A Girls Challenge
by David Myers
Disclaimer Jeeze amost forgot this. Characters owned by we all know who,
I know I'm a lazy bastard and I'll probably get sued but shit I'm going
to extreme lengths to avoid this so I might as well say it. Characters
owned by Rumiko Takahashi, author, creator, genius, euthentic whako!
Published by Viz comics and viz video. This is a non profit story and was
written purely because I didn't have anything better to do at the time.
There you are Disclaimed can't sue me Nyaaaaaaaaa ** Author Sticks
Tongue out at world***
Authors Note
Welcome one and all to my new story. I dunno if this one will
work as well as the last, and there are still quite a few details I'm
still yet to work out, but I'll do my best. Enjoy
Chapter1
Ranma, Nabiki and Akane are all walking towards school. Akane is in
her classic pose with bag in front of her legs. Ranma is also in his
usual pose with his hands behind his head as he walks along the
fence line. Nabiki meanwhile is walking discreetly behind the two, with
her nose in the air.
Akane: Been kinda quiet around here for a while, hasn't it?
Ranma: Suppose, at least as quiet as it gets around here.
Akane: Yeah well I .....
Akane stops in mid speech as Ranma falls to the ground. Both Nabiki
and Akane look at Ranma curiously trying to figure out what happened.
They realise Ranma has fallen to the ground in a classic pose due to
the fact that a section of the fence is missing.
Ranma: What the! Hey where the hell did the fence go?
Akane: Looks like someone cut a large chunk out of it.
Ranma: I coulda sworn the fence was all here a minute ago.
Akane: Well, where is it then?
Nabiki: Over there. (points)
A section of the fence is sitting by the side of the road. Doing its
best to try and look inconspicuous.
Ranma: What the?
The fence starts laughing at Ranma.
Fence: Hahahahaha what a klutz. Didn't see that coming did you?
Ranma: huh?
Fence: Ugly Nyaaaa!
Ranma: YOU! Why you, now you pay.
Ranma gets up and starts chasing the fence down the street. The Fence
leads the pursuit laughing maniacally. Passerby's look at the
spectacle curiously.
Ranma: Come back here!
Fence: Wahahahahahahaha
Nabiki: Akane answer me something?
Akane: Yes Nabiki.
Nabiki: What did Ranma do to that fence?
Akane: Thats Tsubasa,one of Ukyou's love interests.
Nabiki: Oh.... Akane how did whats his name fit in that bit of fence?
Akane: Beats me Nabiki, Beats me.
****************************************
The general student body of Furinken high mill about the square in
anticipation of the bell. Ranma has rejoined Akane and the two now
approach the school building. As they do they are joined by Ranma's
friend Daisuke.
Daisuke :Hey Ranma did you hear, starting today we have another
transfer student.
Akane: Another one. (Looking suspiciously at Ranma)
Ranma: Is it a guy or a girl?
Daisuke : A girl, she is supposed to be a real babe.
Ranma: What's her name, anyone know?
Daisuke : Miyaka Tochigi
Ranma: Miyaka, (looks at Akane) Miyaka oh wait I know her, yeah oh,
but wait weren't we supposed to get engaged or something.
************************************************
Kunou stands diligently by the statue of the principal.
Kunou: Ahhh my heart doth do bleed in anticipation of the approach of
my beloved Akane Tendo. Truly one such as I is not worthy of feelings
of such ........
Kunou's sililouquie is cut short by a panicked Ranma as he barrels
through the Kendo swordsman. In hot pursuit is a very steamed Akane,
carrying a rather large mallet.
Ranma: I was kidding! I was kidding! I was kidding! I was kidding!
Akane: Die You!!!
Ranma not looking where he was going collides with a nearby tree.
He understandably stops in his tracks, as the tree cracks, shudders
and falls on top of him. Then as if to finish the job that the tree
started, Akane pounces onto Ranma and starts laying into him with her
mallet. Kunou meanwhile has landed headfirst in the courtyard. Most
people continue on, ignoring him as if such incidents are common
place at this school. One person, however, seems to have taken an
interest in the downed martial artist. The woman before Kunou is
amazingly attractive. Her hair is blonde and is done up in an almost
perfect style only found amongst fashion models. Her makeup has been
applied perfectly. Perhaps most unusual about her are her clothes.
She is wearing a red large gown, that one might wear to the opera.
Young Lady: Oh dear, are you all right.
Kunou: Fear not fair maiden.(Standing up) It will take more than that
to smite Kunou the Blue Thunder of Furinken High.
Young Lady: Oh my, you are just so brave.
Kunou: Of course I am after all this schools most queasant soul. And
who might you be oh great beauty.
By now a number of people have gathered (mostly guys) to stare at the
two.
Young Lady: My name is Miyaka, Miyaka Tochigi I was Miss Martial Arts for
'95 and '96 running.
Kunou: Miss Martial Arts hmmmm, well an angel such as you should not
go unattended. May I have the pleasure of escorting you to your class.
Miyaka: (giggles girlishly) Oh that would be most kind of you.
Guy1: Woah Kunou scored.
Guy2: What a babe!
Guy3: Did she say Miss martial arts?
Girl1: Another martial artist?
Guy2: Way to go Kunou!
Kunou: Please fair lady ignore these miscreants.
Miyaka(Obviously enjoying the attention): Ohh O.K anything you say,
Kunou is it?
Kunou: Indeed I am Tatewaki Kunou the skien of the house of Kunou and
Blue thunder of Furinken High.
In the back ground Ranma and Akane continue their fight, Ranma can be
heard in the distance.
Ranma: I tell you I never heard about her before today.
Akane: And you expect me to believe you?
Ranma: It was a joke! A joke!
Akane: You Liar!!!!
***********************************
Nabiki's teacher stands before the class, Miyaka is by her side. Since
her appearance with Kunou she appears to have changed clothes. She is
now wearing a leather jacket, miniskirt, a tight fitting T-shirt and tall
boots that extend to just below her knees. She looks very sexy in the
outfit, and it is showing a lot of leg. Her hairstyle has changed also,
her hair is now a black colour , and whilst it hasn't been cut it has
been done up to look shorter.
Teacher: Now students we have a new transfer student here today. This is
Miss Miyaka Tochigi I am told that she is a model student. Could you all
make her feel welcome.
Miyaka: Hello, I am Miyaka Tochigi I was the winner of the Miss Martial
Arts beauty pageant for the past two years running.
Guy1: Miss Martial Arts beauty pageant?
Nabiki: I've heard of some strange tournaments before, but thats weird
even by our standards.
Miyaka: At my last school I was the most popular girl at school, and I
hope to reach a similar position at this school.
Nabiki: Not too pretentious.
Teacher: Miyaka there are some teachers at this school that have little
tolerance for that kind of attire. I would suggest that you no longer
wear it to school.
Miyaka: Yes teacher.
************************************
The classes pass quickly and before too long it is lunch time. People
mill about talking to each other, discussing relationships etc. Finally
Kunou gets up from his desk and moves to the back of the class, to where
Miyaka is seated. Once again she has changed clothes. Now she is
wearing a smart school girl uniform.
Guy1: Woah when did she get changed?
Guy2: And why?
Kunou: Ahh sweet Miyaka, I have come bearing good news for thee.
Miyaka: Really? (smiling innocently)
Kunou: I have come to inform you that I am willing to date with your
divine beauty.
Miyaka: Oh wow! I would be delighted to date with you. (giggle)
Nabiki: Well this could prove to be interesting....
Kunou: It is settled then sweet Venus we will date on Friday.
Miyaka: I await that day eagerly. (Thinking) Truly if this idiot is
half as popular as he makes himself out to be then I too will become
popular. My only chance is to date with the most popular man at this
school, obviously this Kunou is the one to whom my attentions should
turn.
Girl1: Hey Ranma's fighting some guy again...
