You know you're reading a very bad fanfic when you see ANY of the following:
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A-ko: "Mars Tank Toss!"
"wzzzzzzz BOOM!"
B-ko: "Mercury Missile Blast!"
"Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!"
C-ko: "Venus sob power!"
"Wahhhhhh!"
Sailor Moon: "Wait, I'm the one who's supposed to cry around here!"
"Waaaahhhh!"
But Zoisite was prepared for the Terrible Tonsil Twins and quickly
stuffed NegaCotton in her ears.
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In addition to her other problems, Miyu had unwittingly bathed in the
spring former presidents Bush and Clinton had fallen into during a sight
seeing and goodwill trip to China, in the wake of the latest massacre.
Now, when splashed with warm water, she is turned into a wishy washy
conservative, and when splashed with cold water, an unconvincing
liberal.
"Larva, I feel like I'm loosing all of my convictions!"
"What convictions?"
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"And now for a word from our sponsors."
A formation of panda bears is seen skipping against a white background,
as the camera pans back this is revealed to have been an ultra closeup
shot of A-ko's "panda undies". A-ko is being chased by two Aussies in
banana suits and pajamas. Oddly enough the Bananas seem to be catching
up.
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Lita: "I've had it with all of you silly scouts, I'm going back to my
old boyfriend, Lt. Fredrick Hunter!"
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Skuld: "He's so handsome and brave, he reminds me of my old boyfriend,
Siegfried!"
B-ko: "Not this ``I was a teenage Valkyrie'' crap again, and anyway, I
thought Siegfried was your nephew, twice over!"
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Naturally, the story that goes under the title of this missive would go
(badly) something like this:
P-Chan rose onto his little pig feet, yawned and stretched himself,
briefly uncurling his tail, then he jumped onto the bed and settled back
into his favorite spot. The bedding here had gotten considerably more
plush over the years, if only she wasn't such a restless girl. Well at
least he could hope for a few more minutes rest on a usual morning.
Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb