub. And falls straight back
on her butt, splashing a considerable amount of water out of
the tub. She rubbed her eyes once, then twice. Ranma was
right there at the other end of the tub. She was so shocked
that she couldn't even think.)
(Ranma awoke from unconsciousness and lay looking at the
bath ceiling for a long moment or two. He could feel the
cool water of the bath lapping at his body. Wait a minute....
cool water? He tentatively felt himself from head to toe,
making sure as to what sex he is at the moment. No mistake
about it, he was male. A grab in between his legs confirmed
that to him. And that meant........)
Ranma : (bolts upright) I'm cured! I'm really cured!!
(He hears a little splash from the other end of the tub, and looks
up. He rubbed his eyes again and stared at Ranma-chan sitting
at the other end of the tub, as surprised and as naked as he is.)
Ranma-chan : Ummm....this is just a dream, right?
Ranma : It must be a dream. No way there could be my female self right across from me. No
way.
Ranma-chan : But...I'm right here. Why is it....I mean...why are you.....there?
Ranma : I should ask you the same question. This has gotta be a dream!
(He bangs his head on the tub, a decision he immediately regretted
for he cut his forehead on the edge. He felt the pain searing on
his head and he felt the blood dripping from the gash. He tasted
the blood. It tasted salty. This couldn't be a dream! In addition to
the pain, he felt the stirrings of sexual arousement beginning, just by
looking at his naked female form. Ranma-chan saw Ranma's reddening
face. Putting one and one together, she placed an arm over her breasts
and drew her legs close to her.)
Ranma : S-sorry. Are you real?
Ranma-chan : As real as that! (pointed at Ranma's hardening penis)
Ranma : I can't help it! (moves closer to Ranma-chan, who edges away) If you are real, then
take my hand. I want to feel you, to see if you are real. (reaches out a hand)
Ranma-chan : You pervert! (slaps the hand away) How dare you try and `feel' me!
Ranma : (looks at the slap mark on his hand) It's true. You are real.
Ranma-chan : This has gotta be a dream! I can't be with you. You are me. I am you. We
are the same people.....unless....
Ranma : Unless the Nullifier really did work. But, I thought it was supposed to nullify curses.
Ranma-chan : I'm...I'm gonna put some hot water into the tub.
(Still holding an arm over her breasts, she gets out and
walks over to the tap, which was near by Ranma. She
bends over and turns the hot water tap on. She leaves
the tap running and she sits right next to the taps, letting
her body get the hot water first. Ranma sat there, mesmerized
by the naked beauty next to him.)
Ranma-chan : What's the matter? Never seen a real guy before? (splashes some hot water
on herself, oblivious to the pain.)
Ranma : (even he can feel the hot water from his place) What guy? You're still a girl.
Ranma-chan : (drops her arm from her breasts) I-AM-NOT-A-GIRL! I'm a guy now! See?
(Ranma-chan thumps a hand on her chest and stands up,
dripping water from her graceful curves, long legs and from
her pubic hair. Ranma's eyes goggle and Ranma-chan looks
down at her body.)
Ranma-chan : EEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm....still a girl!! (dunks her head under the scalding hot
water) This should....owww! This should do the trick!
Ranma : No, stop you fool! You'll get boiled alive!
Ranma-chan : Shut up, you. I'm a guy, not a girl! C'mon, change, damn it!
(Ranma grabbed Ranma-chan by the shoulders and drags
her kicking and screaming from the jet of near-boiling
water. She tries to throw herself under the tap again but
Ranma flung both arms around her body and pulled her
from the tub. His hands were clamped tight around her
firm breasts. His still-erect penis poked hard against
her butt and Ranma-chan shrieked.)
Ranma-chan : PERVERT!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! (turns around and slugs Ranma across
the face)
Ranma : Hey! I didn't mean to do that! I was only trying to help you!
(Ranma backs away defensively. Ranma-chan looked steamed, literally.
Her upper torso was completely red from the near-boiling water. Suddenly
conscious of her nakedness, she sinks to her knees and covers herself with
her hands, which she pulled away immediately because even a mere touch
on her scalded skin was pure agony.)
Ranma-chan : Wh-why didn't I change back? Why? WHY??!?
Ranma : The Nullifier! It did work! But instead of curing my curse completely, it separated
my female half from my male half. So we aren't cursed anymore, it's just that I'm
back to normal and you're in a normal girl's body. (stands up and gets a towel)
Here, put this on until we get this all sorted out.
(The bathroom door slams open and Akane runs in,
one hand clapped over her eyes. Ranma yelps in fright.)
Akane : Ranma?! Is there something wrong?
(Ranma, in a supreme act of willpower, willed his
manhood back to normal and covered himself with
the towel in record time. Ranma-chan is still examining
herself, trying to find out why she didn't change back.)
Ranma : A-Akane!
Akane : Is Shampoo in here again?! I heard a girl's voice in here, Ranma! No use hiding,
Shampoo! (wills a mallet into her hands) Come here, you...little...!
Ranma : Akane! Stop that, or you might hurt someone!
Akane : The only one who's gonna be hurt is that little witch!
Ranma-chan : (still in shock) Why didn't I change back? Why?
(Akane stumbles into the bathroom, blindly swinging. At
length, she simply pulls her hand from her eyes and she
stalked the bathroom, ears tuning out the sound of the hot water
tap. Through the billowing clouds of steam coming from super-
heated bath, she could make out Ranma searching for his clothing
....and a female form on the bath floor, hands out and resting on either
side of her. Akane had finally reached the breaking point of her hatred
for Shampoo's unwanted attentions on Ranma. This was the last straw!)
Akane : Ah-hah! There you are! Prepare to die!!!! (brings the mallet up and swings it down
at the female form.)
Ranma-chan : AAAAHHHHH!!! (catches the mallet in both hands, just inches from her head.)
Akane : Nnnnnggrrrrrr! Die, you!!
Ranma-chan : Wait, Akane!! It's me! Ranma!
Akane : Oh, no you don't!!! Don't try to trick me, Shampoo!! Ranma is over there, in his
normal body! Now, give up!
Ranma : Wait, Akane!
(Ranma turns the tap off and opens the window, allowing
the steam to flow out. The atmosphere clears and the
scene unfolds. A naked Ranma-chan is holding off Akane's
attack with all her strength, while Akane was leaning hard
on the mallet, putting her strength and her weight behind it.
Akane takes a good look at Ranma-chan and she lets the mallet
drop from her nerveless fingers.)