Guy1: Really where?
Girl1: In the courtyard
Nabiki: Oh good grief....
Everyone in the room quickly run out to observe the fight. Miyaka is
left standing in the room looking confused.
Miyaka: Ranma? hmmm he must be very popular?
Nabiki: You have no idea.
Miyaka, Nabiki and Kunou race down into the courtyard where Ranma is
once again fighting with Ryouga.
Ryouga: Ranma! Its time for you to pay for the crimes you have committed
against Akane.
Ranma: What the hell are you talking about?
Ryouga: Again you go and two time her, I'll not allow it. (throws punch)
Ranma: Hey I never even heard of this girl before today. (Dodges punch
and brings around a kick)
Akane: Don't listen to him Ryouga, Ranma's free to do as he wants. I'm
not about to stand in his way.
Ranma: Jeeze when are you people going to realise. I didn't do nuthin.
It was a joke! A joke! (Kicks Ryouga)
Ryouga flies back, landing on his hands and then does a flip and leaps
to his feet.
Ryouga: You have no right to keep treating you fiancee like that, Ranma!
Miss Hinako: Delinquents!
Ranma, Ryouga and just about everyone else look over in panic as the
small girl runs into the courtyard.
Ryouga: We will meet again Ranma and then you will pay!
Ranma, Ryouga and just about everyone else disperse trying to escape from
the psychotic 10 year old with her five yen piece.
Miss Hinako: Come back here! Happo five yen satsu!
Miyaka looks around as the crowd disperses.
Guy1: That Ranma is such a character.
Girl1: He is rather dreamy
Girl2: Ohhh come on he's a creep, he has four girl friends two of which
he's engaged to.
Guy2: Yeah but what a fighter.
Kunou: That damn Soatome, it is he that keeps me from my true loves
Akane Tendo and the Pig tailed girl.
Miyaka: (thinking) Four girl friends. Truly this Ranma is the one to
whom my attentions should turn. He is obviously the most popular male
at this school. If I am to achieve my goal. Ranma will have to be mine.
(To Kunou) We're through.
Kunou: What? But... but... my love.
Miyaka ignores him and walks off
Miyaka: I never want to speak to you again.
Kunou: B.. B... But why. My Venus, my Aphrodite, my queen, my goddess,
my angel, my sweet.... Nooooooooooooooo!
************************************
Akane: A challenge letter?
Ranma: Woah who's it from?
Kasumi: I'm not sure I don't recognise the handwriting.
Ranma: Who'd want to challenge you?
Akane: What did you say?
Ranma: I mean if they wanted a serious challenge no ones about to
challenge you. I mean your good, but we all know who the star of this
Dojo is...
Akane throws a punch at Ranma, who calmly blocks the punch out of the
way, whilst yawning.
Ranma: See what I mean.
Akane: Why you creep.
Akane throws numerous punches and kicks at Ranma, who leaps over all
of them. Ranma sticks out his tongue and pulls his cheeks wide.
Ranma: Nyaaaaa Akane's gonna get creamed, Akane's gonna get creamed!
Akane: DIE RANMA!!!!
Ranma: Nyaaaa ooof
Genma hits Ranma in the back of the head with one of his signs, allowing
Akane the opening she was looking for. She beats Ranma to a pulp.
Panda: <Dont be so cocky>
Akane: Well Ranma, I am going to accept this challenge, for the glory
of the Tendo Dojo. I don't want you interfering you got that.
Ranma: Ha, as if I would bother. Puhlease if I wanted a challenge I'd
hardly fight your opponents would I?
Akane: Well... good. Alright then I better get going.
********************************
Shampoo: Aiiya, Shampoo got challenge letter?
Cologne: Indeed It seems you are to meet at the park at 4:00pm today.
Shampoo: Who it from?
Cologne: Unusual it is not signed.
Shampoo: Shampoo no deny challenge. I make you proud great grandmother.
Cologne: Be careful grand daughter, there is more to this than you
think.
********************************
Delivery boy: Hey lady are you Ukyou Kuonji?
Tsubasa: No thats my darling Ukyou over there. (points to Ukyou)
Delivery boy: Oh yeah thanks. (looks at Tsubasa strangely) Ahhh Miss
letter for you.
Ukyou: Ohh thanks.
Tsubasa: Oh Ukyou its not another admirer is it?
Ukyou: Go away!(Reading the letter) Ukyou Kuonji, meet me in the park
at 4:00pm to discuss the terms of your surrender. My surrender,
surrender from what?
Tsubasa: I think its a challenge. Ohh my darling Ukyou, I will accept
this ....
Ukyou slams Tsubasa with her spatula, throwing him from the restaurant
into the street.
Ukyou: Hmmm a challenge.. better close up early.
********************************
Kunou is walking down the street in the rain. Sasuke is by his side
with an Umbrella.
Sasuke: Master Kunou, Master Kunou, Please snap out of it Master Kunou!
Kunou: Ohhh Satsuke, mine heart has been shattered. Truly the fair
Miyaka has left me a broken man. I ... I will never love again...
Sasuke: Master.. no....
Kunou:It is true my heart has broken I shall never again....(Looking up)
Oh Pig tailed girl my love!
Kunou Runs off down the street to the female Ranma.
Kunou: Oh forgive me my love, my heart has strayed from you. Truly I
have paid the price for my transgression. (grabs Ranma) Only a kiss
from your sultry lips can revitalise me.
Ranma: You want a kiss. Kiss this!!! (Punches Kunou in the mouth)
Sasuke watches as Kunou flies overhead.
Ranma: Dumb Pop! Akane can take care of herself. Still it wont hurt
to check up on her. Where did she say that challenge was supposed to be.
Ohhh yeah at school at 4:30pm. Odd most challenges are made in the park.
Ohhh well...
Kunou: Oh her love for me doth know no bounds!
***********************************
Akane stands ready and waiting in the park. She is wearing a martial
arts doki, with a head band.
Akane(thinking): Heh with those directions I gave Ranma there is no way
he is going to interfere with me this time.
As she waits Shampoo carrying an umbrella, leaps onto the scene.
Shampoo: Hiya Akane Tendo, you one who challenge Shampoo?
Akane: Shampoo I should have known. How dare you challenge me like that.
Shampoo: Shampoo no challenge you.
Akane (looking confused): You didn't?
Ukyou: Hey what are you two doing here?
Akane: Ukyou, you too?
Ukyou: Hey this is weird.
Shampoo: Who challenge all of us at same time.
Kodachi: Ahhahahahahahahahahaha. So the mice have all decided to gang
up on me have they?
Akane: Kodachi?
Ukyou: Did some one challenge you too Kodachi?
Shampoo: Aiiya, what going on?
Miyaka: Ahhh I see that almost all of you are here.
Miyaka is standing before them , she is wearing a tight fitting leotard
not unlike Kodachi's
Akane: You! I knew Ranma was lying!
Ukyou: Hey who the hell are you?
Miyaka: I am Miyaka Tochigi Miss Martial Arts for '95 and '96.
Kodachi: And you dare to challenge I?
Miyaka: I have come to challenge you all, since you are all the love
interests of Ranma Saotome. Only the red haired pig tailed girl is
missing.
Akane, Ukyou and Shampoo look at each other.
Akane: I knew he was lying!
Miyaka: Although I have never met Ranma..(Akane looks surprised) he
is obviously the most popular boy at the Furinken High. And only by
dating the most popular guy will I become the most popular girl at
school.
Ukyou: (To Shampoo) And I thought you were weird.
Miyaka: Hence I offer you the chance to settle your disputes to see who
amongst you will be Ranma's one true lover.
Shampoo: Aiiya how?
Miyaka: By holding a Miss Martial Arts Beauty Pageant.
Ukyou: A what?
