Subject: [Fanfic][Draft] An Exciting Life, Part Two
From: Mike
Date: 6/20/1996, 5:16 PM
To: Ranma Fanfic Mailing List

Hi!

	Well, here's the last of the little backlog of stuff I was hoping 
to get proofread.  Currently working on part three of 'A Normal Life' and 
'An Exciting Life'.  Hopefully it won't take long.
	So, comments, feedback, ideas, etc... wanted.
	I was thinking of chopping out the supper scene below... should I?
	All help appreciated!
	Thanks!

	-Mike
***
"An Exciting Life..."
A Fanfic by
Michael Noakes.
(June 20, 1996)

     An Exciting Life continues.  Hope you still like it.  Don't
forget - to get the full story, read 'A Normal Life' as well.

***

     LEGAL BABBLE:

     Ranma and co. owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
     Story mine.
     Anything else is someone else's stuff.

***


                        An Exciting Life
                           Chapter Two
                             Reality

     "INSERT NIFTY QUOTE HERE."

     (Ranma is sitting cross-legged on her futon, her brow furrowed
in concentration.  She has a large, leather-bound book in her
hands, whose pages she hurriedly flips through.)
     (A strong moisture-laden breeze passing through the room tugs
at her red shirt, gently tickling the exposed skin.  She sits for
a few moments longer, attempting to focus on the 'Diary of Ranma
Saotome', then throws the book down in disgust.  She jumps to her
feet.)

Ranma     :Aaarrgh!  I can't concentrate like this!  I gotta change
back!  This body's too distracting!  But how?  (She takes a deep
breath.)  But I gotta figure out what's going on here, too.  (She
sighs, nudging the book with her foot, then glances down at a piece
of paper in her hand, covered in hastily scrawled notes.)  Right. 
So.  This is the... Tendo residence.  Great.  I live here with pop,
Mr.Tendo, and his, ah, three daughters.  Let's see, there's...
Aka...

     (The door is suddenly thrown open, almost tearing it off its
sliders.  Ranma's dad comes running in hurriedly, a slightly
frantic look on his face.  He freezes when he sees Ranma.)

Genma     :Quickly, boy, pack your things!  We're going on a
training trip!

Ranma     :What?  Now?  And weren't you, like, totally ashamed of
me just fifteen minutes ago?

     (Genma stops for a moment, turning to face his son.  He stands
up tall, looking serious, dignified, and perhaps, even a little
wise.)

Genma     :(solemnly)  Son, I could not hold a single error of
your's against you for very long - we have trained and worked and
practised together every day for the last decade.  Mistakes happen,
and we can work together to overcome any weakness you, or I, may
have.  _That_ is the special bond that forms between father and
son, strengthened by our burning desire for mastery of the Art, and
by the eternal link of kinship; our blood is thick - it allows us
to overlook the flaws in each other, and to forgive... and to
forget.  I love you, son.

Ranma     :(Slightly awed)  Ah, gee, wow, dad!

Genma     :(Speaking conspiratorially)  And it's for that love,
son, that we've got to leave... now!

Ranma     :Why?  Are we in danger?

Genma     :Yes!  AKANE IS COOKING SUPPER!

     (With that ominous proclamation, he turns and quickly
continues to stuff his pack full of equipment.  He doesn't get far,
though, before another figure stalks into the room.)

Akane     :(Looking upset)  I _heard_ that!  Planning on running
off again, Ranma?

Ranma     :(Shrugs)  Well, pop want's to go training, but I can't
see any reason to take off before supper.  (Genma collapse behind
him, but Ranma ignores it.  She pats her stomach.)  I'm kinda
hungry, anyway - supper sounds good right around now.

     (Akane freezes in surprise.  Ranma begins to leave the room,
then stops as she passes Akane.  She glances down at the crumpled
piece of paper in her hand, then glances up at Akane.)