Ranma-chan : (skin color starting to return to normal) H-hello, Akane.
Akane : What is going on here?! Ranma! (turns on Ranma, who pulls his towel tighter)
Ranma : Yeah? W-What?
Akane : What happened?
Ranma : Umm....the Nullifier dropped into the bath. All of it spilled into the water and then
this happened.
Akane : (kneeling beside Ranma-chan) Ranma? Are you alright?
Ranma : Of course I am!
Ranma-chan : She means me, stupid. Well, I got burnt by the hot water. I didn't change back
though...!
Akane : (noting the finger marks on Ranma-chan's breasts) Who did that to you?! (looks at
Ranma) Ranma! You pervert!!
Ranma : I was only trying to pull her away from the hot water tap, stupid! Tell her!
Ranma-chan : Why didn't I change back?! That water was hot enough to hard-boil eggs!
Akane : (grabs a towel and drapes it over Ranma-chan, who winces in pain) Ranma, why did
you use the Nullifier? Didn't you hear what Shampoo's great-great-grandmother said?!
Ranma : Yeah, but I couldn't wait. If only it didn't slip....anyways, I'm completely cured
now. See? (grabs a cup of cold water and splashes it on himself. He doesn't change
at all.)
Akane : Wow, you really are cured! This time.
Ranma-chan : W-what about me? Why couldn't I change back?
Voice from door : That's because neither one of you have the curse anymore.
Akane : Oh, Cologne! What do you mean by that?
Cologne : I came to tell you what I remembered but I guess it was too late.
Ranma-chan : Tell me! Why - didn't - I - change - back!?
Cologne : Let's start from the beginning. Our Amazon village had, from time to time, a
shortage of men to become husbands for the strongest women. Back then, we had
no contact with the outside world and we were isolated by the mountains. During
times like those, our strongest women visit Jusenkyo and dive into the Spring of
Drowned Man.
Ranma : So what does that have to do with this?
Cologne : Learn patience, sonny boy, or you won't get anywhere. Like I said, our strongest
women become cursed with being a man half the time. This is where our Nullifier
comes in. Blend 122 makes one person into two people - one male....and one female.
Ranma-chan : You don't mean to say that......those two marry each other? And have children?
Ranma : No way!
Cologne : Sad, but true and very necessary for the survival of the Amazons in times of crisis.
But because we had quite recently established trade routes with the outside world,
willing males were in no short supply and the Nullifier was effectively useless and
gathered dust, until X'ian received it. You're lucky it was old stock, you two,
otherwise an even worse thing could have happened.
Ranma-chan : Why's that? What could be worse than this?
Cologne : Because it was so old, the spell energies had faded somewhat and an essential feature
had been dropped over the course of time. Call it `spell decay' or whatever you will.
Anyways, that feature was to instill lust and passion in both the subjects - thereby
ensuring that the deed would take place. Actually, the part about using it in the
bath was a recommendation. One could've taken it, in a drink, while lying on a bed
...a *big* bed....or any suitable location.
Ranma : You mean...me and her were supposed to....(Akane smacks his head)
Cologne : If it were new stock you two would be....if I may put it in less vulgar terms, having
alot of fun.
Ranma-chan : He almost did! Look at my chest! (unconsciously she also feels the spot where
Ranma's penis had poked her.)
Ranma : Hey!
Cologne : Don't worry about it. It was just some residual energies of the lust spell. It should
go away in a couple of days or so.
Akane : Ranma, you pervert!!
Ranma : It wasn't the spell! Like I said, I was trying to pull her away from the hot water!
Ranma-chan : Hey, old ghoul! Am I gonna be stuck this way forever?! Is there a cure?
Cologne : I don't know.
Ranma-chan : You mean....you mean I'm gonna be stuck as a girl?!
Cologne : I'm afraid so.
Ranma-chan : (whirls on Ranma) This is your fault, you moron!
Ranma : My fault? This is your fault and your problem, shorty!
Ranma-chan : How is it my fault?! You're the guy and I'm the girl. Now who was it that put
the Nullifier in the bath, hmmm?!
Akane : Stop it! The both of you are equally at fault! Stop blaming each other!
Cologne : She's right, you know. You (points at Ranma) and you (points at Ranma-chan) are
the same person.
Ranma-chan : Yeah, but he's cured and I'm not! That makes it his fault!
Akane : Huh?
Ranma : Well, I'm not gonna stand around here like this. (grabs his clothing and exits)
Ranma-chan : HEY, IDIOT!! THOSE ARE MY CLOTHES!!!
(Ranma-chan gets up and wraps the towel completely around
herself. She ties it up and runs out after Ranma, shouting at
the top of her lungs. Cologne turns to Akane.)
Cologne : Oh, well. It's his own fault this time. I told him to wait.
Akane : Isn't there a cure? Can't you find out?
Cologne : Dearie, in all my three hundred years of life, I don't recall any cure for the Nullifier.
Akane : So...this is permanent, then?
Cologne : As permanent as the `couples' back in Qinghai. Akane, I want you to keep an eye
out for them. That lust spell might kick in once in a while and....
Akane : No need to tell me about it!
Cologne : Also, there is another thing I sort of remember. It had something to do with
`imbalance' or `overload', or something like that. I tried very hard to remember the
whole phrase but I'm afraid three centuries has been a long while.
Akane : Okay, I'll remember that. (exits the bathroom)
(Ranma is in his room and is about to put on a shirt. Ranma-chan,
wet and dripping and clothed in a slip of a towel, glares at Ranma.)
Ranma-chan : That's my favorite shirt you're wearing!!
Ranma : No it's not. It's my favorite shirt!
Ranma-chan : Give it to me!
(Holding the towel in place with one hand, Ranma-chan grabs at
the shirt with the other and tries to take it away. Ranma
contemptuously pulls it away from Ranma-chan's one-handed
grasp. Ranma-chan growled in anger and took hold of the shirt
with both her hands, pulling with all her might. Unfortunately
her towel took a mind of its own and fell from her body, exposing
her nakedness to Ranma. Yelping in fright Ranma-chan let go of
the shirt and made a grab for her towel. Ranma couldn't resist the
temptation and he kicked the towel into the air with one foot and
caught it. Ranma-chan screeched and lunged for the towel but Ranma
dangled it just out of reach. The door banged open and Akane walked
in.)
Akane : Hey, you two...Shampoo's great-great-grandmother said to....
(She sees a completely nude Ranma-chan pressing up against Ranma,
one hand grasping his shoulder and one hand trying to grab the towel
that Ranma held in the air.)