Miyaka: A Beauty Pageant, only the best looking amongst us should be
allowed to date with Ranma. Don't you agree?
Akane: Forget it you can have him for all I care.
Miyaka: Ahhh so you concede defeat already, truly that was your wisest
course. You would only have been defeated.
Akane: What did you say?
Miyaka: I don't think you could have won the contest. I would have
beaten you easily.
Akane: Oh I see. You think your better looking than I am do you?
Miyaka: Well.. obviously...
Akane: Forget it sister, I'm in.
Shampoo: Shampoo will easily beat you and then take Ranma all for own
self.
Ukyou: Hey this doesn't make any sense, there should be more to this
than just beauty. I mean what about love?
Miyaka: Pah who cares about love, only popularity is important.
Ukyou: (thinking) If she wins the contest, Ranchan will be doomed to a
loveless relationship for life. I can't let that happen. (out-loud)
Count me in sugar.
Kodachi: I too will compete, and I will defeat you all! Ahahahahahahaha
Miyaka: It is settled then we will (A shadow begins to fall over her)
do battle in a week I will make the appropriate ... what the arrrgghh
Miyaka jumps out of the way as a large boulder lands where she was.
Amazingly her hair and makeup are not disturbed. Nor does any of the
mud land on her clothes.
Miyaka: What is going on here?
Boulder: I wont allow you to hurt Ukyou!
Tsubasa's head pops out of the boulder.
Ukyou: Tsubasa!!!!!
Tsubasa: I.... wow your a real dream boat.
Miyaka: Of course! Which is why I shall win the beauty pageant.
Tsubasa: A beauty pageant!!! Oh wow can I be in it?
Ukyou: Tsubasa! You can't enter the beauty pageant.
Miyaka: Why not?
Ukyou: Because he is a boy.
Miyaka: Dont be ridiculous. You obviously fear that this young lady will
defeat you. I on the other hand have no such fear. You may enter the
Pageant at your own risk.
Tsubasa: Yaaaay!!
Everyone else falls to the ground in shock.
Miyaka: I will contact each of you with details of the upcoming event.
***************************************
Ranma is sitting on the wall outside the Furinken High. It has stopped
raining and she does not seem very happy about being there.
Ranma: Damn where is that girl. Damn her for not showing up.
Ranma leaps from the wall and starts walking back home. After a few
streets she is stopped by a voice from the shadows.
Miyaka: Hmmm so you are the pig tailed girl of which Kunou speaks of.
Ranma: Wha?
Miyaka: Greetings
Miyaka steps from the shadows. Once again she has changed outfit and
is wearing a tight little Chinese number. Her hair is done up in a tight
bun on either side of her head.
Ranma: Oh hey your that new exchange student.
Ranma continues walking towards the Dojo, Miyaka follows.
Miyaka: Yes I am Miyaka Tochigi Miss Martial Arts for '95 and '96
running and you are the pig tailed girl. Ranma Saotomes fifth love.
Ranma: My fifth.... what are are you talking about?
Miyaka: I have come to challenge you, to win the heart of Ranma
Saotome.
Ranma: You challenge me? I accept!
Miyaka: Yes, I challenge you as I challenged all of his other loves
to a Martial arts beauty pageant. The winner gets to be Ranma
Saotome's true love.
Ranma: My... I mean his true love. Wait a sec did you say beauty pageant.
Miyaka: Indeed.
Ranma: Who said yes?
Miyaka: They all did, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou, Kodachi, Tsubasa.
Ranma: Tsubasa.. Wait no forget it, I've done some weird things in my
time, but I aint competing in no stinkin beauty pageant. Martial arts or
no. Those things are for girls.
Miyaka (looking confused): So you concede defeat.
Ranma(moves over threateningly in front of Miyaka): I 'aint concedin to
nuthin. I just 'aint gunna compete in no beauty pageant. I gotta draw
the line somewhere.
The two are now standing in front of the Dojo. Nabiki is sitting on the
step looking at them curiously.
Miyaka: Very well, should I win you agree not to challenge my love for
Ranma.
Ranma: (laughing) Hey you will get no challenges on that score from me
sister. Of course he is yet to say yes....
Nabiki: Hey Miyaka, I thought you were dating Kunou.
Miyaka: Oh him, Kunou is yesterdays news.
Nabiki: And I thought Ranma moved fast. You didn't even know Kunou
yesterday.
Miyaka: Yes well, such is the nature of love.
Nabiki: Whatever?
Miyaka: Farewell then Pig tailed girl. Ranma will soon be mine
wahahahahahaha.
Ranma: Jeeze not another one.
Soun: What was that all about son?
Ranma: Ohh the new exchange student wanted to challenge me to some
martial arts beauty pageant.
Soun looks very alarmed at this.
Soun: Did you say martial arts beauty pageant.
Ranma: Yeppers! I turned her down.
Soun: (looking relieved, then confused) Why?
Ranma: Oh come on Mr Tendo, you don't honestly expect me to compete
in some beauty contest. I mean they are just for girls. All you do
is stand there and look pretty. There's no skill involved at all.
Soun: Ranma have you ever seen a Martial Arts Beauty Pageant?
Ranma: Well no...
Soun: You were wise to turn it down, come I taped the 1990 beauty pageant.
I think I may still have it on tape.
They all move into the living room, where Soun fishes out a tape and puts
it on. Everyone sits down in front of the T.V. The announcers voice can
be heard, but the screen cannot be seen.
Announcer: We wish to advice viewers that this program contains scenes
of extreme violence, that some viewers may find offencive.
The crowd watches the television. Ranma's face is initially one of
boredom. After a minute she frowns, then she looks concerned. Concern
changes to shock, shock to anger, to fear, to horror, to disgust.
Genma: Turn it off!!! Turn it off!!! I cant take it any more.
Nabiki: Good lord.
Kasumi: Oh my.
Genma: I had no idea that Martial Arts could be used for such...
such... evil!
Soun: I have seen hell and thy name is Martial Arts beauty Pageant.
Ranma: Akane is going to get creamed!
Soun: WWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ranma: That girl Miyaka said that Akane, Ukyou and the others had already
accepted the challenge.
Soun starts crying buckets.
Soun: My little girl.
Kasumi: Oh my I better get the mop.
****************************************
Chapter2
Soun, Genma, Ranma (Both Male and Human) Kasumi and Nabiki are all sitting
around the table. Ranma and Soun seem to be having a heated argument.
Soun: Son, Martial Arts Beauty Pageants are by far the most ruthless and cut
throat of all the Martial arts. If Akane goes onto that stage, she'll
be humiliated. You must enter the contest and protect her.
Ranma: Forget it! I already told you. I 'aint doin it! I'm not entering
no Beauty contest. She'll have to take care of herself.
Soun: Son, if that is your view then... I must respect it. (Stands up)
The course is clear you leave me no choice.
Soun walks out of the room, leaving everyone else looking after him. Genma
punches Ranma in the crown of the head.
Ranma: What did you do that for?
Genma: How dare you abandon you fiancee like that. What kinda man are you.
Ranma: The kind that doesn't end up in beauty pageants. I'm telling you pop
I gotta draw the line somewhere, and this is where its going to be.
Genma: Then.... Akane will be lost to us.
Ranma: Ahhh don't over react, she'll be fine. Whats the worst they can do
to her.
Soun re-enters the room wearing, a very tight blue womens Sunday dress, a
Sunday frilly hat, lipstick and badly applied blush. His hair is done up
in pony tails, however, his moustache gives away the fact that he is
definitely a man.
Soun: If Ranma will not protect Akane, then I will have to enter the
competition myself! (Starts crying) No sacrifice is too great for my little
girl.
Everyone falls to the ground in shock.
Nabiki: Oh good grief daddy!
Kasumi: Oh father, father, father, father.
Genma(crying): What a man you are Tendo, what a man!
