Marisa Price wrote:

A Lesson In Love
By Marisa Price
Copyright to Marisa Price, 1996

Chapter XI: There and Back Again (working title....)

geahh..... I hate it when I read a Fanfic and know that I now have to
find the previous parts (Not critisism)

This is only Part -A-, Part -B- coming tomorrow or
Thursday....

        Ranma glanced up at the clock: it was almost 7:30 and.... quitting
time! The restaurant itself had closed a half-hour before, but Ranma had the
grueling task of washing the mounds of dishes afterward while Ukyou cleaned
the tables in the dining room.
        He looked down at the brown bubbly water with distaste. He thought
of the whole dishwashing thing as "Ukyou's revenge." When she assigned him
the task she KNEW that having to keep scrubbing the dishes in the hot water
and then needing to rise them in the cool water would cause Ranma to have to
suffer through the "change" over and over and OVER again.

Interesting form of revenge.

        Ranma sighed and looked down at his sudsy hands and then began to

<<*snip*>>

        He suddenly shivered a bit, because they had also agreed that it was
time to tell the family about their revised situation. Somehow (probably
because Nabiki had kept her mouth shut after the "incident") no one had
noticed that Akane and Ranma's feelings had changed. Ranma shrugged. In some

geahh.... Now I REALLY want the other parts.  I wanna know what
incident!(Not critisism)

<<*snip*>>

        Ranma's thoughts, and his dishwashing, were interrupted as he felt
two arms wrap around him from behind. It was definitely a female embrace.
Ranma stiffened and said, quietly, "What 're you are doing, Ucchan?"
        There was a familiar giggle and a cute face framed by short black
hair peeked her head around Ranma's arm and smiled up and him. She said,
slyly, "Ok. You passed."

That's something I could see a little more mature Akane doing.  Just
making sure....

<<*snip*>>

        That girl. Akane wished that she would just get over it. She should
move on to someone new, Ryouga or whomever. Akane sighed as she realized
that was cold: how would -SHE- feel if Ranma had dumped -HER- and gone for
Ukyou instead? She shivered. And Ryouga... Ryouga might never be coming
back. Poor Ukyou.

(Me whining yet again) What happened?  I NEED those parts!

<<*snip*>>

        "Ryouga..." she said, softly, almost hopefully.
        "Ukyou?" Ryouga said brightly, hoping beyond hopes that she was not
mad at him, and moved out of the shadows of the doorway and into the lighted
room.
        Ukyou was about to shout, "I am so happy you came back!" when
reality crashed down on her.
        He had left her. Run off when she needed a friend, ANY friend, the
most. He was just like any other man.
        Her eyes turned cold and she said, quietly, "Get out, Ryouga. Get out."
        Ryouga took a step back he was so struck by her coldness.
        "Wha... what?!" he asked, his eyes rounding.
        "GET OUT!!!" she shouted, and then added in an acrid tone, "Did you
SERIOUSLY think I would just take you back into my home and work after you
just RAN OFF like THAT, LEAVING me when I needed a friend the most?! Your
promises were LIES, Ryouga!!"

Now, this part I am not clear on, prolly because of my not having read
the other parts.  I assume that Ukyou and Ryoga shared some personal
moments in there somewhere, but Ryoga is the eternal lost boy.  Ukyou
knows this.  Unless there is a LOT I am missing behind this, which is
possible, Ukyou should have at least listened to him.

<<*snip*>>

Part B coming soon! lemme know what you think....

Ok, here it comes.  Ready?
Overall: Well written.  Granted, I prolly would have enjoyed it more if
I had read all the previous parts.
Grammer and Spelling:  Good.  But then again, I can barely remember
proper sentence structure. ^_^
Characters:  Good once again.  Of course, there are some changes that I
see, but are prolly explained in the previous parts.
General:  Not much general C&C to impart, as I put most of it in the
story itself.

Marisa Price
marisa@value.net
http://value.net/~marisa/

-- 
Slashtooth@evnet.com
Remeber, No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai
Applicant to the Holy Order of Ukyo
Member, Okonomiyaki's Anonymous.
Maker of Ryogaese maps - Everything's on 'em, somewhere.
Sig File Under Construction.