Ranma     :Ah... Kasumi?  Nabiki?  Akane?  (Akane gives a little
start.)  Right - Akane.  (She walks into the hallway and looks both
ways, thinking)  Oh, great, I have _no_ idea where the dining room
is.  I'll just let... Akane... lead the way.  (Aloud.)  After you,
Akane!  (She steps back and gives a small mock bow from the waist,
grinning slightly.)

     (Akane, looking at Ranma in utter disbelief, numbly takes the
lead.  Ranma steps in behind her.  Akane pauses briefly.)

Akane     :Ranma.  You... you're really going to stay for supper?

Ranma     :Unless you'd rather I didn't...

Akane     :(A hard edge creeping into her voice.)  Oh no!  You're
not getting out of it now!

     (She grabs Ranma by the wrist and hauls her downstairs.  Ranma
follows, slightly bemused by this girl's odd behaviour.)

Ranma     :(thinking)  Obviously supper's a big thing around here. 
Man, I'm really gonna hafta figure out who's who and what's what. 
I've got Akane down, but who's Nabiki?  Kasumi?  Mr.Tendo?  And...
and how do I change back into a guy!

Akane     :What was that?

Ranma     :Huh?  Oh, ah... I was just thinking... about, ah,
Jusenkyou?

Akane     :Oh, fine, I'll get you some hot water.

Ranma     :(Confused)  Uh, yeah, sure.  (Thinking)  What for, tea? 
Dammit, why couldn't the amazons have told me how to reverse the
curse?  (Worriedly)  It _better_ be reversible...

     (They arrive in the dining room, where, at Akane's direction,
Ranma sits down by the table.  Two other figures are already there:
a tall man with a mustache who appears to be bordering on tears,
the other a young girl with a resigned look on her face.)

Nabiki    :Didn't get away in time, eh, Saotome?

Ranma     :(Turning to face her.)  Nabiki?

Nabiki    :Yes?

Ranma     :Right.  (She glances down at her notes.)  Where's, ah,
Kasumi?

Voice     :(Cheerfully, coming from behind her.)  Yes, Ranma?  Can
I help you?

     (Ranma turns to get a look at her, then nods.  Before she can
say anything, though, the kitchen door swings open, releasing an
ominous puff of billowing black smoke, and a smudge-covered Akane. 
She walks over to Ranma, pulls out a kettle, and upends it over the
red-headed girl.)

Ranma     :YOUCH!  That's... hot?  (He pats himself down. 
Thinking: )  Hey, I'm back to normal.  It must've been the water. 
Weird.  Man, I'm sure glad there _is_ a way to turn back... I don't
think I could've lived the rest of my life like that.  (Aloud.) 
Thanks, Akane.  (He pauses.)  You need any help in the kitchen?

Akane     :(Narrowing her eyes.)  And what's _that_ supposed to
mean?  Think I can't handle it?

Ranma     :(Raising his hands defensively, and flashing a quick
smile.)  Nonono!  Just thought I'd offer... ah... is it almost
ready?  What're we having?

Akane     :(Cheering up)  Oh... I made your favourite!  Rice Curry! 
And some Sukiyaki, with a side dish of noodles - Creamy Garlic
Raffaello.  And desert, of course!  (She spins, hiking up her
sleeves, and charges back into the kitchen.  Another cloud of
greasy smoke escapes.)

     (Ranma turns back to the table.  His father's joined the
group, and Ranma notices that everyone has a terribly depressed
look on their face.  Ranma tries a small smile.)

Ranma     :Well, sounds good to me, don't you think?

Nabiki    :(Arching an eyebrow.)  You feeling ok?  Maybe you got
beat up worse than we thought.

Ranma     :Nonsense.  I'm just a little hungry.

Nabiki    :Hmph.  You _do_ like to live life dangerously, don't
you?

     (Ranma shoots her a quizzical look, but before she can answer,
Akane returns, bearing plates of food.  She hurriedly places them
down, Kasumi assisting her, then Akane sits at the table next to
Ranma.)
     (Ranma waits a few moments, then realises that everyone's
looking at him expectantly.)
     (He fidgets nervously.)

