Subject: (fwd) As the Shampoo Turns! (Was Re: Ranma Fan Need Answers) (fwd)
From: "Erik L. Schweitzer" <elschwei@mtu.edu>
Date: 5/15/1996, 5:58 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

I thought those of you who do not have access to Newsgroups might find
this interesting.

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From: fwhite@colfax.com (Frank White)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.misc
Subject: As the Shampoo Turns! (Was Re: Ranma Fan Need Answers)
Date: 14 May 1996 04:32:34 GMT
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   (In our last episode Ranma, prompted by the goading of several fan
writers, actually asked Akane to marry him!  And she AGREED! This caused
considerable rejoicing among the fans.  And explosions among several of
the secondary characters, which were handled adroitly by the fan writers
("He's MMIIINNEEEEEE!!" Kodachi screamed as she was drug off to a happy
place for a nice LONG rest).  Shampoo, however, proved to be difficult,
until a mysterious figure knocked her cold.  And when she woke up...
   Well, let's join the action in Dr. Tofu's office)

   "So you've forgotten Ranma completely, Shampoo?" Tofu asked the 
Chinese girl as she sat on his exam table.
   "Ranma who?" Shampoo replied, looking at Tofu with huge eyes.
   "Hm.  Definately Xi Fa Xiang Gao," he concluded, adjusting his
spectacles as he turned to face Ranma and Akane."The pressure points
on her skull have been manipulated, and there is a faint herbal scent
in her hair, although it seems a bit," he frowned, "different than when
she did this to you, Akane. But clearly, someone has used the martial
arts shampooing technique to eliminate her memories of you, Ranma."
   "But... but who could have done such a thing?" Akane wondered.  "I
thought only Shampoo and Cologne knew how to do that!"
   "No, the technique is legendary among practitioners of shiatsu.
Those having the skill to actually perform it are rare, though. Hm,"
he said, turning back to Shampoo. "I wonder if she's forgotten only
Ranma, or if she might have had several memories removed.  We'd better
see.  Shampoo, do you know who I am?"
   "Hie!  You Doctor Tofu!  You nice!'
   "Hee, thank you. Do you know who Genma Saotome is?"
   "Hie!  He under curse!  He turn into panda!"
   "Good, good. And do you know who Akane is?"
   "Hie!  She Shampoo's enemy!" Shampoo looked at Akane fiercely;
then her expression softened as her eyebrows drew together in
puzzlement. "But Shampoo not remember why."
   "Because you want to marry Ranma and I'm in the way!" Akane 
shot back.
   "Hey," Ranma said, trying to head off a developing argument.
   "Who Ranma?" Shampoo asked, puzzled.
   "Hey!" Ranma exclaimed, a bit hurt.
   "Him," Akane sighed, pointing him out.
   "WHAT?" Shampoo questioned, amazed. She looked Ranma over. "Shampoo
want to marry HIM?  WHY?!?"
   "HEY!" Ranma shouted, a LOT hurt.
   "He beat you once." Akane said, deadpan.
   "He BEAT Shampoo?" the Amazon asked, aghast. She stared at Ranma as
if he were a bug. One she might have liked to step on. "He BEAT Shampoo
and she want to MARRY him for it?  What, Shampoo got brain damage?"
   Akane froze, not sure how to answer that.
   "NO!" Ranma yelled, flailing his arms wildly. "It wasn't like that!
I didn't BEAT you! I defeat you in fair combat! And it was an accident!
I didn't mean to do it!  It's not my fault!"
   "Ah, excuse me," Doctor Tofu interrupted. "This is very interesting,
but I think we should concentrate on getting Shampoo's memories back.
Fortunately, just to be on the safe side, a while ago I whipped up a
bottle of the special herbal shampoo formula - 911 - that reverses the
memory loss.  So, Shampoo, if you wouldn't mind stepping into the back
room and letting me wash your hair, I'll soon have you fixed up!"
   "Shampoo not understand this, but if Doctor Tofu think giving Sham-
poo a shampoo in middle of day is good idea, she go along," she said, 
sliding down off the exam table and standing ready.
   "Uh, doc," Ranma said, "you SURE giving Shampoo back her memory is
a good idea?  I mean, as she is right now, things are kinda... well..."
   "Ranma," Doctor Tofu said, giving the young marital artist a painfully
earnest look. "Surely you don't want poor Shampoo wandering around not
knowing who her friends are?  When Akane lost HER memories you were
willing to go to any lengths to help her get them back.  Surely you'd 
do no less for your friend Shampoo."
   "Uh, yeah.  You're right.  I wasn't thinking.  You, uh, go ahead," he
Ranma said, Doctor Tofu and Shampoo went back into his living quarters.  
Ranma turned... to see Akane looking at him.
   "Baka," she muttered, and crossed her arms and turned her head.

(A few minutes later)

   "There, that should do it," Dr. Tofu said, coming back into the room. 
 Shampoo followed, drying her thick, rich hair with a towel.
   "How do you feel, Shampoo?" Akane asked in concern.
   "Shampoo feel GREAT!  Doctor got GREAT hands!  Maybe Akane let him
wash HER hair!  Very refreshing!"
   "Um, no," Akane said, blushing a bit, "I don't think so."
   "So, I bet you have no trouble remembering my name NOW, Shampoo?"
Ranma said, smirking a bit.
   "Who you?" Shampoo asked, looking at Ranma with puzzlement
   Ranma, Akane, and Tofu face faulted.
   "But... but I don't understand!" the latter exclaimed after they'd
recovered. "I used the right formula!  I manipulated the right pressure
points!  Why didn't I reverse the Xi Fa Xaing Gao?"
   "Because it WASN'T normal Xi Fa Xiang Gao!" came a fearful voice
from the doorway. "Clearly this is SUPER Xi Fa Xiang Gao; a shampoo with
a rinse and set!"
   They all turned to see a tiny, shriveled woman balancing on a walking
staff, staring at them.
   "Cologne!" Akane gasped.
   "The old ghoul!" Ranma exclaimed, looking with distaste at Shampoo's 
great-grandmother.
   Their reactions, though, were nothing compared to Shampoo's.
   "IIEE! GHOUL! GHOUL!!" the Chinese girl screamed as she grabbed the
exam table and ripped it out of the floor. "Look out, I smash!" And
with that, Shampoo lunged at Cologne, swinging the table down at her!
   "OH NO!  Shampoo's forgotten Cologne!!" Akane screamed, summing up
the situation in one. "She's going to hit her!"

(Will Shampoo smash Cologne?  Will Cologne smash Shampoo?  Will Shampoo
ever get her memory back?  Where's Mousse while this is going on?  And
what ABOUT Alexis?  Tune in next time for the next exciting episode!)



-- Erik Schweitzer | Troll by birth, Yooper by choice. Michigan Technological University * elschwei@mtu.edu e-mail | What's a Yooper? Check out (500)674-9903 phone * http://rever.nmsu.edu/~yooper/