And another...
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Clogged Sink Press Presents:
Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction -
Reverse Sorcery
By:Plunger
All characters copyright of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Inc. and Viz
Communications Inc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah...
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[Story begins...]
Shampoo sat fuming in the Nekohanten.
"Grr... Shampoo's magic food still not working!" she grumbled sourly.
Mousse overheard from the kitchen and came in to console her. "It's not your
fault, Shampoo. Maybe you're just not destined to be with Ranma."
Shampoo glared at Mousse and punched him flat, "Shut up, Mousse! You not know
what you talking!"
Mousse gathered his wits and got up, "But... Shampoo... Your plans always
fail..."
Shampoo sniffed, "Hmph! That all Tendou Akane's fault! She always foils me!"
Mousse raised an eyebrow, "You know thats not true... Ranma usually messes
it up!"
Shampoo grabbed a chair and whapped Mousse over the head with it, "Not true.
Ranma love Shampoo!"
"If he loved you, you wouldn't need magic! Face it! None of that stuff ever
works on Ranma!" Mousse countered.
Shampoo slumped, resting her chin on her hand, "Hmmm... Maybe you right..."
Mousse gaped, "I am?! I mean... I am! Of course! You should listen to me
Shampoo! Let's get married now!" Mousse lunged at Shampoo, trying to hug her.
Shampoo ducked and drove her elbow into his sternum. Mousse collapsed to the
floor with a groan.
Shampoo scowled down at him, "Shampoo mean that magic never work on Ranma...
Maybe is time to try on someone else..."
Mousse groaned, "Like who?"
Shampoo grinned evilly, "Maybe Shampoo try magic on Akane. If Shampoo get
Akane out of picture... Shampoo have Ranma all to herself! Is good plan,
no?!"
Mousse began to get up, "But-"
He was cut off as Shampoo stomped over him in her haste. "Oof!"
Akane glared up enviously at Ranma. He was walking casually along the fence
next to her. Unfortunatly, she was unable to move casually, as she was up to
her knees in snow, which made for slow going.
"I've never seen a winter this cold." she noted, her breath creating steam in
the in the frigid air.
Ranma slipped a little on the snowy fence, then regained his equalibrium, "Oh,
I dunno... It's not so bad... I've had worse..."
Akane scowled, "Maybe you like it, but the rest of us find it pretty cold!"
Ranma grinned, leering down at her "Gee... I thought a macho girl like you
would be tough enough to handle any weather..."
Akane growled and kicked the fence, sending Ranma into the river, or rather
onto the river. Ranma hit the ice with a thud and slid across it on his back.
"Oww..." he muttered as he got up. He slipped, slid and slithered over to the
edge and then jumped out of the river.
"Phew. That's better." he muttered.
Akane rolled her eyes, "Must be the first time you've gone down there and
not changed."
Ranma frowned, "Yeah... And I've been down a fair few times...Thanks to you."
Akane stuck out her tongue, "Nyah! You asked for it!"
Ranma stepped up to Akane, his face an inch from hers, "I did, huh?"
Akane shouted, "Yeah! You did! BAKA!" She swung her fist back and threw a
punch, just as Ranma slipped on a patch of ice. He fell over and grabbed Akane
as he went down, taking her with him. By the time everything stopped, Akane
was lying on Ranma on the ground. Ranma appeared to be out cold.
Akane roared as she grabbed Ranma and sent him flying, "HENTAI!"
Ranma flew through the air towards Furinkan High and arced downward to land
on a familiar robe wearing figure.
Ranma shook his head and sat up, wondering what had happened.
"Grr! Curse you, Saotome! How dare you carry out such a sneak attack on my
person! I shall send you to the coldest depths of hell!" Kunou shouted,
shoving Ranma off.
Ranma flipped away and sighed, "You moron! Hell is supposed to be hot!"
Kunou raised his bokutou, "Silence! I will not be lectured to by the likes of
you! Prepare yourself!"
Kunou rushed at Ranma, swinging his wooden blade. Ranma ducked and slid
through Kunou's legs on the wet snow, then swept his feet out from under him.