Ranma : Ha ha ha! Too short to reach it, eh?
Ranma-chan : GIVE ME THAT!!!
Akane : Ranma!!!!
(Ranma had only enough time to witness a fist flying at his face before
he was whacked into the wall. Akane picked the towel up and gave it
to Ranma-chan, who was covering herself with both hands.)
Ranma-chan : Thanks. (wraps herself in the towel.)
Akane : Ranma, you pervert!!
Ranma-chan : Hey, it's his fault!!
Akane : Not you, idiot!! Him!!
Ranma-chan : Oh.
Akane : This is weird, Ranma. I mean, there are two of you now.
Ranma : At least I'm cured now. I'm a normal guy again!
Ranma-chan : And what about me?!
Ranma : Oh yeah, I guess that is a problem. Don't worry...you're a normal person too!
Ranma-chan : BUT I AM A GUY, NOT A GIRL! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!
Ranma : You are as much at fault as I am, you! Anyways, it's not like I wanted to pour the
whole thing in. It slipped, remember?
Soun : (coming up the stairs) What's the shouting all about?
Genma : (beside Soun) What's the matter, boy?
Akane : Umm, dad? Meet Ranma.....and Ranma.
Soun : What are you....(sees Ranma and Ranma-chan) What's going on here?
Genma : Which one is you, boy?
Ranma & Ranma-chan : I am!
Akane : Let me explain.....
(Akane launches into a brief, condensed explanation of how and why
there are two Ranmas. Genma walks over to Ranma, looks him over
for a while, then, unexpectedly, he threw a punch at Ranma, who reacted
quickly and blocked the strike.)
Ranma : Hey! What's the big idea?! (retaliates with a punch but Genma dodged it)
Genma : Yes. It's you, boy. No mistake about it. I taught you that block myself.
(Genma turns to Ranma-chan next, who is still wearing the towel.
He threw a punch at her and Ranma-chan ducked it.)
Ranma-chan : Why you....! Not fair, I'm not properly dressed! (tries to punch him back but
she stopped as her towel started to slip. She tried again, to the same results.)
Genma : Well....no one else but my son would try so hard to punch me back. You pass.
Soun : So, they really are the same person then?
Genma : I should think so. Yes.
Ranma : I'm surprised that you recognize me as your son!
Genma : Why's that, boy? I raised you with my own two hands!!
Ranma-chan : You never raised me at all! All you did was to engage me to a bunch of
fiancees, three of which are fighting tooth and claw over me, and lug me all
across Japan and China! Then you dunked me in that spring of drowned girl
and now look at me!!
Ranma : Umm, he was talking to me, you know.
Akane : What's the difference?
(Ranma-chan gives Ranma a final glare before ducking into her room
and putting on some clothing. She emerged in a red shirt and black
pants, still drying her hair with the towel.)
Soun : Hmmm....this is nothing very serious. I guess that it could have been worse.
Ranma : You said it! I'm cured!
Ranma-chan : But I'm stuck in a girl's body! Why did you have to jump the gun by using the
Nullifier so soon?!
Ranma : Hey, it worked, didn't it? It nullified my curse!
Ranma-chan : But it gave me the curse! For good!
Nabiki : Oh, how good life is! (twirling a camera around)
Kasumi : Oh, my. Where are you going to sleep, Ranma?
Ranma : In my room, Kasumi. Where else?
Ranma-chan : She means me, dummy. In my room, where else?
Ranma : Didn't I just say that?
Ranma-chan : So you did. It's my room!
Ranma : No, it's my room.
Akane : It's both your rooms. And you'll both have to stay there because we don't have any
other guest rooms.
(Ranma and Ranma-chan look sullen for a long moment, then
they grumbled their assent with Akane's order.)
Akane : Ranma, come over here for a sec.
Ranma : Why?
Akane : Just come! I want to talk to you.
(Ranma goes over to Akane and she leads him just around the
corner, where nobody could overhear her. Ranma-chan is still
looking depressed. Soun and Genma return to their game, albeit
with new worries to plague them. Kasumi, always unfrazzled by
the strangest of events, sits and watches a TV program while
Nabiki is fiddling with her camera.)
Akane : Ranma, I want you to see the problem from the girl Ranma's point of view.
Ranma : What?
Akane : Do you know why she's so angry?
Ranma : She's blaming me but we all know that me and her are the same person. We both
dropped the Nullifier into the bath.
Akane : Exactly. She knows that it was her fault, and I've never known..um..you or her to
blame other people for something that wasn't their fault. She's ticked off because you
don't seem to care at all that she's stuck as a girl. You are too self-absorbed over your
cure. You are not paying enough attention to her problems because you are too busy
celebrating the end of your problems.
(Ranma's face reddened slightly in embarassment from receiving a
lecture from Akane, feeling almost like he was a dog who had done
something bad and was being scolded for it. Ranma looked deep in
his heart and saw the truth of Akane's words. He certainly didn't pay
closer attention to the girl-Ranma....to her feelings, he hastily corrected.
He tried to imagine how it must be for the girl-Ranma to have her world
so suddenly turned topsy turvy. He didn't like it one bit.)
Ranma : Yeah....I guess I've never looked at it that way. I'll go and make it up to her, okay?
Akane : That's the spirit, Ranma. Now, I'll go and get your room ready for another person
while you go and talk to her, okay?
Ranma : Sure thing. Consider it done. (Ranma goes and looks for Ranma-chan)
Nabiki : Ranma!
Ranma : Yeah?
Nabiki : Can you get yourself to pose for the camera?
Ranma-chan : Don't you dare try and make me! I said I don't want you taking pics of me,
Nabiki!
Nabiki : But my dear Ranma! Think of the profits you could garner for me from Kuno! Look
I'll even cut you a share. How does...oh...six percent sound?
Ranma-chan : I - SAID.......
Ranma : No thanks, Nabiki. `I' refuse.
Ranma-chan : Hey, don't put words in my mouth!
Ranma : Do you want to pose, then?
Ranma-chan : Are you nuts?!
Ranma : Then? C'mon (grabs Ranma-chan's hand) Let's get outta here before she gouges us
for every yen we're worth.
Ranma-chan : W-what? Hey! Let go of my hand! (voice fades off as Ranma pulls her along)
Nabiki : Hey, you two! I'll double my original offer!!
(The two leap ontop of the roof and Ranma-chan wrenches her
hand from Ranma's and turns her back to him.)
Ranma-chan : Okay, you. What's this all about?!
Ranma : Well.....ummm
Ranma-chan : If you're trying to apologize to me about this mess I'm in, forget about it. I don't
need your apology.
Ranma : No! It's....well....I've been thinking. You see, I was so happy that I wasn't cursed
anymore that I didn't make an effort to see it from your point of view. I didn't even
try to understand your feelings. Anyways, you know very well that it's our fault, not
just mine. (he puts a hand on Ranma-chan's shoulder, who flinches) We both know
we're no good at this sort of thing so...I'm sorry for being a jerk.
(Ranma-chan turns and looks at Ranma, judging the sincerity in
his voice and body language. It seems as if time had stopped; so
silent was that moment that not even crickets could be heard. At length,
Ranma-chan smiled and put her arm up on Ranma's shoulder.)
Ranma-chan : Thanks. I should be the one to say sorry, though. I was the jerk, blaming
you
for something we both did.
Ranma : Hey, let bygones by bygones. Forget about the whole thing and we'll call it quits,
okay?
Ranma-chan : Okay. Now, what do we do?
Ranma : Well, first things first. We don't seem to have an immediate cure so we have to
set out a life for you. First, we register you in school as Akane's country cousin,
Ranko Tendo.
Ranma-chan : Ranko? Bleeah, I hate that name.
Ranma : It'll make things go easier when Mom comes to visit.
Ranma-chan : Okay, Ranko it is. For now. Then what?
Ranma : Then we'll wait until the old ghoul remembers some important bit of info. After all,
her tribe had the Nullifier first. Maybe they know how to un-Nullify us.
Ranma-chan : Then....you will be cursed again!
Ranma : That's....right. I've never thought of that. Well, scratch that idea.
Ranma-chan : We'll think of an idea later. This is so weird!! I can't believe I'm really talking
to myself!
Ranma : Just clicked in for you too? I didn't really start to think about this until now; delayed
reaction, I guess.
Ranma-chan : I don't wanna think about it right now. Let's go do something before I go nuts.
(The two stand on the roof, trying to find something to do with
themselves, anything to take their minds off their worries. Because
their common ground is far more extensive than normal, Ranma
and Ranma-chan immediately hit upon doing what they both love
to do best....)
Ranma & Ranma-chan : Let's fight!
Ranma : Hey, how'd you know that?
Ranma-chan : Stupid, we're both the same people, right?
Ranma : (looks her all over) Oh, really?
Ranma-chan : (narrows her eyes) I take that back. Enough stalling, let's rock
(Ranma and Ranma-chan run to the dojo. Ranma starts off on the
crane-style while Ranma-chan adopts her usual stance.)
Ranma : Crane style!
Ranma-chan : Huh, that old thing? Don't think you can defeat me like you did to Akane!
Ranma : We'll see about that.
(Even as Ranma spoke he lunged and performed a leap kick.
Ranma-chan rolled aside and awaited Ranma's next attack.
He swung a crane-fist at Ranma-chan, who deflected the blow
with her forearm and struck back. The speed of her attack
allowed her fist to slip through Ranma's defenses and it connected
with his solar plexus. Ranma's breath whooshes out of his lungs.)
Ranma-chan : Hah! First strike is mine!
Ranma : Urgghh..! But you gotta do better than that!
(Ranma brought a crane-fist sweeping down at Ranma-chan's neck.
Ranma-chan blocked the attack and was nearly knocked to the floor
by the sheer force of the blow. She swung her feet and tried to trip
Ranma. Ranma hopped over the legs and kicked out at Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan dodged the kick and somersaulted out of attack range.
She landed - just in time to block a leap kick aimed at her face. Ranma
launched into a routine of attacks, varying his fist attacks with his
feet attacks in a seemingly-random pattern. Ranma-chan blocked and
dodged all of it, however, and she tried out one of her attack patterns,
a kick, kick, side-kick, hammer-kick. Ranma blocked all of these with
practiced ease and performed a leaping throw, where he darts forward,
grabs Ranma-chan's shirt and uses his momentum to send her flying.
She righted herself in midair and landed on her two feet, lunging back
into the fray with her hands weaving in a familiar motion.)
Ranma-chan : Time to bring out the big guns! Kashue Tenshin Amaguriken!!!
(Ranma-chan's fist strikes suddenly blurred. Ranma used his
Kashue Tenshin Amaguriken to try and block all the attacks but
the fists just kept slipping through. He blocked forty punches in
a second but the forty-first landed on his ribs. He parried another
barrage of fists, only to be nailed by a sucker-punch that he failed
to catch. Ranma knew he was fighting a losing battle by trying to
compete with Ranma-chan's sheer speed. Ranma broke off the
confrontation and leapt high into the air.)
Ranma : Mouko Takabisha!! Air move!!
(Ranma put his hands together and pushed outwards at Ranma-chan,
calling upon his willpower as he did so. For a brief second there was
a blue globe of energy seething in the space between his hands, then
it was unleashed as a powerful, destructive bolt that shot at Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan had no other recourse than to block the powerful attack.
Fortunately, Ranma didn't have the time to call upon his full reserves and
the energy blast only felt like a very hard punch of superheated air that
singed her arms and sent her stumbling back a few feet.)
Ranma : Take that, you!
Ranma-chan : Ha ha! Gotcha! Hiryuu Shotenha!!!!
(She punched her right fist in the air and a whirlwind of chi-energy erupted
from her, starting at the feet and swirling out the arm and at Ranma. Ranma
caught the tip of the blast while he was still in the air and he was flung clear
across the dojo, where he crashed into a wall and slid to the floor.)
Ranma : Hmph!! Not too bad! (he is a bit wobbly on his feet but he's still standing)
Ranma-chan : That's not all! Mouko Takabisha!
(A reddish-orange energy blast shot forth from Ranma-chan's hands and
hit Ranma, who staggered back from the blast and fell to the floor. He
slowly stood back up, clothing starting to smoke a little.)
Ranma : Heh...is that all you wanna give into the blast?
Ranma-chan : What?! You're still standing?! (she begins to run at Ranma, intent on finishing
the match with a well-placed leap kick.)
Ranma : Mouko Takabisha!!
(This time Ranma had full control of his chi resources. A large bolt of
energy burst forth from his hands and slammed into Ranma-chan. Even
though she had blocked it, the impact sent her flying. She hit the floor
rolling and came up, head spinning from the sheer force. Her clothing
was slightly burnt and her arms were bruised. She was still recovering
from the force of Ranma chi-attack, an experience she didn't care to repeat
again. Ranma had bruises all over his back and the soles of his shoes were
charred black. His shirt was still smoking from Ranma-chan's Mouko Takabisha
and his back ached from the pounding it took.)
