What a time to start writing eh?



        I plopped lazily into my chair.  The physics lab had been hell, but
it was done with, until the write-up anyway.  Now's the time to relax.
After dinner comes that math problem set, but for now there was only the
comforting world of e-mail. <Hmm. . .  lots of those revenge fics posted.
Might be a good way to lose my lurker status.  Of course, no need to get too
wasted in it.  Heh, heh, heh.>
	Of course, I had no reason for any characters to be mad at me, but since
several people had been nailed on stories still being written, all I need
was an idea.  One presently came to me. It wasn't cheesy enough.  Being on
the mailing list, I knew what would elicit some groans, so I decided that a
few lemon scenes, locking Ranma in his female form, randomly pairing the
characters without explanation, and writing myself into the thing would put
me in the way of revenge. <Heh, with all that there won't be any room for a
plot.  But better a plot that died under the weight of so much bad writing
than none to begin with.>  For my purposes anyway. <Then, when the finished
fic, (if I ever finish it) is posted, I can attribute the lack of all that
junk I added to revisions after the visit in the revenge fic.  This'll be fun.>
	I pulled up Word Perfect, and just began to type the first word, ('he' if
you must know) when there was a knock at my door.  This wasn't not odd.  I
have a phone and the suite mini-fridge, as well as an internet connection,
so many, many people (some I have never seen before and who won't talk to me
on the street) regularly want to get into my room.  No, the knocking on the
door wasn't odd, and I decided to tell them that no, they couldn't check
their e-mail, I was busy with my computer.
	Oh? The odd thing?  Well, lest just say that it killed my scathing lecture
before it left my lips.    The odd thing was that it wasn't a suite-mate
outside my door, it wasn't one of those unrecognizable people.  No, I
recognized them very well, thank you.  The odd thing was that it was (who
would have guessed?) Ranma and Akane (I'm out of prizes, sorry).  My mind
didn't bother with how impossible this was.  It spent those precious seconds
reviewing the revenge fics posted, and trying to find a way out of all this.
	"Does this happen often on the mailing list?"  I asked, gesturing for them
to come in.. <Show no fear.>
	"Recently, yes," Ranma replied, taken off guard by my response.  I had to
know what was coming, hell, the entire list knows what's coming, but I
wasn't freaking out, and (hopefully) he didn't know why. <Curiosity is good.>
	"So it's bras and panties for me eh?" I asked, seeing a clearly labeled
bucket.  "Before you do the honors, would you answer me two questions?  I
won't resist if you agree."
	"How could you resist?" Ranma asked contemptuously.
	"Well, you might have noticed I'm a cat freak," I replied, gesturing to my
room.  Prints, photos and posters lined the walls, all of felines.  Statues
sat on my shelves of cats.  "You won't believe what I've got on my
computer," I began enthusiastically.  That is usually enough for anyone to
want to change the subject, much less Ranma.
	"All right, what are the questions?"
	"When a fan fic is written, do you go through that life, and then start the
next fan fic and live through that life?  Or do alternate Ranmas appear,
and, if they do appear, do you gain knowledge of what happens to them?
Also, when in the fic, does it appear to you that you act with free will, or
are you along for the ride as the author controls your body?"
	"What?!" Ranma half shouted, "What kinda question is that?"
	"Well I'm a physics and philosophy major, so I'm interested in the mechanic
of fan-fictional alternate universes, and the ethics and morality of writing
fan fiction.  I could get my thesis out of this."
	"Wait a second," Akane interrupted, "First of all, that would revel too
much about the mechanics behind fan fiction.  You might even learn to block
us if when we next cross over.  Secondly, we came here for revenge, and you
want us to _help you write your thesis_?!"  The last was a shout.
	"Um," I stammer, only now truly appreciating Akane in full rage, "It was
worth a shot?  Okay, fine, don't answer.  How about 'Why me?'  I've written
only one word!"
	"You would commit the worst crime of all, writing a revenge fic, and
cheating us of the revenge!"  He had me there.  I'd have to argue precedent.