Kunou fell, then got up laughing, "You fool! This snow is soft! You can't hurt
me like that!"
Ranma shrugged and kicked Kunou in the head while he laughed. Kunou fell over
with a foot print on his face.
Ranma crouched near Kunou, "Did that hurt?"
Kunou slowly got to his feet, "Yes. And now I shall repay you in kind! Die!"
Kunou rushed Ranma with his pattern strike, his blade a blur, "Dadadadadada!"
Unfortunately, his momentum carried him forward on the wet snow and he slipped
out of control past Ranma, who stared with some surprise, as he sailed by.
Ranma frowned as Kunou slithered towards the gate, "Hey! Kunou-sempai!
Shouldn't you- Oh...Nevermind..." Ranma turned and headed for class, then
stopped as he saw something.
Akane walked in the gate, her face still red, <How dare he grab me like
that?!> she thought angrilly, <Just 'cause I'm his fiancee doesn't mean he
can take a handful of me whenever he feels like it! Oooh! Ranma no baka! I->
She stopped midthought as Kunou sailed past her at high speed. She stared
after him as he slid out the gate and under a passing snowplough. "What on
earth..." she murmured.
"I don't think Kunou is of this earth..." said Ranma, who was now standing
right next to her.
Akane turned and glared at Ranma, "Oh... That was your fault, I suppose?"
Ranma shook his head, "Nope. That one was yours."
Akane gaped, "Mine?! How?! I just got here?!"
Ranma grinned as he walked away, "Well... You did use your He-Woman strength
to throw me on him!"
A large snowball landed on Ranma from behind, utterly engulfing him in the
cold blob.
Akane moved quickly to class, her aura melting the snow around her.
Back at the Nekohanten, Shampoo was in a cooking frenzy. "Hmmm... Shampoo
think... Put in sirens hair...and frog legs...and...and Saffron...and other
stuff... Bah! Who care! This for Akane. Maybe it kill her instead!" Shampoo
laughed at the last, as she stirred a large pot.
Mousse frowned and handed her a jar of obscure herbs. "Shampoo... I really
think you shouldn't do this..."
Shampoo turned and whacked Mousse with her spoon, "You quiet, Mousse. Shampoo
not care what you think! Go get hair of Ryouga. If Shampoo make Akane love
Ryouga, Shampoo get rival out of way!"
"What about Ukyou?" asked Mousse.
Shampoo scowled and punted Mousse out the door, "Quiet! Go do as you told!"
Mousse flipped over midair and slid across the street, then bowed, "Very
well, my love... Much as I disagree with this...I cannot disobey you..."
Mousse turned and strode off down the street, "Now... How do I find Ryouga?
He could be anywhere..."
Ryouga slowly climbed to the top of the hill and looked down to see Nerima
below, "Haha... At last... I found it! I can finally see Akane-san again!
HAHAHAHA-" He was cut off as a snow drift in a tree fell on him. Moments later,
a small black piglet crawled out of the snow.
In class, everyone was totally ignoring the teacher and looking utterly bored.
Ranma watched his hands carefully, as he continually repeated a complex hand
motion, "Bleugh! Stupid sticking hands... This is boring." he muttered to
himself.
Akane ignored him and looked out the window at the snowcovered town. It
reminded her of a time when she was younger... When her mother was alive...
A tear slowly ran down Akane's face.
Ranma didn't see it as he turned to her, "Yo... Akane. Akane? Hellllo?
Anyone home?" Getting no reaction, he waved his hand in front of her.
Instictively, she threw a punch, sending Ranma out the window.
"WAAAAAH! What I do?" he shouted, as he sailed away.
Ryouga adjusted his pack and moved down the street towards the doujou. His
path was blocked a moment later by Mousse.
Mousse stood in the street, his arms folded in his robes, "Greeting, Ryouga.
You have something I need."
Ryouga frowned and pulled his umbrella, "Oh? What's that?" he asked, a
suspicious look crossing his face.
Mousse pointed to the post box next to Ryouga and said, "I need one of your
hairs for Shampoo!"
Ryouga dropped his pack and moved into a fighting stance, "Come and take it!"