Ranma : Okay, we've proved our points. Let's call it a draw, okay?
Ranma-chan : You said it. Draw game. (she relaxed her guard)
Ranma : I should have known that you're faster than me. After all, I used my speed in my
girl-form to win some duels.
Ranma-chan : Yeah, well, the same goes for you. You are stronger than me, and more durable.
Ranma : Thanks for holding back on your chi attacks. I don't think I'd want to be on the
receiving end of one.
Ranma-chan : Holding back? I wasn't holding back. I was using all my strength and
energy!
Ranma : But it wasn't what I was expecting. Say, what did you feel when I blasted you
the first time around?
Ranma-chan : Like I was punched really hard by a big, red-hot metal glove.
Ranma : Ouch. Anyway, your Mouko Takabisha didn't feel nearly as painful as you described
my attack.
Ranma-chan : That was the first time around. The second time you blasted me I went flying
and I barely managed to keep from passing out. Well, still a good match. How
are those bruises on your front from my Chestnut fists?
Ranma : !!!!
(He had just noticed fist-shaped injuries on his chest and abdomen, all
of them meshing so they looked like one big bruise. He rips his shirt
off and turned around.)
Ranma : Which is worse, that big bruise on my back or the ones on my front?
Ranma-chan : Ouch. They both look bad. But don't worry, we heal fast, right?
Ranma : You're heartless, you know that?
Ranma-chan : (smiles) I know. Hey, didn't you know I hit you from the front?
Ranma : Yeah, but I felt only two punches slip through my blocks. You really are fast!
Ranma-chan : When you jumped into the air I managed to get a lot of punches on you. Your
guard was down, you know.
Akane : (from dojo door) Hey, you two! Your ice-cream is waiting.
Ranma : What flavor?
Akane : Strawberry swirl.
Ranma-chan : Race you to the ice-cream!! (zooms off, followed by Ranma)
(The next half-hour passes uneventfully, with Ranma and Ranma-chan
exploring the newness of their peculiar relationship. Each knows what
the other would do, or say, in advance, so there was little need for talking.
At exactly the same time, the two would turn on the TV set and watch
the same channels. Eery that it is, almost all the family had no trouble
adapting to the strange situation. Kasumi went on with her work, Soun
and Genma played shogi endlessly and Nabiki readies her camera in the
anticipation of a perfect shot. Only Akane felt a little unnerved at the
near-perfect synchronization of the two - and more than a little jealous
of Ranma-chan. Imagine, Ranma's girl-side is more popular to him than
her! The doorbell rang.)
Akane : Oh, the slumber party!! I nearly forgot! My friends are here!
(She runs to the door and opens it. Sayuri, Anemi and two other girls
were standing on the porch, duffel bags in hand.)
Anemi : Hi, Akane! Ready for the slumber party?
Akane : You bet! Come on in!
Sayuri : Akane, this is Yuki (the girl with short, black hair bows). She's from another class.
And this is Sayaka (the girl wearing glasses smiles and bows)
Akane : Pleased to meet you both! (bows to them)
(The girls chat animatedly as they enter the living room, then pausing
and looking about the Tendo residence. Soun and Genma get up to
meet the guests.)
Soun : Well, hello there! You're all Akane's friends, right?
Sayuri : Yes, Mr. Tendo.
Soun : Make yourselves at home. This is my friend and colleague, Genma.
Kasumi : (walks out of the kitchen) I'm Kasumi, Akane's elder sister. The treats and bonbons
are waiting in your room, Akane.
Akane : Thanks, Kasumi.
Nabiki : I'm Nabiki, Akane's slightly elder sister. I'm sorry but I cannot join your slumber
party because I have....previous engagements. But if you're looking for a person to
fill in, try Ranko on the couch over there.
Sayuri : (looks over) Akane, she's your country cousin?
Yuki : She's the one who won that rhythmic gymnastics thing two years ago. And she fought
that Mousse guy and won! The way I hear it, she's as strong as that cute guy from
your class.
Sayaka : Oh, him! Yeah, she's as skilled as that Saotome hunk!
Akane : Saotome...h-hunk? (shocked at Ranma's popularity with the girls)
Sayuri : Umm, you guys....!
Sayaka : Don't you know? He's the one with the pigtail and he never wears a uniform. Even
Hinako-sensei couldn't get him to wear the uniform, and she's a tough one! That
psycho-nutcase principal of ours can't even get Ranma to cut his pigtail.
Yuki : I hear that nerd Gosunkugi telling everybody that he's cursed, or something like that,
but I don't believe a word of that junk. Nobody who looks as good as he does can be
cursed!
Sayaka : Hey, who's that sitting next to Ranko? Hey, that's......oh-my-God!
Yuki : It's him!
Anemi : Akane? Don't get mad. They don't know a thing about your fiancee.
Sayaka : Anemi, what are you talking about? What fiancee?
Sayuri : Umm, Ranma Saotome is Akane's fiancee....
Akane : Our parents arranged it when we were young, so don't blame me for it.
Yuki : You mean to say that Ranma and Akane are....(locks her pinkies together)
Akane : Ha ha ha! Not quite that!
Sayaka : Lucky you. Wait till the girls hear this....they'll be so heartbroken!
Sayuri : Akane, come here for a sec. (leads Akane away. Yuki and Sayaka are still sneaking
peeks at Ranma. Anemi is sizing up Ranko, who is sitting next to Ranma)
Sayuri : We know how jealous you can get......
Akane : Jealous? Of whom? That casanova?
Sayuri : Don't be so mad, Akane. Remember, these girls are not from our class. We can't
tell everybody how to think of your fiancee. You should count yourself lucky that
you've got the one guy whom almost every girl thinks is a stud. Even Kuno wasn't
as popular as him. Come on, let's go `recruit' Ranko!
(Akane and her friends walk over to the couch. Ranma and Ranma-chan
look up from the TV simultaneously. The both of them looked bored stiff.)
Sayuri : Hello, Ranma.
Ranma : Hey, you're Akane's friend, right?
Sayuri : Yes. (turns to Ranma-chan) You're Ranko, right?
Ranma-chan : Umm, yeah.
Anemi : Wanna join our slumber party? We need one more girl for our game and we were
hoping to convince Nabiki to join, but she said no.
Ranma-chan : Umm, I don't know.
Sayuri : It'll be fun!
