"Okay...we have everyone?"

"Ukyo, check...Shampoo and Kodachi, check...Ryoga, Akane, Nabiki,
check...Kasumi?"

"Yes, Ranma?"

"What are you doing here? We're gonna kill a reporter who shoulda stuck to
reporting. Not exactly your scene...."

"I'm the version from the later half of Smoke and Mirrors. And I had this
wonderful tea a few hours ago..."

"Oh."

"I'm sure it's very dirty in there....most dorm rooms are....good thing
Ryoga was nice enough to carry the hydrochloric acid for me...."

"Um. Right. Everyone up on the plan?"

"You kick down the door, then everyone but me kicks the living sh-t out of
him. I take his wallet, checkbook, and anything else that looks valuble."

"Thank you, Nabiki. Okay, on my signal..1....2...3!!!!"

"Loader, Shampoo KILL!"

*CRASH!* The door splintered inward, and the cast of Ranma 1/2 rushed
in....

*click*click*click*slide-kachunk*click*

"Ranma..."

"Yeah, Akane?"

"You picked the wrong room, you bakayarou...."

"No, he got it right for once. But you hit Biles, Gaffney, Lawson, and god
knows who else a while ago. Plenty of time for me to prepare. Meet the
five cubs who lurk on my account. And the guns the pawnshop sold us with
almost no background check whatsoever."

"We could still take out a couple of you...."

"Remember the line I gave you in Smoke and Mirrors?"

"Guns+Martial Arts=Dead Martial Artist?"

"Yup. You have 10 seconds to get your rears back to Nerima. Or we shoot."

"It would be the intelligent thing, but we can't. Matter of honor and all
that. Any last words?"

"Erin Mills picked today to come back."

"Wha?"

"You know. Aftermath. Death of Ukyo. _Chris Willmore's_ cowriter of
TGACFH."

"He'sadeadmankillkillshowhimporkchopskill..."

"Put a sock in it, Pig-boy. Your point?"

"Who would you rather ax? Him, or me?"

"Him."

"Thanks, Ukyo."

"*shrug* You only left me in lingering pain for a few hours, and that
turned out not to happen in the end. Erin, on the other hand..."

"Here's a map to his place."

"I dunno...."

"Two last motivators. First, he hasn't got five pistols and a shotgun
pointed at you. Second, whatever I might have done to you, think what more
I did to Happosai."

"We'll be going now. Stop by the dojo if you're ever in Nerima."

- Mike of No Particular Title or Handle, glad that's over....
===/\=====+==================================================================
  /  \    l   Mike Loader - Lincolnite, Amberite, Illuminatus, Discordian,
 / () \   l      Journalist, Author, Traveler, Historian, Java Fiend.
/      \  l        Trier - LA - LV - Kiev - Reno - Hong Kong. Fnord.
--------  l                    mloader@scs.unr.edu
==========+==================================================================