Ranma(smirking): You.. ah.. look.. well really nice Mr Tendo, I'm sure
you will win!
Soun: Ranma do you think so?
Ranma: No! (Bursts out laughing)
Soun: I see...
*****************************************
Akane is walking home towards the dojo.
Akane: Hmmm if she thinks that she's going to beat me that easy, she's got
another thing coming!
Akane's thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of a fight on the other side
of the Dojo wall. She quickly skirts around to the challengers entrance to
see Soun dressed in womens clothes and holding a very large mallet chasing
after Ranma.
Soun: DIE RANMA!!!
Ranma: AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nabiki:Oh well he had it coming!
Kasumi: Father looks so much like Akane.
Genma(At some point has changed into a panda): <More rice, please>
Akane: There is no way I'm related to these people. (Yelling) WHAT THE HECK
IS GOING ON HERE?
Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at Akane.
Kasumi: Oh welcome home Akane.
Soun: My little girl.
Akane: Daaaad what are you doing in a dress. Wait your wearing my dress.
Ranma: And a body to match.
WHAM!!!
Akane: Dad what are you doing in my clothes?
Soun: Akane! Please forgive your foolish father, but I cannot allow you to
enter that beauty pageant without protection.
Akane: You know about that?
Soun: Yes that girl...
Akane: Miyaka.
Soun: Challenged Ranma as well, but he turned her down.
Akane(amazed): Ranma, turned down a challenge.
Ranma(From within a rather deep impression in the wall): There is no way I'm
going to enter into a beauty pageant.
Akane: ohhh Daaad.
**************************
Kunou is sitting by the pool at the Kunou mansion. He is seated in the
position of the thinker and as usual is torturing himself over his various
love interests.
Kunou(thinking): Why? Oh why have you forsaken me my love? Truly ours is a
love that will echo through the ages, why then have you spurned my
admirations?
An image of Kunou pursuing Miyaka appears. She is coyly trying to escape
from him, whilst encouraging his pursuits.
Miyaka Image: Ohhh Kunou come and get me.
Kunou Image: Oh my love...
Miyaka Image: You have to catch me first.
Kunou stands up in realisation
Kunou: Of course! She is playing hard to get. It all makes sense, she does
not want to seem easy to me and so is testing my love. Oh how noble! I
will not fail you my fair Miyaka.
Kodachi: Did you say Miyaka, brother dearest?
Kunou: You! Speak not her name charlatan witch!
Kodachi: Oh so you are familiar with her.
Kunou: How do you know of my love?
Kodachi(smirking): Well brother dearest, the heritan has challenged myself
and some other girls to a contest. Is that not laughable. Ahahahahahahahaha
Kunou: A contest... of course.
Another Image of Miyaka standing before Kodachi, Ranma Chan and Akane
appears, everyone except Kodachi is wearing very skimpy clothing.
Miyaka Image: You are not fit to call yourselves my beloved's girlfriends.
I challenge you to a contest to win the love of... upper class man Kunou!!
Ranma Image: Never you will not steal away my love.
Akane Image: No you shall not have him.
Kunou Snaps out of it.
Kunou: Ahh a contest no doubt to win my affections. She must love me well.
What is the nature of this contest?
Kodachi: Its a beauty pageant and I'm afraid its not to win your affections,
but rather Ranma darling's.
Kunou's face becomes black with fury.
Kunou: RANMA!! That vile sorcerer has stolen my beloveds heart. What spell,
what trickery has he at his command. Has he no honour.
Another Image of Ranma standing over a harem of women all chained to a post
by their collars. He stands in the middle of a pentagram and is wearing
a witches hat and warlock's robe. Surrounding him, are Ranma-Chan, Akane,
Shampoo, Ukyou, and Miyaka. He is standing in the pentagram laughing
evilly.
Ranma Image: MUHUHAHAHAHAHAAHA You are all my slaves, bound to me body and
soul MUHUHAHAHAHAHA.
All the women simultaneously: Yes my master.
A tear swells up in the eye of Miyaka.
Kunou(Outraged): That infidel. I will not allow his evil magic's to enslave
those women any longer. I have tolerated his presence in this city long
enough. It is time for revenge most foul!! (looking at Kodachi) Fear not
my sister, he knows that I protect you and as such will not violate you as
he as these others. It is his fear of my abilities that keeps him in check.
And it will be those abilities that will bring about his destruction.
AHhahahahahahahahaha I am coming my loves.
Kunou leaps out of the Mansions grounds. Kodachi watches after him.
Kodachi: Hmm I must prepare for the upcoming tournament. But first I must
discover where sweet Miyaka lives. Ahahahahahaha!!
***************************************
The Tendo and Saotome family are seated around the table. Soun has not
changed clothes and is still wearing the Sunday dress which looks like it's
ruined. Ranma is currently male and Genma is currently a Panda. The door
to the garden is closed.
Ranma: If she says she can take care of herself let her.
Akane: Ranma's right, for once. I'm a martial artist too you know, I can
handle this.
Soun: No! I wont allow it. I'm begging you son, you've got to take care
of my little girl.
Akane I still can't believe you wore my best Sunday dress, its probably all
stretched and ruined by now.
Ranma: I dunno it might not be....
Akane hits Ranma with the table. There is a knock at the door.
Kasumi: Oh my, someone's at the door.. Coming!
Ranma: What did you do that for?
Akane: As if you need to ask!
Kasumi reappears at the door.
Kasumi: Look father we have a visitor, its Auntie Saotome.
Ranma immediately looks around the table for a glass of water, not finding
any he leaps onto his fathers back and hides there. Genma positions himself
so that he is facing the door. Nodoka Saotome walks into the room.
Nodoka(Bowing): Good evening everyone, why hello, hello, oh it's Mr Panda,
is Ranko here?
Soun: Mrs Saotome how good to see you.
Nodoka: Excuse my rudeness but why is Akane holding that table up like
that?
Soun leaps up and starts greeting her. Akane puts down the table. Genma
meanwhile gets up and starts sliding towards the door. Ranma is perched on
his back sweating profusely.
Nodoka: Oh don't tell me I've missed them again.
Soun: I'm afraid so Mrs Saotome, but please come in.
A very sweating Panda gives Soun a dirty look, and after sliding open the
door to the garden, steps backwards and then closes the door again. After a
few seconds a splash is heard.
Ranma Chan: Oh it's Auntie Saotome.
Nodoka: Why Ranko, hello. Mr Tendo, excuse me for asking but why are you
wearing a dress?(looks stern) Have I interrupted something?
Soun: Ahhh let me explain.
**********************************
Nodoka: So you fear that Akane may get hurt in this competition.
Soun: Thats right.
Akane: Isn't he being silly auntie?
Nodoka: No Akane he's not. These beauty Pageants are very dangerous. I
myself have competed in one in the past.
Akane: You have?
Panda: <Thats right you have>
Nodoka looks at him suspiciously.
Panda: <That is to say..> He spins the sign <Your the type of beautiful
woman...> spins <Who would enter a beauty Pageant>
Nodoka looks confused, over whether she didn't understand what he said or
the fact that the sign had four sides can't be determined.
Nodoka: Anyway it was one of the more horrific incidences of my youth.
Akane: Really?
Nodoka: Yes of course. Hmmm Oh I have the answer, its so obvious, why not
let Ranko compete.
Soun: Yes of course (looking sly) Why didn't I think of that?
Ranma: Hey now I don't wanna compete....
Soun: Why not?
Nodoka: Yes why not?
Panda: <Yes Why not?>
Ranma: Because.. I.. well... that is to say.. I just wouldn't. You said
yourself how dangerous they are.
Nodoka: Yes but I didn't have anyone watching my back, and I wasn't properly
trained. I can provide you with suitable training, for the event if you
would like. After that, with the two of you together you'll do just fine.