Akane : Ranko, you'll be starting school tomorrow. This it'll be a good time to make some
friends. Come along.
(Ranma-chan looks up at Akane's smiling face, at her
brown eyes twinkling with amusement. She turns around
and looks at the other girls <who are kinda cute!>, she
thinks to herself. She gets up.)
Ranma-chan : Oh, alright. This program was starting to get boring anyways.
Ranma : You go on ahead and enjoy yourself...er...Ranko.
Ranma-chan : Yeah, sure.
Yuki : (whispers to Sayaka) Look at him! I'd give anything to be in Akane's shoes right now!
Sayaka : (giggles and whispers back) Do you think he'll be in our slumber party?
Ranma & Ranma-chan : Huhhh....ha-choo!
Yuki : (whispers) Wishful thinking, though I wouldn't mind it! (Ranma-chan sneezes again)
Akane : What's wrong, Ranko? Coming down with the cold?
Ranma-chan : Huh? No, I'm fine. I just sneezed all of a sudden. Weird.
Ranma : Same here. (he flicks to another channel)
Sayuri : Sayaka, Yuki. This is Ranma Saotome (waves a hand at Ranma, who looks up)
Yuki : Nice to meet you, Ranma!
Sayaka : Same goes for me. Say, are you really Akane's....
Ranma : Fiancee? Our parents arranged that when we were little so don't go looking at me for
any explanations.
Yuki : (whispers) Fiancee, he says. That is so romantic!
Akane : C'mon, you guys. Let's go.
(Akane, Ranma-chan, Sayuri, Anemi, Sayaka and Yuki troop
up to Akane's room, whereupon they unpack their stuff and
begin to change into their PJs. Ranma-chan pretends to
search around Akane's closet for some PJs, thereby avoiding
having to look at the girls. At length she picks out a pink
PJ with the words `China' on the front, and she begins to
leave the room, PJ draped over her arm.)
Anemi : Where are you going, Ranko?
Ranko : Uhh....to the bathroom. To change.
Sayuri : You don't have to go someplace private to change. We're all girls!
(Akane gives Ranma-chan a look that said `play along'.
Ranma-chan sighs and takes her shirt off.)
Sayaka : Ranko, where's your bra?
Ranko : My what?
Yuki : Your bra. Why aren't you wearing one?
Ranko : Oh, well....it's kinda less restricting not to wear one in the house. When I go out, I
wear one.
Sayaka : Be careful what you don't wear around the house. Guys have eyes for that sort of
thing. Sometimes I even think they have eyes on the back of their heads.
Akane : Yeah, Ranko. Didn't you know that already?
Ranko : Aww, Akane! Give me a break. (pulls on the PJs without further ado.)
(The girls get themselves acclimatized to Akane's room
and atmosphere, making small talk as they cuddled up
to their pillows. Ranma-chan talks with the girls, learning
their names and their classes. She looks as if she might fall
asleep at any moment, so warm and comforting was Akane's
bedroom. Akane's bed was soft, cozy and had a nice color
tone to it, and Ranma-chan was almost half asleep.)
Sayaka : Hey, Ranko! (prods her with a finger) Don't fall asleep now!
Ranma-chan : (under her breath) What kinda slumber party is this supposed to be anyways?
Sayuri : Now, what shall we do first?
Anemi : I know! Let's try and match up the guys we are likely to date next week! (Ranma-
chan chokes at this)
Sayuri : Akane, Ranma won't count for this.
Akane : Okay!
Ranma-chan : (grumbles) Ranma won't count for this, yeah right.
(Each girl gives a list of qualities she'd like to find in a boy,
and the rest of the group give their opinions on which boy
suits that girl the most. Sayaka goes first, followed by Anemi,
then Sayuri, then Yuki. Akane is next.)
Akane : I'd sure like him to understand me, to appreciate me for what I am, never to fight with
me or call me names, and never run around with other girls.
Sayuri : Like I said, Ranma is out for this.
Anemi : Even if he wasn't out, he'd still be out by default. Ranma can't be like the guy Akane
is describing.
Ranma-chan : (shoots a hand in the air) I don't think so! Ranma isn't like that.
Sayaka : How is he, then?
Yuki : And how do you know so much about him?
Ranma-chan : Well, living here under the same roof as him tends to give you some insight into
his character. He's nice, good tempered, and doesn't have much of a choice
when girls come to date him.
Akane : What do you mean that y-....I mean, he doesn't have a choice?!
Ranma-chan : Shampoo always has that odd cure for the curse. If she doesn't, then she has that
odd trick up her sleeve to make m-...him go out with her. Kodachi, well, we
needn't say more about that one. And Ukyo has never gone out on a date with
Ranma.
Akane : Not once?
Ranma-chan : Not once.
Akane : Then twice?
Ranma-chan : He - has - never - gone - out - on - a - date - with - Ucchan! Get it?
Sayuri : No need to get so worked up about this, Ranko. It's only a game, after all.
Ranma-chan : Yeah. Sorry about that.
Anemi : Anyways, back to the topic. Which guy really suits Akane?
(Akane's friends confer for a few minutes. Ranko looks at
Akane, and she looks back. The two exchange gazes that
give away nothing that either could pick up on. The conference
ends and Akane's friends turn back to Akane.)
Akane : Well, what's the verdict?
Sayaka : (laughs) Well, the only guy we know that doesn't run around with girls.....
Yuki : (chortles) Wait till you hear it!
Sayuri : It's...Gosunkugi!
Akane and Ranma-chan : AAAAHHHH!! No way!
Anemi : (laughing too) He doesn't fight, never calls anyone names, appreciates and understands
girls, if he had a girlfriend, so this is just an assumption, and never runs around with
girls! He's p-perfect!! (collapses into laughter)
(The laughing is so contagious that soon Ranma-chan and even
Akane are joining in. The laughter dies down and Sayuri wipes
away a tear.)
Sayuri : Akane, you're asking too much of a guy. We all know that no guy can be exactly like
what you described. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much we want them to be.
Yuki : Well, I think somebody's quite perfect for me! And I'm not telling!
Sayaka : Same here!
Akane : Oh, you guys! We all know who you two want. (laughs somewhat maniacally)
Anemi : Uhh, yeah. We do know, don't we?
Sayuri : Ranko, now it's your turn. Give us your list!
Ranma-chan : Oh, umm.....okay. (thinks) Oh man, how did I ever get myself into something
like this!! He's gotta be independent, self-sufficient, umm....(flushes in
embarassment.) and skilled in martial arts, and strong, and h-handsome.....
