Gosunkugi immediately turned a whiter shade of pale. "Follow...Ranma?"

Ooooh, this line is beautiful indeed.... ^_^

---
Raphael See

Zen likes it... your dialogue is getting even better!  The characterization
is excellent as well, though Zen notices that the reporters are not telling
Noriko that Ranma tried to save their sorry butts. *sigh*  Ahh well, that's
the media for you!

Zen likes the portrayal of Ranma - and the muffins were priceless.
Considering the absence of spelling errors, glaring grammatical mistakes or
semantic problems, and the definite *presence* of good descriptions, tight
dialogue and well paced action, Zen cannot really imagine why you would be
dissatisfied with it.

Tell Zen, does Noriko have any Kunou blood in her?

Zen will be eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Now, to borrow from Noriko, Get your butt in gear and write more of it! ^_^

Zen-