Mousse stepped forward, "I will..."
Ryouga rushed in and swung his umbrella. Mousse blocked with his claws and
then wrapped a yoyo around Ryouga's neck. Ryouga stepped back and was caught
around the legs by two more cables. Mousse pulled, sending Ryouga to the
ground.
Mousse chuckled, "Face it, Ryouga. No one is a match for my hidden weapons..."
Ryouga frowned then looked into the sky above Mousse, "Mousse... You better
look behind you."
Mousse scoffed, "You think I will fall for-"
He was cut off as Ranma landed on him feet first, "Yo, Mousse. Thanks for the
landing." Mousse slumped to the icy ground as Ranma jumped off. Ranma saw one
of the ropes and pulled on it. A moment later, he found Ryouga at the other
end. "Heyo... Ryouga... Did you follow this rope the whole way here?"
Ryouga jumped up and slashed at Ranma with his umbrella, "Curse you, Ranma!
I'm sick of you mocking me!"
Ranma dodged and kicked Ryouga onto Mousse, "Too late, Ryouga... I'm already
cursed and- Say... Why are you here? I though pigs didn't like the cold!"
Ryouga got up and lunged at Ranma. Ranma caught Ryouga's arm and threw him
into a tree. Ryouga fell out and was left hanging helplessly like a puppet
from the ropes, which were now tangled in the tree branches.
Ranma grinned and stepped up to Ryouga, who flailed helplessly at him, "Guess
I'll just leave you to hang around here, hey, Ryouga?"
Ryouga turned red, but said nothing.
As Ranma turned and headed back to school, Mousse regained consciousness.
Getting up, he saw Ryouga hanging from the tree, "So... You have been caught
by my hidden weapons... I will now take what I need..." With that, he plucked
a hair out of Ryouga's head.
Ryouga thrashed about, but Mousse hit him a couple of times and he gave up.
"Grr! Let me out!!" Ryouga fumed.
Mousse shook his head, "You look a little too angry... You should cool down."
Mousse pulled a sword and cut the ropes, sending Ryouga into a another snow
drift.
As Mousse walked away, an irate black piglet shook it's trotter venomously at
him.
Mousse arrived back at the Nekohanten and handed the hair to Shampoo. "You
know, I think this is a bad idea..." he said, for the umpteenth time, as he
sat on a nearby stool.
He howled in pain and jumped into the air.
Shampoo turned and shook her head, "You too stupid, Mousse. What you sit on
cactus for?!"
Mousse sat down, on a real stool this time and glared at her. "Are you sure
you want to do this?"
Shampoo nodded, "Shampoo sure. If magic no work on Ranma, I use it on Akane.
You not think Akane and Ryouga be good couple?"
Mousse frowned, "Well... I suppose..."
Shampoo grinned, "See? Is good idea!"
Mousse sighed and handed her another spice.
Ranma sat in the lunchroom, his chopsticks hanging out of his mouth. He looked
over at Akane and saw she had gone a little pale. "What's with you?" he asked,
curiously.
Akane glared at him, "Nothing! That's pretty funny coming from you!"
Ranma hmphed and went back to his lunch.
A short time later, Ranma heard a familiar and yet horrorfying sound.
"Nihao-" Ranma cringed, "Akane." Ranma facefaulted then got up off the floor,
where Shampoo's bike had squashed him.
"Yo, Shampoo. What's up?" he asked, seeing her carrying a takeout box, "That
for me?"
Shampoo snorted and turned to Akane, "Shampoo bring special lunch. Is make
friends soup. You try?"
Akane frowned, "Are you serious? Do expect me to buy that? It's probably laced
with love potion!"
Shampoo sweated, "You silly. If was love magic, would Shampoo not give to
Ranma?"
"You can give it to me if she doesn't want it." added Ranma.
Akane snarled at Ranma and took the bowl, "Okay, okay. I'll eat it."
Shampoo nodded, "Is good choice. Ry- Er... Shampoo and Akane be good friends
now."
"So what brought this on?" asked Ranma.
Shampoo smiled, "Shampoo decide to be nice to Akane and help out..." <Out of
your life, that is...> she thought evilly.