Akane     :Well?

Ranma     :Ummm, let's eat?

Nabiki    :You first, Ranma.  You first.

     (Ranma hesitates for a moment.  Something seems... wrong.  He
curses himself for not having read more of the diary, then shrugs. 
It's only food, after all... what could possibly go wrong?  He
grabs a plate and heaps large servings of each dish onto it. 
There's an amazed gasp from the table.)

Ranma     :What?  Did I take too much?

Akane     :No... no, not at all!  Go on!

     (Ranma gives her a quick look.  She's staring at him with wide
eyes, totally immersed in watching him eat.)

Ranma     :(Thinking)  Gee, she really _does_ take cooking
seriously.  Ah well.  (He scoops up a spoonful of Rice Curry,
saying: )  Enjoy!

     (He brings the spoon to his mouth.)
     (He puts it in.)
     (He chews.)
     (He swallows.)

Ranma     :(Thinking)  Well, not _too_ bad.  Kinda bland, really. 
Very bland, actually.  Almost like all the flavour's been sucked
out.  Kinda like eating sawdust.  Edible, though.

Akane     :Well?  Well?

Ranma     :(Shrugs.)  It's... ok.

     (Kasumi claps her hands together in joy, exclaiming a little:
'Oh my!'.  The rest of the family just watches in shock.  The tall
man with the mustache begins sobbing, much to Ranma's confusion. 
Shrugging, Ranma skewers a piece of chicken, and gives it a little
sniff.)

Ranma     :(Thinking)  Now _that's_ an odd smell.  I've never quite
smelt a piece of chicken with such a... unique odour.  But, hey,
she's the cook - what do I know?

     (He brings the fork to his mouth.)
               (He puts it in.)
     (He chews.)
     (He swallows.)

Ranma     :(Carefully masking an outward reaction, thinking: ) 
What the... that's the worst piece of chicken I've ever eaten!  How
could _anyone_ cook something this bad?!  It's... it's inhuman! 
(He turns to see Akane, and, noting  the look of happiness and hope
she's beaming, forces a sickly grin.)

Akane     :Did you like it?  Did you like it?

Ranma     :Uh... yeah.  Very... unique.

Akane     :Go on!  Try the noodles!  I put _extra_ effort into
them!

     (Ranma hesitantly scoops up a spoonful from the glistening,
quivering mass, eying it doubtfully.  The white sauce has a
decidedly green tint to it, and the little shell-shaped noodles
look like they've been stomped flat.  Aware of the piercing stare
Akane is giving him, he nervously takes a sniff.)
     (It takes all his willpower to overcome his stomach's sudden
desire to flee out his butt.  He gulps to push down the bile, and
blinks to clear the tears from his eyes.)

Akane     :Go on!  Eat it!

Ranma     :(Thinking)  It's only the smell.  It's only the smell. 
The rice wasn't bad, and maybe I got a bad piece of chicken.  It
couldn't _possibly_ taste as bad as it smells... could it?

     (He brings the spoon to his mouth.)
     (He puts it in.)
     (He chews.)
     (He swallows.)
     (Everything goes black.)
     (Pretty colours dance across the inside of his skull.)
     (The kaleidoscope finally subsides.)

     (He slowly staggers to his feet.)

Ranma     :(Groggily)  I... I'm so.. sorry.  I seemed to have...
passed out...  (He stumbles, falls to his knees.  He takes a deep
breath, firmly takes control of his legs, masters his screaming,
gibbering stomach, and lurches back to his feet.)

Akane     :(Looking worried.)  Are you... ok?  I'm sorry, Ranma. 
I guess something didn't work out.  I guess it... didn't taste too
good, did it?

     (Ranma confronts that worried, caring gaze, the cute face full
of concern, and seems to slowly, carefully chose his next words.)