Sayaka : Say no more! I know who is perfect for you!
Akane : Hey!
Sayuri : Don't worry, it's not Ranma.
Yuki : In fact we don't even know his name, but we know how he's dressed.
Akane : Well, who is it?
Ranma-chan : Yeah, who is it? (leans forward with some morbid interest)
Sayuri : Akane, who's that guy who keeps visiting you? You know, the one with that big and
heavy pack, a red umbrella, and wears a bandanna? He keeps fighting Ranma all the
time!
Akane & Ranma-chan : RYOGA?!!?
Anemi : That's it! Ryoga! He's always travelling by himself, he's skilled in martial arts, very
strong and he's cute! I'd say he's as cute as Ranma!
Sayaka : Now that you mention it...yeah. He's just as nice looking!
Sayuri : So, Ranko. When are you gonna go out with Ryoga?
Ranma-chan : G-go out with Ryoga?! But....but...he's...ummm...he's hard to find!
Anemi : I saw him just today. He passed the Tendo dojo, like seven or eight times. He had
some sort of big stone statue on his back and he looked kinda tired.
Yuki : I'm sure he would jump at the chance to date you, Ranko!
Ranma-chan : (thinking) He'd jump alright...to give me a kick in the face!
Akane : Okay, all of you. Enough with games for now, let's eat!
(All the girls tear into the treats and bonbons made and baked by
Kasumi. Ranma-chan gets to know the other classmates whom she
had never had a chance to mingle with. She is surprised to find that
she really did enjoy talking with them, pleasantly astonished at their
knowledge and intelligence - certainly the guys she had hung out with
had no room in their head for anything else except for having fun and
girls, the latter of which is probably another good reason why not to
hang out with her usual male friends while under this special curse.
After a short while, thanks to Ranma-chan's voracious appetite, all
the treats and bonbons are gone and the girls turn to other things.
Akane brought a small colour TV up to her room and they watched
an anime about a romantic comedy. Ranma-chan noticed that all
the girls, other than her of course, were fully spell-bound by the
story unfolding on the TV screen. Sayaka and Anemi lay on the
carpeted floor in front of the TV, their attention far away at the
boarding house where the anime is taking place. Yuki, Sayuri and
Akane lay or sat on the bed and clutched pillows and blankets as
they followed the actions of the members of the boarding house.
Ranma-chan was also on the bed but she didn't quite understand
how these girls could lose themselves so much in a TV show with
practically no action!! The anime episode ended and the girls
started talking about what had just happened.)
Sayaka : Oh, that's so sad! Why did he have to run away? Didn't he know how much she
truly loved him? Didn't he know that she would never jump the gun and marry
someone else?
Sayuri : And all because of that guy's sister's wedding! That poor, young man didn't know that
it wasn't her wedding....
Akane : And the part when the movers came to Room 5 and moved all his stuff out? She knew
then that he really was serious about running away! You could almost cry for him.
Anemi : Then she went to his new apartment...and saw that freeloading woman tenant living
under the same roof as he is?
Yuki : What was she to think? She didn't know that that woman didn't have the money to move
out!
Sayuri : Ranko, what did you think of that? Wasn't it heartbreaking?
Ranma-chan : No, not really. She didn't take the time to understand him, and vice versa. It's
both their fault and that's what they deserve.
Anemi : Ranko! Is your heart made of stone? Where are your feelings?
Yuki : Didn't you feel anything for that poor guy?
Ranma-chan : Nope. Not a thing.
Akane : (thinking) Oh well, should have guessed that he would have no feelings! Ahhh..let's
forget about this for now, okay? Let's play that Ouija board game!
(Yuki pulls out a Ouija board and the girls turn out the lights
and light two candles. They perform the rituals and all the
hype and jazz, and Yuki asks the first question.)
Yuki : Ouija board! What will my test mark be for tomorrow?
(She throws a pair of dice and it reads `92')
Yuki : YES!! I'll do so well on that test tomorrow!
(All the girls except Akane and Ranma-chan have their turn.
Then it is Akane's turn.)
Akane : (grabs the arrow) Ouija board! Tell me where to find the perfect guy!
Ranma-chan : Aww, geez Akane! Isn't Ranma good enough for you?!
(All the girls laugh at this.)
Akane : Quiet, idiot! I'm trying to contact the spirit world! (spins the arrow extra hard)
(The arrow on the Ouija board slows to a halt and points
at Ranma-chan. Then the arrow swings to point in the
general direction of the living room, then back to Ranma-chan
again. It keeps doing this for exactly two minutes and two seconds,
then it goes inert.)
Sayuri : Say, when I asked something like that it never moved on its own for as long as it did
back there!
Akane : That's....weird.
Yuki : Why was it pointing to you, Ranko? Then it swung away, then it pointed back to you!
Ranma-chan : Oh well, it's just a game. Let me try!
(Ranma-chan thinks real hard about a cure for the Nullifier
and fixes the concept in her mind. She picks up Akane's
world map from the desk and spreads it out on the floor.
She picks up a Ouija die and waves it mysteriously over
the board.)
Ranma-chan : Ouija board! Tell me where I can find the thing I'm thinking about in my mind!
(She throws the die on the world map. It rolls around and
stops somewhere in China.)
Ranma-chan : China!!? O ouija board!!! Tell me where the thing is! Again!
(She throws the die, this time at a different angle. It rolls
around.....and stops on the exact spot, in China.)
Ranma-chan : Jeez! You can never rely on things like this! O ouija board! Tell me one more
time!
(She tosses the die in the air and it lands on the same spot
again, without rolling about from the impact.)
Yuki : Say, Ranko. What were you looking for anyways?
Ranma-chan : Oh, nothing important.
Akane : Ranko....the die landed on that same spot three times. Do you think...?
Ranma-chan : Even if it is true, how the heck am I supposed to get there? Run? Swim?
Sayuri : Let's put this thing away, guys! It's giving me the creeps. Someone turn on the lights!
(The candles are blown out and the lights are turned on. The
Ouija board is put away and the girls chat about school affairs
and classroom things. Their social lives seem to interwine very
tightly with aspects of their everyday life. Sayaka complains
about how her mother limits her use of the phone to call boys.
Yuki grumbles about how she was grounded for spending too
much time out with her friends. Sayuri and Anemi smile and
listen sympathetically. Akane and Ranma-chan were little more
than spectators, interjecting a comment now and then. The hour
grew late and the girls pull out their pillows and blankets.