Soun: Do you mean it Mrs Saotome? Can you really train my little girl?
Nodoka: Of course. Well Ranko?
Ranma: Ah er.. I.. alright. At least its Martial arts...
Suddenly the door bursts open and Kunou leaps through Boken ready.
Kunou: Where is he?
Nabiki: Who ever do you mean Kunou baby?
Kunou: Saotome? Where is the fiend?
Nodoka(standing up): And who are you referring to?
Kunou: I refer to that sorcerer who has enslaved my beloveds heart! Ranma
Saotome. And who might you be?
Nodoka: I might be Ranma's mother.
Kunou (amazed): His mother?
Nodoka: Thats right. Who are you.
Kunou: I am Tatewaki Kunou the Blue Thunder of Furinkan high. I have come
here today to smite Ranma Saotome and free my beloved's.
Nodoka: Free them from what?
Ranma: Ahhh don't listen to this guy Mo... I mean Auntie, (whispering to her)
He's a bit on the loony side.
Kunou: Oh pig tailed girl, no longer will I allow that cretin to lord over
you, Akane Tendo or Miyaka Tochigi.
Nodoka: Lord over?
Akane: Allow me. Kunou GET LOST!!!! (punches him into orbit)
Nodoka: Ranko was that your boyfriends.
Ranma: No! No! No! Definitely not, uh uh no way.
Nodoka(smiling Knowingly): I see.
Ranma: Are you crazy, why the hell would I wanna date a boy?
Nodoka: Not to worry Ranko, I'm sure you will feel very different when
you meet the right man.
Ranma: Not bloody likely.
Nodoka: So was he talking about, when he referred to my son?
Akane: Let me explain....
*******************************************
Nodoka: It settled then, the two of you will come tomorrow to the Saotome
house and we will begin your training. Don't worry Ranko I'm sure you will
do just fine.
Ranma: Yeah great....
The phone starts ringing. The giant panda turns around and picks it up. He
sits there listening to the receiver for a minute, whilst everyone just looks
at him.
Panda:<Sorry I forgot> Spin <Panda's can't talk> spin <Its for you Akane>
Voice on phone: Hello.. hello...
Akane: Yes?
Soun: He ahhh does that from time to time....
Nodoka looks at him curiously.
Akane: Auntie the match is set for next week on Wednesday.
Nodoka: Very well that should give us plenty of time.
Akane: I'll see you tomorrow then Auntie.
Nodoka: I look forward to it dear. I assume that I will see you also
Ranko.
Ranma: Do I have a choice?
Nodoka leaves Kasumi shows her out. Akane and Ranma head up to their rooms.
Akane: Why do you always have to interfere? This was my fight!
Ranma: Hey I got railroaded into this, don't blame me.
Akane: Face it Ranma you wanted to enter this.
Ranma: Puhlease! Tell me how was I supposed to get out of it? Tell me,
please...
Their voices disappear upstairs. Leaving only Soun and the Panda in the
living room.
Panda: <That was a close one>
Soun: I don't think you realise how close. Saotome, do you realise some of
the implications of this fight.
Panda: < What?>
Soun: You saw what they do to each other up there. If that happens to Akane,
what will that do to their relationship. Tension between those two is high
enough already if one of those other girls should win and claim to be his
one true love...
Panda:< What are you thinking?>
Soun: They must not only win, but they must get out of there without a
scratch on them. If they can't do that, if Akane loses she will do the
honourable thing and break up with Ranma, if that happens all will be
lost.
Panda:< You may be right>
Soun: They must win, this is their, this is our, greatest challenge yet....
**********************************
Kodachi waits patiently suspended from the roof. She appears to be in a
very tidy room. Throughout the room are hundreds upon hundreds of various
dresses, and other items of clothing. A large make up table dominates one
side of the room, whilst an even larger cupboard dominates another. Kodachi
is holding a mallet whilst being suspended from the roof and it is clear she
is waiting for someone. After a few minutes the door opens and Miyaka enters
the room. She is wearing a very stylish silk nightie, with a silk dressing
gown over it. Her slippers also seem to be expensive. Once again her make
up is applied perfectly and not a hair is out of place. Kodachi smiles as
Miyaka unsuspectingly moves over to her make up table. She sits down and
starts applying night cream to her face.
Kodachi(thinking): Hehehehe soon my dear. Very soon you will discover the
true terror of dealing with the Black Rose of St Bacchus' school for girls.
Then dear Ranma will be all mine.
Miyaka finishes applying the cream to her face and then opens a jewelry box.
Surprisingly inside the box is a button. Miyaka presses the button, and a
set of arm and leg restraints click into place en-trapping Kodachi helplessly
to the roof.
Kodachi: Wha?
Miyaka: Hahahahaha foolish girl, did you honestly think you could get by my
defences?
Kodachi: Release me immediately!
Miyaka: I think not. Subterfuge is such common practice in Martial arts
Beauty Pageants. I was expecting at least one of you to try something like
this.
Kodachi: Let me go! Let me go!
Miyaka: Hahahahahahaha you are such an amateur, truly you need to be
punished, and I am well practised in the arts of disciplining intruders.
(Evil smile)
Kodachi: What are you going to do. No.. No...
>From out side the mansion and throughout the street everyone stops as they
hear a blood curdling scream.
Kodachi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*************************************
Shampoo: Great grandmother I home.
Cologne: Welcome back Shampoo, how was your challenge.
Shampoo: She challenged me to Martial Arts Beauty Pageant.
Cologne: She what?
Shampoo: Is true!
Cologne: Foolish girl, she has no comprehension of your skills.
Shampoo: Gets better.
Cologne: Really?
Shampoo: Prise is to be Ranma's one true love.
Cologne(laughing): Then I assume that my Son in Laws other love interests
will be competing. (Shampoo nods) Well then, you must humiliate them, so
that Ranma will only have eyes for you.
Shampoo: Is too too easy.
Cologne: Careful grand daughter, your skills are extensive, but you must
not get too cocky. We must begin your training at once. Mousse!
Mousse: Yes?
Cologne: I need you to train with Shampoo.
Mousse(running over): Do you mean it, of course. (grabs Cologne) C'mon
Shampoo lets go.
Shampoo: Ah Mousse I over here.
Mousse: Oh sorry, so ah what are we training for?
Shampoo: (giggle) Martial Arts Beauty Pageant.
Mousse: What.. no... not that... I ..
Cologne: Come now Mousse, if you defeat Shampoo, she will have to marry
you.
Pause
Mousse(scowling): I hate you!
Cologne: I'm so glad.
**********************************
Ranma sat on the roof to the Dojo looking up at the stars.
Ranma: How do I let myself get talked into these things. I don't want to
enter no stupid Beauty contest. Martial Arts or no. Oh well no getting out
of it now.
He looks down into the backyard garden to see a figure fall from the fence
line into the garden.
Ranma: What the? A burglar?
The figure gets up and moving through the shadows starts approaching the
Dojo. It doesn't appear to be moving stealthily , in fact the movements are
clumsy and awkward. Nether the less Ranma leaps into action. With a simple
movement he leaps from the roof, doing a quick summersault and twist lands
behind the figure.
Ranma: Can I help you? (moving into a fighting position)
Kodachi: Ranma darlinnnnggggg.......
She falls to the ground. Ranma leaps to her side and then falls back in
shock. Kodachi is in a hideous state. Her chin and lip have been
highlighted using mascara to give the impression that she has a moustache
and beard. Her lipstick has been applied badly, giving her the impression
of having a bloody lip. The bow in her hair is cut to shreds and her hair
itself has been cut badly. One of her eyebrows has been shaved off, and
eye liner has been badly applied giving her a bloodshot eye. Her nose has
been pierced and a small padlock inserted in the pierce, her clothes are
in tatters and her normally manicured nails have been cut by what looks like
a carving knife. Even though she has no physical injuries she looks
absolutely hideous.
Ranma: Good god! Kasumi, Pop, Mr Tendo get out here quick.
The other come running out quickly. They join Ranma and all fall back in
disgust at seeing Kodachi. Kasumi feints in Soun's arms.
Soun: Kasumi! Kasumi!
Ranma: C'mon pop we gotta get her into the house.
Genma:< hmmm the Ultimate Make-over Strike>
Ranma: Whatever, we gotta clean her up. AKANE! AKANE WE NEED YOU!
Akane(angry): What is it Ranma!
Ranma: We gotta help Kodachi.
Akane: Oh wow, is she O.K.
Ranma: We gotta clean her up c'mon.
************************************
Mousse crawls out of the training area and into his room. His hair is
currently every single putrid colour known to man, it is sticking up at
right angles to each part of his head. He looks like a really bad punk.
His glasses have make up and lipstick on them, as does his face and clothes.
His Chinese cloak,, is tattered and as he walks up the stairs knives,
throwing stars, roller skates, cards, flowers, ping pong bats and various
other items fall out of his sleeves. On his face written in makeup are
several words like
"Dope"
"Buffoon"
"Duckboy"
"Ha Ha"
"Cologne was here"
"Loser"
Mousse: Why do I put up with this?
**********************************
Nabiki enters her class room and moves over to her table by the window. Over
in a corner a number of guys are throwing money onto a table.
Guy1: Business suit..
Guy2: No way, that chinese number.
Guy3: Ha you're both wrong..
Guy2: Well what then?
Guy3: O.K I'm going to go out here on a limb...
Guy2: yeah?
Guy3: Battle Armour, latest thing.
Guy2: You idiot.
Nabiki: What are you talking about?
Guy1: Oh hi Nabiki, we're placing bets on what that new exchange student will
be wearing today.
Nabiki: Your what?
Guy1: Haven't you noticed, she is always changing clothes, we are running a
pool. Wanna join?
Nabiki: How much is in the pot?
Guy2: About 2000 Yen.
Nabiki: How much to play?
Guy3: 200 yen.
Nabiki: O.K (placing money on table) I'll go school uniform.
Guy2: You sure, she wore that last week.
Nabiki: It's more likely than battle armour....
Guy4: Here she comes...
Everyone eagerly waits by the door. Finally Miyaka enters wearing....
a swimsuit. Everyone groans and throws their money into the pot.
Guy2: Oh well guess it Jackpots till tomorrow.
Nabiki: Isn't she cold in that?
Miyaka enters and takes her seat by the corner. She smiles at all the boys
who give her approving looks. After a few minutes there is a commotion
outside, and Ranma storms into the room. Everyone looks at him as he stops
by the door. He surveys the room until he spots his quarry and stalks over
to Miyaka.
Nabiki: Ranma?
Ranma: You! Yeah Miyaka I'm talking to you.
Miyaka: Oh Ranma, have you come to proclaim your love to me?
Ranma: Hardly, I saw what you did to Kodachi!
Miyaka: Oh whatever are you talking about?
Ranma: Don't play dumb with me girly. Kodachi may be a violent psychopath
who belongs in a mental institution, but she is still my friend.
Nabiki(Under her breath): And that just speaks volumes about Ranma's character.
Ranma: If you think that your going to get away with that, you got another
thing coming.
Miyaka: But Ranma my sweet all's fair in love and war.
Ranma: I'm warning you ! If you even come near Akane, you won't live to
regret it!
Ranma storms out of the room as everyone starts murmuring.
Miyaka(thinking): So the fool is in love with the youngest Tendo girl. Ha
after I'm through with her. He'll never be able to look at her ever again!
***************************************
Chapter 3
Ranma and Akane are walking along the street obviously heading home
from school.
Akane: I'm looking forward to this. I haven't trained seriously in a long
time.
Ranma: Yeah well, this 'aint going to be no pushover training session, we
should grab something to eat before we go.
Akane: Yeah might not be a bad idea.
Ranma: 'sides I still gotta change into my girl side.
Akane: Where do you wanna go?
Ranma: The Neko Hanten is on the way..
Akane: O.K. Uh Ranma?
Ranma: Yeah?
Akane: I heard about what you said about Kodachi to Miyaka.
Ranma: So....
Akane: Well, do you really regard her as one of your friends.
Ranma: Not really...
Akane: Then why did you say that she was?
Ranma doesn't answer.
Akane: Oh I see, she's something more is she?
Ranma: Don't be so paranoid!
Akane: What did you call me?
Ranma: I called you paranoid, stupid!
Akane: Paranoid, well what am I expected to think.
Ranma: And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Akane: Just forget it Ranma, just forget it!
Ranma: Thats fine with me!
Akane: Good!
Ranma: Fine!
Akane: Fine!
Ranma: Lets just go eat!
Akane: Good.
**********************************
Miyaka is walking down the street surrounded by guys in Furinken high
uniforms. She is wearing, the latest in Ninja wear, and it is rather a
snug fit.
Guy1: So your not going out with Kunou anymore?
Guy2: Will you go out with one of us?
Miyaka: Tee hee hee, you boys are so silly.
Guy3: Can you gives us your phone number?
Guy4: What about your measurements?
Guy5(to Guy6): I thought she said Ranma was after her?
Guy6(to guy5): Naaah He blew her up this morning. She's available!
Guy5: Cool!
Miyaka: Oh you! Tee hee!
A shadow suddenly falls over the group. Standing atop the roof of a nearby
house, a familiar looking Kendo swordsman's silhouette stands in the
sunlight, looking dramatic.
Kunou: Truly, these ruffians, do disturb you, and thus the damsel in distress
calls out to her one true love. Fear not my angel your saviour has arrived
to protect you and smite thine enemies.
Kunou leaps off the rooftop and boken in hand flies towards the group
threateningly.
Kunou: Have at thee fiends of darkness!
Guy3: I think he's talking about us!
Guy5: Run for it!
The entire pack of guys beat a hasty retreat.
Kunou: HAHAHAHA their hold on you is gone. Come let us date!
Miyaka slaps Kunou across the face. Kunou startled holds his hand to his
cheek.
Miyaka: How dare you interrupt me. What must I do to get through to you.
You are as stupid as you are ugly.
Kunou(shattered): My love?
Miyaka: I hate you! Leave me alone.
Miyaka turns and walks off down the street leaving a shattered Kunou behind.
*********************************************
The door chime goes off as Ranma and Akane enter the Neko Hanten.
Shampoo: Nihoa Ranma!
Ranma: Yo Shampoo!
Akane: Can we grab a small order of Ramen?
Mousse: Sure thing!
Mousse gets up and walks strait into the pot plant.
Mousse: Oh excuse me.
He still hasn't managed to get all the dye out of his hair and as such looks
like a bit of a hippy.
Ranma: So Shampoo, you competing in this ridiculous contest as well?
Shampoo(nods affirmatively): mmm hmmm. Shampoo beat all other suitors, then
Shampoo marry Ranma, and we live happily ever after! Yes?
Akane's face visibly darken.
Ranma: Sorry to disappoint you Shampoo, but I'm afraid I'm going to be
competing in this as well. (Ranma holds up a glass of water and tipping it
on his head turns into Ranma-Chan) So you don't stand a hope of winning.
Shampoo : Is no problem, Shampoo beat Ranma too.
Akane(coldly): You seem awfully sure of yourself.
Ranma: Yeah, c'mon Shampoo, you haven't managed to defeat me once in combat,
what makes you think you can beat me this time?
Shampoo: Martial Arts Beauty Pageant is basis for Amazon training!
Both Ranma and Akane look surprised.
Ranma: What?
Shampoo: Why you think we have funny names?
Akane: You mean?
Cologne: Thats right, we are named after womens hygiene products, not because
of some bad joke in translation, but rather because we specialise in those
products in our beauty pageants competitions. Shampoo is by far the most
capable warrior in our tribe,and in these contests. She has never been
beaten, and our tribe is without peer in Martial arts beauty pageants.
Akane: She's that good?
Ranma: Oh c'mon now. She can't be that good!
Shampoo's arms become a blurs as she sweeps her hands in front of Ranma's
face twice. Within 2.33 seconds Ranma's entire face is covered in makeup,
that has been applied perfectly. Ranma looks at herself in shock in the
mirror.
Akane: Wow!
Ranma: Not bad, not bad at all. Oh well I wouldn't wanna win this too easy
anyway. (She grabs the food) C'mon Akane we'll be late for our training.
Shampoo: Bye bye!
Akane: Gee Ranma we could be in a bit of trouble here.
Ranma: Ahh don't sweat it Akane, she will have to hit us first. Besides we
are about to be trained by one of the best.
Akane: I dunno....
*******************************************
Akane and Ranma-Chan are seated on the floor to what looks like a dojo.
Ranma has cleaned up her face. Nodoka is standing in front of them with
the sculpture of a head besides her. The face of the head has several points
marked out, on the cheek bones, nose, mouth and various other parts of the
face.
Nodoka: Martial Arts Beauty contests, as you know are highly demanding. The
aim of the contest, is to humiliate your opponent by using womens accessories.
Akane: Auntie?
Nodoka: Yes dear.
Akane: I have a problem with this.
Ranma: So do I.
Nodoka: Whats wrong girls?
Ranma: Well its just that...
Akane: The Tendo school of Martial arts is based on the foundation of
protecting the frail and weak...
Ranma: If we enter into a contest that is designed to humiliate your opponent
then we would violate all of our teachings and principles.
Akane looks at Ranma a little surprised, and Nodoka's eyes shine with pride.
Nodoka: Oh girls I'm so proud of you. Allow me to continue. The basis of
most techniques is to apply good make-up badly. I will teach you the Saotome
technique of applying bad make up well. Thus it will be clear that you have
defeated your opponent, but you wont have humiliated them.
Ranma: I can live with that.
Akane: Won't that make it harder for us.
Nodoka: Unfortunately dear yes. Now as with the human body. The womens face
contains pressure points, that are especially vulnerable to attack. This face
(indicating the sculpture) is marked with the 22 makeup points. I will teach
you to attack these points with the appropriate weapons so as to defeat your
opponents. I have these (She holds up three mascarade masks) which we will
use as protection.
Nodoka starts to lecture the two girls on the appropriate points to attack.
*********************************
Nodoka: No no no Ranko, you must be more feminine, feminine. This is still a
beauty contest after all.
Ranma: WHAT AM I DOING WRONG DAMMIT!
Nodoka: Well for one thing, you are not swinging your hips. You walk to much
like a boy.
Ranma: But I like how I walk.
Nodoka: Nethertheless, you must learn to walk as a woman. Now....
**********************************
Ranma has her feet in iron shoes and her hands are tied above her head.
Ranma: And how am I supposed to learn anything like this?
Nodoka(Bringing out Katana): Now swing your hips.
Ranma looks very panicked as Nodoka brings down her Katana over Ranma's left
hip. Desperately she swings her hips out to the right. Nodoka lifts up the
katana and attacks her right hip. Ranma swings her hips to the left. Nodoka
continues this for a while and gradually picks up pace.
Ranma: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
***********************************
Nodoka: Well done girls you have both done really well today.
Akane: Do you think so Auntie?
Nodoka: Indeed. Now why don't you both go upstairs and take a bath, before
you go?
Ranma and Akane look at each other panicked.
Nodoka: Whats wrong? You are cousins after all.
Ranma: Ahhh Akane tends to take up most of the bath, so I might stay here for
a bit and look at those makeup points again.
Nodoka: Are you sure?
Akane: Yeah...Yeah I'll only be a minute.
Akane races upstairs. Ranma moves over to the dummy and starts memorising
the points again. After a few minutes Nodoka looks up.
Nodoka: Ranko?
Ranma: Yes Auntie?
Nodoka: May I ask you a question?
Ranma: Sure!
Nodoka: Well its about Ranma... Can you tell me dear, what's he like?
Ranma: Wha?
Nodoka: You must understand I have not seen him for over ten years, and
every time I go to the Dojo I miss them. I almost get the feeling they are
avoiding me. Isn't that silly?
Ranma: Uh yeah.
Akane appears at the door.
Nodoka: I miss them so much and I just have to know how he turned out. I need
to know what kind of man he has become.
Akane(thinking): Poor Auntie, this is really getting her down.
Ranma: Well, Ranma is, a very impressive martial artist. He can throw over
100 punches in a second.
Nodoka: Is he a manly man?
Ranma: Well.. he... uh that is to say....
Akane(interrupting): Most of the time Ranma acts like a complete jerk. He's
arrogant, uncaring, inconsiderate and thoughtless.
Ranma: Hey!
Akane: But every once in a while Ranma will do or say something, that makes
you think that your previous assessment about him is all wrong. I remember
once we went ice skating with the school, and another girl ended up kidnapping
my pet pig, P-Chan. Well one thing led to another and somehow Ranma and I
both ended up in a duel against her and her partner. They were both very
impressive ice skaters, world class really.
Nodoka leans forward interested.
Akane: Anyway, Mikado, the girls partner challenged Ranma and told him that at
some point during the match he would steal a kiss from my lips.
Nodoka: Really?
Akane: Yes, Ranma was outraged! He told him, that if he even laid a finger on
me Ranma would kill him.
Nodoka: Did he?
Akane: Well when Mikado heard this, he and Azusa used a special move on us.
It involved twirling us around and around very quickly. Azusa stood on top
of Mikado holding onto Ranma's legs whilst Ranma had a hold of my arms.
Mikado then spun around and around gradually getting faster and faster.
Nodoka: What if Ranma dropped you?
Akane: Well that was the point. Mikado told Ranma he would stop spinning if
Ranma dropped me. He also said that no couple had ever not been broken up by
this move. I begged Ranma to let go to save himself, but he refused.
Finally Azusa got tired and had to let us go, we flew through the air towards
the wall. Ranma in mid-flight twisted until he was between me and the wall.
He took the full force of the wall, protecting me from the impact. He never
let go of my hand. I thought he must have broken every bone in his body, and
he may well have, but he got up anyway and even though he was in great pain,
he fought on and eventually won.
Nodoka's eyes are full of tears.
Akane: So Auntie, do you think he is manly?
Nodoka(crying): Thank-you Akane! Thank-you!
Ranma turns away from the two. There are tears in her eyes as well.
Ranma: I'm gunna take that bath now.
She races upstairs.
Nodoka: You love him don't you?
Akane: Wha? I... well...
Nodoka: I'm sorry, forget I asked.
***************************************
Ranma and Akane are walking silently home. Ranma is walking along the fence
line (she is swinging her hips) and has her hands in her pockets. Akane is
walking alongside on the ground. Both are staring at the ground in front of
them. They walk in silence for a while until..
Ranma: Akane?
Akane: Yes Ranma!
Ranma: Thank-you....
Akane looks up at her for a while, and then they continue walking in silence.
*****************************************
Kunou sits in the mansion grounds staring at the ground. It is clear that he
is a brocken man. He is seated on a wall, and has his arm on his knee and
his chin in his hand. A number of birds sit perched on his head picking away
at his hair. He either doesn't mind, doesn't notice, or couldn't be bothered
shooing them away, Sasuke approaches.
Sasuke(concerned): Master Kunou! Master Kunou!
Kunou doesn't respond.
Sasuke: Master Kunouuuuuuu!
Kunou: She hates me Sasuke!
Sasuke: Master?