Ranma     :No, it didn't.  I can honestly say that was the worst...
no, beyond that, the worst _possible_, food I have ever eaten.  By
far.  (Sudden yelling, staring at her in fury.)  What the HELL were
you trying to do, KILL me?  (His stomach suddenly rocks to one
side.  He feels the bile rise.)  POISON me?  Ah man, I think I'm
gonna be sick!  Did you do this on _purpose_, or what?

     (A deathly silence envelops the room.  Akane appears frozen,
stunned, a slight shimmering forming in each eye.  Ranma clutches
his stomach, suddenly wondering if maybe, just maybe, he should of
held his tongue.  An angry voice splits the tension, coming from
the man Ranma assumes can only be Mr.Tendo.)

Mr.Tendo  :How _dare_ you speak to your fiancee like that?

     (The pain in Ranma's stomach disappears.  He spins to face
Akane in shock, letting out a little 'eep' of surprise.)

Ranma     :Fi... fiancee?

     (Something inside Akane stirs.  She blinks once, a single,
solitary tear streaking down her cheek.  And then...)

Akane     :RANMA!  YOU JERK!

     (Ranma has a brief moment to wonder: 'Where did that mallet
come from?', before the pain in his head makes the pain in his
stomach seem like a pleasant memory.  Everything fades to black.)

***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***  ***

     (The Tendo Dojo.  The bedroom of the Saotome's.  A futon.  A
battered body lying on it.  It groans, twitches a couple of times,
then weakly sits up, clutching his head with both hands.)
     (Ranma groggily takes in his setting, then slumps back down on
the futon.)

Ranma     :(Muttering)  Havn't we already done this once before?

     (He wearily reaches beneath his pillow, fumbling for 'his'
diary.  Finding it, he pulls it out and flips in open.  He tries to
focus on the words, but they refuse to behave and lie still on the
page.  He closes it with a sigh, but keeps it with him.)

Ranma     :(Heaving himself to his feet.)  Maybe I should get some
fresh air first.  (A throb of pain blasts into his head as he
stands.)  Definitely.  (He takes a few steps towards the bedroom
door, then freezes.)  No.  No way.  I'm not gonna risk bumping into
those lunatics again.  They actually _let_ her cook?  (He staggers
over to the window and throws it open.  He looks out.)  Only the
2nd floor.  Shouldn't be a problem.

     (He hops out the windows, easy catching himself from the fall,
only stumbling slightly with the impact.  He stands up and takes a
deep breath, then looks around.)

Ranma     :Wow, nice place.  Nice dojo.  Nice pond.

     (He looks around, but doesn't notice anyone out and about. 
Even the rear entrance to the house is shut.  Ranma realises that
it's getting quite late, and a little chilly.  Heavy clouds roll
overhead, and the feeling of impending rain lies heavy in the air. 
A full moon, mostly obscured by the clouds, has already begun its
ascent into the sky.)
     (He shrugs and walks over to the pond, settling down on one of
the larger, flat rocks.  He shifts around till he's comfortable,
then flips open the book again.  The exterior house lights provides
just enough illumination for him to read by.)

Diary     :After leaving the shop, I came across the Tendo dojo. 
I met Akane Tendo, and briefly sparred with her.  She actually got
a good hit in on me!  Then Ryoga showed up and declared his
friendship and thanks - turns out I was responsible for him meeting
Akane.  Look's like they're a couple or something.  I left right
after that...

Ranma     :(Muttering)  What the hell?  Hey, that didn't happen! 
It's more like I got the crap kicked out of me after leaving the
shop.  The I got the shit beat out of me after supper!  (He thinks
for a moment.)  Maybe I should track down that Damax guy tomorrow. 
(He glances back at the diary.)  But first, I think I'll try to
learn a bit more and avoid another unpleasant surprise.  Then maybe
I'll go apologize to that violent tomboy.  (He reaches up and rubs
the back of his head.)  'Though it seems to me that she's the one
who should apologize.  Can she... can she really be my _fiancee_? 
(He sighs.)  What kinda mess did I get myself into?  (He flips the
book to another page at random.)  I wonder who this 'Ryoga' guy is? 
That name sounds familiar...