Akane ate the ramen quietly while Shampoo and Ranma stared at her. When she
finished, she noticed their stares, "What?" she asked.
"You feel different?" Shampoo quiried.
Ranma frowned, "Did you put something in it?"
Shampoo shook her head, "Shampoo not put magic in it!" She thought back to
her forcing Mousse to put in the final ingredients. "Shampoo innocent."
Ranma shrugged, then heard the bell chime. "C'mon, Akane. We gotta get back."
Akane nodded absently and got up.
Ranma walked out, expecting Akane to follow. Instead, she went out another
door and walked out of the school. Ranma turned back and followed her. "Where
the hell is she going?!" he muttered sourly.
Akane walked towards the doujou with Ranma persuing. Finally, he ran up and
tapped her on the shoulder, "Class is the other way."
"Can't go to class." said Akane roboticly.
Ranma raised an eyebrow, "How come?"
At that moment, Ryouga stumbled around the corner, "I know that doujou is
around here somewhere..." he muttered.
Akane took one look at Ryouga and ran up to him, "Ryouga-kun!"
Ryouga looked up, just as Akane latched onto him, "A-akane-san... You..."
Akane hugged Ryouga tightly, "I love you, Ryouga-kun!"
Ryouga stared for a moment and then tears ran unheeded down his cheeks, a
look of utter joy crossing his face, <At last...> he thought, <No more
Ranma!>
Down the block, Ranma had collapsed in shock. He regained his feet and ran at
Ryouga. As he closed in, he drove his fist forwards. The punch connected with
an unresisting Ryouga and sent him flying out of Akane's grasp. Ranma followed
up and flying kicked Ryouga out of the air. Ryouga landed hard, the wind
knocked out of him.
Ranma loomed over him, a look of rage and hate on his face. "NO-ONE steals my
fiancee... YOU, of all people, should know that!"
Ryouga staggered to his feet and faced Ranma, just as Akane came and took his
hand, "Hah! Akane-san want's me, now, Ranma! It's just tough luck!"
Ranma cracked his knuckles and lashed out at Ryouga. He was just about to
connect, when Shampoo's bombori landed on his head. He collapsed, stunned.
Shampoo landed delicatly and smiled at Ryouga, "You go. I see to Ranma."
Ryouga nodded and took Akane in his arms, "Come, Akane-san! Let us leave
Ranma to Shampoo." Akane nodded eagerly as she and Ryouga lept away.
Shampoo watched them go, then put a blob of snow on Ranma's head. A moment
later, he sat up grimacing, "DAMMIT! That hurt, you know!"
Shampoo smiled, "Shampoo sorry. You look like you about to get in trouble."
Ranma got up and looked around, "Hey! Where's Akane?"
Shampoo shrugged, "She go off with Ryouga... She fickle girl..." Shampoo
glomed onto Ranma, "Shampoo think Ranma much better..."
Ranma shoved Shampoo off and glared at her, "Shampoo... What did you do to
Akane? What's in that ramen?"
Shampoo tried to look innocent and, realizing she had failed, jumped up and
ran.
Ranma dashed after her, his longer steps allowing him to easily catch her. He
grabbed her arm, and she threw him over her. He flipped and landed on his
feet in front of her.
"What have you done, Shampoo?!" Ranma grated, his expression dark.
Shampoo smiled and crossed her arms, "Shampoo not telling. Shampoo know Ranma
not hit her."
Ranma growled and raised a fist, startling Shampoo. He glared at her for a
moment, then dropped it. "Come on, Shampoo... There's no telling what Ryouga
will do to her... She may be macho, but she can't take him on. You know he
goes all weird around girls!"
Shampoo shrugged, "Shampoo not care what happen to Akane. Akane deserve what
she get!"
Ranma turned and looked hard at Shampoo, "You know Ryouga's a fruitcake! Why
don't you tell me? Please?"
Shampoo stared for a moment and then smiled, "Okay. Shampoo tell. Shampoo put
special ultra strong love magic in ramen. Make Akane love Ryouga to get rid
of her."
Ranma acked, "So you can cure it?"