	"But Tom Jefferys got away!" I protested.
	"He didn't plan that, the operatives failed," Akane pointed out.
	"Besides," Ranma put int, "Pop was there.  He messes things up almost as
much as Akane."  Ranma barely dodged Akane's mallet.
	"Ranma!" she growled through clenched teeth.
	"Hey, who made me drop the cure for my curse?" Ranma retorted.  From the
sound of his voice Ranma was still a little bitter about that.  I decided to
sneak away while the two began one of their arguments.  A mallet impacting
with the floor in front of me pointed out I had only focused their attention
back on me.
	"You are _not_ leaving," Akane said.
	"Splash him and lets get on to the next one.  He's not worth any of our
time, and he _won't_ become worthy," Ranma said with a glare towards me.
<Wow, an implied threat.  I wonder if Nabiki wrote him his lines, or he
spent a week thinking it up on his own?> My resentful thoughts were
interrupted with the expected splash of water.  I felt my body tingling and
changing. My view point shot _up_? <Aren't women supposed to be shorter than
men?  I must be six feet tall!>
	Ranma jumped back with a loud shout, and began backing towards the door.
"You were suppose to get the water from the Nyannichuan you stupid tomboy!"
Ranma yelled.
	"Well, the pool was almost empty, so I topped off the bucket with another
spring!"
	"I thought fetching the water was different enough from cooking that you
could do it right!" Ranma shot back, "It's not like you had to boil the
water!  I could understand you screwing up then, but-"
	"Ranma no baka!" Akane shouted and took off after him with her hammer.
Much of the room disintegrated before her fury.
	I ignored the couple staring at my new body.  The breasts I expected (and
I'm sure all you did too), the fur I didn't.  Quickly I checked the mirror.
Blond hair, light fur, green slitted eyes, a tail, impossible curves, and
two ears sticking out on the top of my head.  "YOU TURNED ME INTO A CAT
GIRL?!"  I shouted.
	The number of times I'd wished I was a cat. <But not like this!>  I could
have laughed.  I could have wept.  Instead I got angry.  Two factors
determined my reaction.  One: my clothes were _very_ tight on my new chest,
and taller frame.  Two: I was wet.  I hate being wet, and wet fur feels even
worse than wet skin.
	I growled.  Ranma looked nervous.  
	I bared my teeth.  He began to sweat.  
	"You better hope these claws don't work," I said slowly.  Akane pushed a
button on her belt.  Behind her a rift in the fabric of reality opened, and
the two jumped through.  I didn't follow.  If Ranma didn't have that phobia
I'd be a smear on the floor, and I _didn't_ want to corner him.
	I collapsed on the bed, head in my hands (paws?).  Others had to adjust to
new pronouns, I had to adjust to a new metaspecies. <You're suppose to
change the .sig to fit the person, not the other way around.> I though
flippantly.  Hysteria fluttered at the edge of my mind.   I took a deep
breath. <I wanted to be feline, but the method of acquisition stinks.  Ranma
got used to his curse, I can get used to it if it includes cats.> Another
deep breath. <That doesn't excuse the rampage they've been on.  Something
has to be done.> Deep withing me two fires ignited.  The first was curiosity
about fan fiction dimensional physics.  The second was the need for revenge.
<First things first.  I need hot water.  Then I would eat.  The math was
still due.  Then. . .>
	I had heard rumors of an underground.  Authors who were going to strike
back.  Perhaps I could join them, and find a way to seal off the fan
fiction, a barrier under our control.  We had to prevent this from happening
again.  Or worse, from spreading.  


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|  ("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._                   Bastet's Choosen             |
|   `6_ 6  )   `-.  (     ).`-.__.`)        matthew.lewis@Yale.edu          |
|   (_Y_.)'  ._   )  `._ `. ``-..-' "The difference between a cat and a dog |
| _..`--'_..-_/  /--'_.' ,'              is a cat can bark and doesn't."    |
|(il).-''  (li).'  ((!.-'                               -D.J. Dodd          |
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