     (He finds an entry at random.  It's dated several months ago.)

Diary     :... and Ryoga showed up again, swinging his umbrella,
saying...

Voice     :How I've waited for this day...

Diary     :... and then yelling...

Voice     :NOW YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE, RANMA SAOTOME!

     (Suddenly sensing danger, and realising that the voice isn't
in his head after all, Ranma spins and sees a figure hurtling
towards him.)

Ranma     :Gyaaaah!

     (He jumps away, just as the figure slams his fist down into
the rock previously occupied by Ranma.  It crumbles in a shower of
stones and dust.  Ranma, meanwhile, lands... in the pond.  She
comes up sputtering.)
     (The figure turns, shrugging off its backpack and snapping
open its umbrella.)

Ryoga     :I heard what you did to Akane today, Ranma... you may
have avoided me tonight be escaping to your bedroom, but now I've
tracked you down...

Ranma     :Excuse me?

Ryoga     :PREPARE TO DIE!

Ranma     :Excuse me?

     (Ryoga releases his umbrella, then follows up with a volley of
spinning bandannas.  He does, however, avoid approaching too
closely to Ranma, who's still standing in the middle of the pond.)
     (Ranma stands stunned for a split second, then finely honed
reflexes take over.  She leaps to one side, the umbrella zinging
by.  She lands, rolls - several bandannas thudding into the ground
behind her - and smoothly rises and spins to face her opponent.)

Ranma     :Hey, I think...

     (At the last moment, she spots the umbrella returning in her
peripheral vision.  She shifts her weight, bending away from it. 
It skims by, returning to Ryoga's waiting hand, who snaps it shut.)
     (Ranma reaches up and feels her neck.  Her hand comes away
stained red.  A shallow cut oozes blood.)
     (Ranma pales slightly.)

Ranma     :You... you could've _killed_ me... (She pauses, then
continues softly.)  You're _trying_ to, aren't you...

Ryoga     :(He pauses, slightly confused.) Well, ah, yeah, you
know...  (His face regains its former composure.)  DON'T TRY AND
CONFUSE ME, RANMA!  YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME THIS TIME!

Ranma     :Hey man, can't we talk about this?

Ryoga     :NO MORE TALKING, COWARD!

Ranma     :(Narrowing her eyes)  Excuse me?

Ryoga     :I'm starting to think that body fits you better... you
sure _sound_ like a girl... (He gives a little grin) And you fight
like one, too...

     (Ranma glances down at her body, then slowly looks back up at
Ryoga, eyes blazing.  She begins to shake slightly.  She remembers
the broken nose he gave her earlier today.  And now... calling her
a _girl_, mocking this insane curse.  The bastard.)
     (Ryoga hesitates slightly.  Ranma had been acting strange all
day, and his fighting had been pathetic, but now he looked angry...
and Ryoga had only seen him angry a few times... and it hadn't been
nice.  But he was damned if he was going to back down now.)

Ranma     :What.  Did.  You.  Say?

Ryoga     :(Settling into a combat stance, umbrella held loosely.) 
You heard me.

Ranma     :Yes.  I did.  (She slips into a combat stance as well,
facing Ryoga across the pond.  She spits out his words through
clenched teeth.)  And I'll make you eat those words...

     (They warily watch each other, waiting for the first move.  A
strong wind blows between them, throwing up a swirl of leaves and
cherry blossoms.)
     (With a savage yell, Ryoga launches himself towards Ranma with
a fierce flying kick.  Ranma sidesteps, but too slowly; the kick
catches her in the shoulder, spinning her like a top and sending
her flying several feet.  Ryoga recovers smoothly from the kick as
Ranma scrambles to her feet, massaging her shoulder.)

Ryoga     :(Smirking) Man, you sure are slow today...

Ranma     :SHUT UP!