Shampoo shook her head, smiling the whole time, "Iie. Shampoo not know. Only
Hiibaa-chan know that cure."
Ranma slumped, "So where is the Ghoul?"
"In village." said Shampoo helpfully.
Ranma, resisting the urge to tear his hair out, grabbed Shampoo by the hand
and lept onto a roof, "You're gonna help me fix this!"
Shampoo smiled dreamily as Ranma carried her along, "Shampoo love Ranma. Why
you not leave Akane to Ryouga?"
Ranma frowned and ignored her.
Meanwhile, Ryouga and Akane were sitting in the sports storeroom, talking.
"So.. Um... When did you... You know..." Ryouga mumbled.
Akane smiled and leaned against him, "I've loved you since we met..."
Ryouga stared, "But... What about Ranma?"
Akane frowned, "What about him? He calls me uncute! He can do what he likes!"
Ryouga grinned, putting his arm around Akane, "Anou... Shouldn't you go to
class?"
Akane looked lovingly up at him, "Only if you come, too..."
Ryouga stared, "Err..."
"Please..." pleaded Akane, tearily.
"Okay, okay. I'll go!" he muttered.
"Good." she replied happily.
They walked out of the shed only to be met by Kunou-sempai.
"Gah! What is this?! Tendou Akane with a man other than Ranma?! Do my eyes
decive me?! I will not tolerate it! Bad enough that cur Saotome keep her from
me, he is sharing her around as well! Die, fiend!"
Kunou attacked Ryouga, who defended with his umbrella, "What are you-" Kunou
attacked again, cutting him off, "Silence! I will ask the questions! You will
answer!"
"But-" stammered Ryouga as Kunou slashed again, disarming him. Kunou was about
to fell Ryouga, when Mousse landed on his head. "Ranma! Where is Shampoo?!"
Ryouga and Akane stared as Kunou dropped. "Ahm... Mousse... That's Kunou-
sempai..." said Akane.
Mousse dropped Kunou and turned to a tree, "Oh... Thanks, Akane. Where is
Ranma?"
Akane sniffed, "I don't care."
"I think he went off with Shampoo." added Ryouga.
Akane nodded, "He's mad because I love Ryouga now." Akane gloms onto Ryouga
for effect.
Mousse frowned, "Do you?"
Akane smiled and glomed onto Ryouga, "I do. Very much."
Mousse raised an eyebrow, "Since when?"
Akane smiled, "Since I met him!"
"Are you sure?" Mousse asked curiously.
Akane nodded vigourously. Mousse shrugged and turned to go... "Must have
worked..." he mutted to himself.
Ranma landed on the gate of Furinkan with Shampoo still slung over his
shoulder.
Shampoo was grinning, "Ranma so manly! Carry Shampoo like nothing. This very
good for marriage!"
Ranma ignored her and looked over to see Mousse standing with Akane and
Ryouga. "What is she doing with those dopes?" he muttered.
Shampoo turned to look, "Shampoo not know. Can we stay far from Mousse? He
annoying."
Ranma jumped off the post and ran at Mousse and Ryouga, "What are you guys
doing with Akane?!"
Mousse turned and saw Ranma carrying Shampoo, "Ranma! What are you doing with
Shampoo?!"
Ranma grabbed Shampoo and threw her to Mousse, "Nothing!" He then lept at
Ryouga and kicked him. The impact sent Akane off stumbling and she fell into
a snow drift.
Ranma attacked Ryouga with venom, until he was hit in the back with a blast of
icy water, "YEOW! COLD!"
Ranma-chan turned to see Akane holding an empty bucket, "Go away, Ranma! I
love Ryouga! He doesn't change into anything weird!"
"Wanna bet?!" retorted onna Ranma sourly. "Fine. If you want the lost boy,
you can have him!" Onna Ranma jumped back and kicked Mousse in the face and
grabbed Shampoo. "I guess I may as well date you, Shampoo!"
Shampoo grinned and hugged onna Ranma, "Aiya! I so happy!"
Mousse stumbled to his feet and attacked Ranma. Onna Ranma ducked and kicked
him into the pool.