Ranma-chan excuses herself and returns to her room, with little
objection because Akane's room could only hold so many. She
returns to her old room.)
Ranma : Hey, what's with the PJ's?
Ranma-chan : Be quiet, you. (yawns) Oh man...I didn't know it was so tiring!
Ranma : What's so tiring?
Ranma-chan : That slumber party thing.
Ranma : I thought you would be wide awake....being close to all those girls and all that.
Ranma-chan : What makes you think I was there for the girls?
Ranma : The same thing that tells me how I would have liked to be in there.
Ranma-chan : No. Not really. The program was getting boring and I needed to meet with
my new friends.
Ranma : New friends? What's wrong with Hiroshi and Fuzaki? What about the guys?
Ranma-chan : I'm a girl now, remember? Until I find a cure I can't hang out all the time with
the guys.
Ranma : Hmmm...you're right. Those guys think of nothing else but girls.
Ranma-chan : How are those bruises coming along?
Ranma : Still painful as all hell. I don't know how I'm gonna go to sleep on a bruised back.
Ranma-chan : Lie down.
Ranma : What?
Ranma-chan : Lie down. I'll give you a back rub. It was my fault for using that Hiryuu
Shotenha on you like that.
Ranma : Are you sure?
Ranma-chan : Lie down or I'll make you.
(Ranma takes his shirt off and lies down on the futon.
Ranma-chan kneels down beside him and begins to rub
his sore back, kneading expertly with her delicate hands.
Ranma sighs in pleasure.)
Ranma : Ahh, this is the life.
Ranma-chan : Feeling better now?
Ranma : No, not yet.
Ranma-chan : Tell me when.
(She continues massaging for several minutes and still no
word from Ranma. She digs her nails into his back.)
Ranma : Hey! What's that for?
Ranma-chan : Don't tell me you aren't feeling better?!
Ranma : How can I not feel better when a cute girl is giving me a private massage?
(Ranma-chan stands up, fuming, and Ranma laughs, explaining
that it was just a joke. She calms down after a while and kneels
back down beside him.)
Ranma-chan : Well, anyways. (sits back up) Roll over. (indicates with a circling motion with
her index finger.)
Ranma : What?
Ranma-chan : Roll over. You forget about the Chestnut fist punches.
Ranma : Oh. (rolls over) I feel like a dog, or something.
Ranma-chan : Yes. So obedient. (begins massaging his chest and abs)
Ranma : Hey.
Ranma-chan : Hey what?
Ranma : Don't you feel...umm...kinda strange massaging a guy? (feels something stirring in
himself.)
Ranma-chan : I'm giving myself a massage, stupid. We're the same person after all, no need
to get a rise out of it.
Ranma : I'm not!
Ranma-chan : (points between his legs) Then what's that?
Ranma : (grabs a pillow and stuffs it between his legs) None of your business!
Ranma-chan : If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was for me.
Ranma : No it isn't! It's just that....it's just that....
Ranma-chan : Just joking, holy!
Ranma : Uh, right. (stares at Ranma-chan's swaying breasts under her pink shirt.)
(Ranma-chan finishes up and goes over to her futon and lies face
down. Ranma gets up, feeling much better.)
Ranma : That felt so good! I feel like a new man!
Ranma-chan : Now it's your turn to give me a back rub.
Ranma : What?!
Ranma-chan : I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Ranma : Oh, alright.
(Ranma-chan pulls her shirt up to her neck and lets Ranma work her
back with his hands. Ranma marvels at the softness of her back and
the smoothness of her skin while running his hands from the small of
her back up to her shoulders and back down again.)
Ranma : So, what do you think of the girls?
Ranma-chan : They're smarter than guys but they're too emotional. Crying over some dumb
show about a guy who lives in a boarding house with a bunch of tenants and a
beautiful manageress.
Ranma : Doesn't sound too exciting. Does it have any action?
Ranma-chan : More to the right, please. Sorry?
Ranma : (shifts his hands to the right) I said, does it have any action?
Ranma-chan : No. Not a bit. Just a bunch of tear-jerking scenes strung one after another.
Ranma : Is it anime?
Ranma-chan : Yup. No way you could pay anybody to do something like that.
(At length, Ranma-chan signals Ranma to stop massaging her and she
tucks her shirt back in.)
Ranma-chan : Don't worry, I won't ask you to massage my...chest. Disappointed, huh?
Ranma : Don't joke like that! I'm not disappointed.
Ranma-chan : Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. Seeya tomorrow.
(She puts her head on her pillow and falls asleep within seconds.
Ranma lets his eyes travel a moment longer on the slim, beautiful
figure on the futon next to his. He notes the slim shoulders, the
delicate arms and the long legs. He had no idea that he was this
ravishing when asleep. With some effort he wrenches his eyes
away from his female counterpart and goes to sleep. At some
time during the night, the panda comes in and sets himself next to
Ranma.)
(As Ranma-chan sleeps, she starts to dream. She feels
herself, in female form, taking a hot bath. Suddenly she is grabbed
from behind by strong hands which immobilize her own. She screams
in terror and tries to see who is behind her, but she couldn't. She
hears Ryoga's voice from behind her, saying `Date with me'. She
feels his body press up behind her and he said `Date with me' once
more. She shrieks at the top of her lungs and the nightmare shatters into a
thousand bits of darkness which scatter across the infinite expanse
of the dreamscape. She finds herself standing on a vast plain of
green, knee-high grasses, clothed in her normal clothing. A range
of white-capped, mist-shrouded mountains lie far off to her right.
The sun is high in the sky and a few clouds scud across the horizon.
A wind blows and passes through the tall grasses with a swish, and
ruffles her hair. Suddenly she knows that she is endowed with the
ability to fly and she takes to the air, soaring like a bird in flight.
The vast plain shrinks beneath her and she rides the sky lanes.
As she gets even higher she looks down on the land beneath her
and sees a huge face that she didn't see before when she was
on the ground. It was the face of a man, with sharp eyebrows,
flowing hair and striking eyes. Suddenly, the face turns and
looks up at her. The lips move and he starts to say something, but
Ranma-chan passed through a high-roving cloud at that moment.
When she emerged from its white fluffiness, the face had disappeared.)
(Ranma-chan tosses and turns on her futon, disturbed by the mysterious
omen yet reassured in some inexplicable way. She feels, yet doesn't
feel, a subtle change taking place in her body, one of many yet to come.
Darkness closes in upon Nerima ward, and soon only the chirps of
crickets break the silence that is the night.)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-End Part One-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=