     (Ranma unleashes a volley of kicks and punches.  They're fast,
fast enough that Ryoga can't dodge, but slow enough for him to
block most of them.  He barely notices the few that get through.)
     (Ryoga retaliates with a flurry of his own.  Ranma is hard
pressed to defend herself, dodging and blocking desperately. 
Finally, a strong side-thrust catches her in the stomach.  The
impact hurtles the girl into a tree, where she slumps to the
ground, dazed.)

Ryoga     :(Stops smiling.)  This is easy.  _Too_ easy.  (He slowly
advances on the winded Ranma, who's struggling back to her feet.) 
You got some sneaky trick up your sleeve, Ranma?  Eh?

Ranma     :(Thinking)  What the hell is this guy made of?  Who the
hell is he?  Do I... do I dare use the Tenshin Amaguri-ken on him?

     (Ranma gives her head a shake to clear it, then snaps into a
forward stance.)

Ranma     :Listen, I don't want to hurt you.  (She pauses.)  No,
that's a lie.  I _do_ want to hurt you.  And if you don't back
off... you'll regret it!

Ryoga     :Oh really?  (His mean grin returns.)  Got some new
underhanded technique, eh?  WELL IT WON'T WORK THIS TIME!!!  THIS
IS THE LAST TIME YOU DEFEAT RYOGA HIBIKI!

     (Ryoga charges Ranma, fist cocked back, index finger
extended.)

Ranma     :(Charging forward.)  KASHU TENSH...  (Ryoga's attack
sudden registers.  She thinks: )  Shit!  That looks like the
Breaking Point Technique!

     (At the last moment, Ranma leaps up and away, spinning to keep
Ryoga in sight, as the bandanna-clad boy slams his finger into the
dirt, yelling: )

Ryoga     :BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!

     (The ground erupts beneath Ryoga in a massive explosion,
spraying rock fragments and dirt everywhere.  Ranma, already
airborne, is tossed backwards by the blast, slamming roughly into
the ground.  She awkwardly flips to her feet.)

Ranma     :(Thinking)  What?  That... that was an Amazon technique! 
(Aloud)  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?  (She suddenly sees Ryoga
emerging from the smoke cloud, charging her.)  No way, man!  I'm
outta here!

     (Before Ryoga can reach her, Ranma leaps over the Tendo
Residence wall, landing on the sidewalk.  She starts to run.)
     (And keeps on running, clueless as to where she's going, not
even caring, mind in turmoil and confusion.  The winds tear at her,
buffet her, but she doesn't notice.  She feels... afraid?  No. 
Angry?  No.  A few heavy drops of water slap her face.  She ignores
them.  She just runs.)

Ranma     :(Screaming into the winds.)  DAMMIT!  WHAT'S WRONG WITH
ME?!?!  (She stumbles to a stop in a park, collapses to her knees,
breathing heavily.)  I've been beaten up three times in less than
a day!  I don't know where I am or who anyone is!  I... I'm a GIRL! 
And... and...

     (A final crack of thunder roars above her.  The heavens open
wide, and the rain pours down, torrential, hard and cold.  Sheets
of rain pound on Ranma.  She doesn't notice.)

Ranma     :(Frustrated, near tears.) ... and when, when I finally
get into a fight... into a _real_ fight, I... I... (She slams his
fists into the ground, clumps of dirt and muddy water splashing
over her.)  I RAN AWAY!  (Her fingers clutch convulsively in the
dirt, tearing deep gouges that quickly fill with water.)  I... I'm
a... coward...

     (And the rain continues to fall...)

     ***  To be continued...  ***

AUTHOR'S BABBLE

     Nothing much to say.  Not too sure where I'm going with
this...  I mean, I've got the ending figured out, but the actual
route there... well, who knows.
     So, let's see... thanks to Takahashi for the characters. 
Thanks to Metallica's Load (played over, and over, and over...) for
the background music.  And thanks to anyone who gives me feedback
(please!  please!)
     Later!

-     Mike
      s669330@aix2.uottawa.ca