Shampoo laughed as Ranma carried her off, "Mousse no baka! No can beat Ranma!"
When they were out of sight, Ranma put Shampoo down, "You'd better figure out
how to fix this, Shampoo."
Shampoo smiled and glommed onto Ranma, "Shampoo think is fixed. Just need to
marry groom, now..."
Ranma-chan sweated, "Listen... I'm not letting Ryouga get Akane... Magic or
no. How do we get rid of it?"
Shampoo grinned and snuggled against Ranma, "Shampoo already tell you. Shampoo
not know cure."
"Cure for what?" asked Cologne.
"Gah! The ghoul!" said Ranma, grimacing, "Where'd you come from?"
"China." said Cologne. "Are you ready to marry Shampoo?"
Ranma-chan snorted, "No. Shampoo made some magic food that enchanted Akane to
love Ryouga."
Cologne was surprised, "She did? Well done, child. Why didn't I think of
that?"
Ranma stepped up to Cologne, "How do I cure it?"
Cologne shrugged, "I don't know which spell Shampoo used, do I?"
Onna Ranma turned, "Shampoo. How did you do it?"
Shampoo stuck out her tongue, "Not telling."
Cologne frowned, "There's only one recipie that make one person love another
like that... The Love Curse."
"The Love Curse?" repeated onna Ranma increduluously.
"Yes." said Cologne, "Is there an echo here?"
Ranma frowned, "What does it do?"
Cologne shrugged, "It make one person love another. If it is not broken within
two hours, it is permanent."
Ranma acked and glared at Cologne, "And how do I break it?"
Cologne shrugged, "I will tell you if you marry Shampoo."
Ranma crossed her fingers behind her back, "Okay. Done."
Cologne smiled, "Really?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah." he lied.
"You must tell her you love her." Cologne said simply.
"I what?!" onna Ranma gaped. "You want me to tell Shampoo I love her just
to get the cure?!"
Cologne sighed, "No! That IS the cure! You have to say it to Akane! Just say
you love her. The will break the spell...if she cares for you! It's not that
hard!"
Ranma jumped up and ran back to the school. As she ran through the gates, she
looked up at the clock, "Wah! Three minutes!" Onna Ranma dashed up the stairs
in one minute and kicked the classroom door off it's hinges. Inside, the
entire class was staring at Akane and Ryouga who were sitting looking doe eyed
at each other. Just as Ryouga was about to kiss Akane, onna Ranma jumped in
and knuckled Ryouga across the room. Ryouga slammed into the wall as Ranma
slid to a halt.
Akane stared at Ranma, "Ranma! What are you-"
Ranma cut her off, "Akane... I have to tell you something... You're under the
effect of Shampoo's magic. You don't really love Ryouga!"
Akane snorted, "Yes, I do! I think I know how I feel!"
Onna Ranma shook her head, "No! That's not true. Shampoo's love magic is
making you crazy. You don't want a dope like Ryouga, do you?!"
Ryouga loomed behind Ranma, "RRRRAAANNMMAAAA..."
Ranma ducked as Ryouga tried to grab her, and reverse somersault kicked him.
Ryouga stumbled back, just as the clock chimed. Ranma turned to Akane and
took her hands, "Akane! I love you!"
The class oohed as the clock chimed a final time. Akane blinked, then turned
bright red, "Ranma... Do you...mean that?"
Ranma-chan grinned and hugged Akane, "Me? Love a macho baka like you? Not
likely!"
Akane shoved Ranma back, then grabbed her shirt and threw her out the window,
"RANMA NO BAKA!"
As Ranma-chan sailed over the snow covered town, she looked back at Akane,
"Sorry, Akane..."
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Reverse Sorcery - Epilogue -
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Later that afternoon, Akane arrived home to find onna Ranma lying unconscious
on the frozen surface of the pond. She sighed and dragged her into the house.
Dumping Ranma near the heater, she sat down, murmuring to her unconscious
fiancee, "I can't believe I thought I in love with Ryouga-kun..."
"Neither can I..." mumbled Ranma sourly...
______________________________________________________________________________
- Fin -
plunger@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au