Kunou: Miyaka, my one true love hates me. Akane Tendo and the pig tailed
goddess, have always avoided me, but I always thought that they were still
interested. But Miyaka, my angel, my one true love... Hates me!
Sasuke: Master nooo!
Kunou: Why wail against fate? My cause is lost she has destroyed my heart, I
no longer have any reason to live. I shall go the way of the dishonoured
samurai. I must commit seppuku.
Sasuke: Master Noooo! What of Akane Tendo, and the Pig Tailed girl.
Kunou: They do not love me. I am ugly!
Sasuke: Surely not, you are at least as handsome as young master Saotome!
Kunou(Looking up): Speak not that sorcerers name. It is he that is the cause
of all this. It is he that brings me such pain. It is he that has stolen my
Miyaka! And It will be HE WHO WILL PAY!
Sasuke(uplifted): Master!
Kunou: AHHH I have found my calling. A reason to continue this wretched life!
No more will these women be enslaved by that madman!
Kunou leaps to his feet and the birds on his head all begin to fly away.
Kunou: I Tatewaki Kunou, will Smite him from this earth!
Sasuke looks up curiously as one bird refuses to budge from Kunou's head. It
continues to pull on a rather stubborn bit of hair. Kunou looks up un
appreciatively at the bird.
Kunou: Shoo go away. Ouch shoo!
The bird continues to pull at the bit of hair.
*****************************************
Ryouga: What? Akane's going into a beauty contest?
Ukyou: Thats right, we all are.
Ryouga: Wow, I mean thats great. I'm sure she'll win.
Ukyou: Hey thanks a lot!
Ryouga: Wha?
Ukyou turns away from Ryouga miffed at his comment. Ryouga (as usual) just
looks confused.
Ryouga: Ukyou?
Ukyou: You realise if she does win, she will become Ranma's one true love.
Ryouga: That darn Ranma! (look of defeat) But there is nothing I can do to
stop it!
Ukyou: You Jackass! What do you think would happen if Akane didn't make it
to the contest?
Ryouga(Uplifted): Your right!(depressed) But I could never hurt her.
Ukyou: Who said anything about hurting her. All you need to do is escort her
to the contest.
Ryouga: What do you mean?
Ukyou: Well with your sense of direction....
Ryouga: Hey thats not fair!
Ukyou: And just think, you'll be able to spend all that time alone with Akane,
in her beautiful dress.
Ryouga: Oh yeah! What about Ranma though?
Ukyou: What about him sugar?
Ryouga: Well if he enters he'll stand a good chance of winning.
Ukyou: Hmmm you could have something there.
Ryouga: I'll have to take him out!
Ukyou: What?
Ryouga: Don't worry all I have to do is mess up his pretty dress and then....
Ukyou: He won't be able to make it and I'll win for sure.
Ryouga(thinking): Of course if I have to get a bit rougher...(outloud)
Bingo! Right now to get to Akane's house..
Ryouga gets up and walks out into the back room.
Ukyou: Gee I know the pageants not for another six days, but maybe i shoulda
called him in earlier. He might not make it there in time.
****************************************
A week later Ranma and Akane are preparing for the pageant. Ranma is in
Nabiki's room applying lipstick to her lips.
Nodoka: No dear, your applying it too heavily, it must highlight your face
without ruining your natural good looks.
Ranma: Dammit! I tell you this is more trouble than its worth. I dunno why
I'm even bothering with it.
Nodoka: Now! Now! young lady, there is no need to throw a tantrum. Sit down
I'll help you.
Nodoka starts applying make up to Ranma's face. When they are done they both
stand up.
Nodoka: Lets check on Akane.
Ranma: O.K!
They both walk into the Akane's room where Akane is lying back with a mud
pack applied to her face. She has two cucumbers over each eye.
Nodoka: I think you should be just about done dear.
Ranma: Hey check it out! Looks just like that pizza you tried to make last
week.
POW!!!
Nodoka: Oh dear now we will have to start all over again.
************************************
Ryouga trudges wearily down a road in a forest somewhere. Suddenly he stops
as growling can be heard from the bushes. A bear springs out and leaps into
the attack. Ryouga, without the slightest look of concern on his face,
leaps into the air and throws his umbrella into the bears head. The bear in
shock falls to the ground, out cold. Ryouga lands by the bear and inquires
politely.
Ryouga: Excuse me, can you direct me towards the Tendo Dojo in Tokyo.
Sadly the bear doesn't respond. Ryouga shrugs gets up and walks back the
same way he came. He fails to noticing a sign which pointing in the opposite
direction to the way he is walking reads. "Tokyo 5 miles".
**********************************
Nodoka: Are you ready yet girls.
Nabiki, Kasumi, and Genma Panda are seated around the dojo eagerly awaiting.
the debut of the two fashion models. There comes a loud clomping down the
stairs and Ranma comes through the door. Ranma is wearing make up that has
been applied nicely and her hair is in its usual fashion (although somewhat
neater). She is wearing a white Chinese style one piece silk dress which
tends to show a lot of leg. On either side of the dress is a Gold dragon.
She wears matching white high heel shoes and looks amazing.
Ranma: Well! There you satisfied?
Nodoka: You look lovely dear.
Ranma: Yeah well I still think its going to be difficult to fight in these
high heels.
Kasumi: Ranko you look really nice, I'm sure you'll manage.
Nabiki: So where's beauty number 2?
Ranma: Upstairs still getting changed.
Kasumi: Oh Akane you look lovely.
Ranma turns to see Akane done up in a stunning cream dress. The sunlight
catches on the dress making it sparkle in the light. Her hair is in its
usual fashion, and her make up leaves her looking stunning.
Akane(smiling): Well what do you think? Is it me?
Ranma's mouth has dropped to the floor she seems to be in a state of shock.
At the questioning look Akane gives her, she pulls herself together.
Ranma(casually): Yeah you look O.K.
Akane: Coming from you I'll take that as a compliment! So how do you think
we will do.
Nodoka: With your training and natural good looks. So long as you work
together you will win for sure.
Akane's eyes shine with delight, Ranma's shine with boredom.
Ranma: Great! Just great!
Akane: Wow I've never won a beauty pageant before.
Ranma: Well someone as un-cute as you I'm not sur.....mmfff
Nodoka has placed her hand over Ranma's mouth. She cuts Akane off as she is
about to clobber her fiancee.
Nodoka: Now girls. I won't have any of that. No fighting until after the
contest. Understand.
Ranma/Akane: Yes Auntie.
Nodoka: Good now go upstairs and get changed we don't want to ruin those
dresses. After that we will go.
Akane: But Ryouga's not here yet. He sent me a letter saying he'd like to
escort me to the tournament.
Ranma: Yeah well with his sense of direction you wouldn't get there anytime
this year.
Akane: Why are you always so mean to him?
Ranma: Gee I wonder Akane..
Akane: I can't believe your being so jealous!
Nodoka: Is Ranko interested in Ryouga.
Ranma bursts out laughing.
Akane: Uh.. no... well.. maybe I dunno Ranko are you?
Ranma can't stop laughing. Nodoka shoo's them upstairs.
Nodoka: Well maybe he'll turn up before we leave. Now hurry up and get
changed.
Both girls race upstairs.
****************************************
Soun Tendo sits in Kasumi's room applying make up to his face. This is
harder than it sounds since he is balling his eyes out.
Soun: My little girl, I must protect her. No sacrifice is too great!
Starts crying even harder.
Soun: But why does the sacrifice have to be so great! The Humiliation oh the
terror!
Kasumi(from down stairs): Are you coming father?
Soun: Ah ah I'll catch up. I'll meet you there.
Nodoka(also down stairs): All right then we will see you there.
Soun: I hope no one will recognise me.
****************************************
Authors Note: The full story is rather large and so Chapters 4-5 will be included in the next post. Thankyou!