Subject: Day In The Life (Ranma) - Episode 3
From: polaris@interpac.net (Jon K. Hayashi)
Date: 5/9/1996, 4:21 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Magical Interludes:  A Day In The Life 
Fanfic by J.K. Hayashi 
 
******************************************* 
For continuity purposes, the last manga that is 'valid' is the 
"Happodaikarin" storyline (assume roughly end of Volume 5 of the 
Viz translation). 
 
The story so far: 
Magic has come into the world based on scientific principles.  The 
unlocking of major talents seemed to be linked to the appearance of 
'Vortices', people who were at the center of energy/magic storms. The 
fifth vortex, Ranma Saotome, managed to draw three 'daughters' into 
his reality from other universes.  The three sixteen year-olds (Ayuki, 
Keiko, and Midori) came under the care of Nodoka Saotome.  Both 
families are living in the Tendo Dojo while the Saotomes prepare to 
move to their new house. 
 
It is the January 16th of Ranma and Akane's sophomore year... 
******************************************* 
 
Episode III:  Midori 
 
I'm up before the others to read my mail, a lamp illuminating a small 
area by my pillow.  Ayuki is snoring slightly, and Keiko mutters 
something about socks in her sleep. 
 
	Dear Midori, 
 
	I am constantly surrounded by women that do not realize 
	how much I need them, how much their rejections hurt me.  
	I could teach them a lesson with my martial arts skills, but I 
	would prefer that they come to me willingly, as I am getting 
	tired of being hit on the head.  I would gladly forgive them 
	their past indiscretions for a set of their silky darlings and a 
	quick nude trip in a hot tub.  How can I best convey this 
	message to them? 
 
	I Am Not Happosai 
 
I write down my advice in the white space of the letter. 
 
Not Happosai:  Act your age.  Stop stealing girl's underwear, gym 
shorts, and swimsuits; stop groping women's bodies.  If you should 
ever attempt to steal any of my stuff, I shall lock you in a chest with 
Ranma and a cat. 
 
I knew it was a mistake to start an advice column for the school paper 
like everyone urged.  Happosai isn't even a student!  But maybe this'll 
get the message across.  I look at the next letter. 
 
	Dear Midori, 
 
	I am constantly surrounded by women that do not realize 
	how much I need them, how much their rejections hurt me.  
	I try to impress them with my martial arts skills, but seek 
	another approach as I am getting tired of being injured.  I 
	would gladly forgive them their past actions for an 
	acknowledgement of their true feelings for me.  How can I 
	best convey this message to them? 
 
	I Am Not Kuno 
 
Not Kuno:  Recognize the truth.  Stop chasing women who can not 
appreciate your qualities and find one that will before you are killed.  
Love is not a matter of being impressed. 
 
You have to be direct with people like Kuno.  And even then they 
might not get the message.  We tried to show Kuno that his "pig-
tailed goddess" was actually Daddy by changing him into his cursed 
form right in front of his face.  No matter how often we did it, Kuno 
was just convinced that it was all some sort of magic trick. 
 
*************** 
 
The last two weeks with Keiko and Ayuki have been great, but I still 
can't wait to have a room of my own again.  Mums comes walking 
into the bathroom, excited because she is getting better at cooking 
under 'ba-chan's direction.  She finishes her ablutions quickly and 
heads downstairs to the kitchen. 
 
To tell the truth, she has gotten better.  I would figure another two 
weeks before she can cook something simple like curry so that it 
tastes good.  I don't understand why she doesn't make Daddy do all 
the cooking like my stepmother did.  I think its because she thinks 
she has to prove to Daddy that she can do it. 
 
I can hear Grandfather and Daddy fighting through the hallway on 
their way outside.  Keiko comes in, then Ayuki.  We finish getting 
ready and silently make our way to one of the side windows to jump 
at them. 
 
*************** 
 
Breakfast goes by as usual.  With Kasumi still on her honeymoon, 
'ba-chan has taken up the housekeeping duties, though that's going to 
change when we leave for our new home.  I think that everyone's just 
going to come by for meals at our new house, though. 
 
Daddy's face hits the floor when Mums steps on his foot to prevent 
him from leaving.  Probably the hardest thing for me to accept was 
that the people I knew as parents and aunties and uncles were now all 
the same age as me; that the same Mums that told me about boys and 
love was now going through the same problems I was going through. 
 
I finish up the last of my breakfast and head upstairs to get my school 
stuff.  Bleah.  Akane's cooking even makes water taste funny. 
 
*************** 
 
I'm behind Ayuki who's behind Daddy as we walk along one of the 
fence tops on the side of the road.  Mums clears her throat and makes 
a small motion; she wants Daddy to walk hand-in-hand with her.  
Daddy stops clears his throat, motioning to Mums that she should 
join us on the fence top. 
 
Ayuki jumps over Daddy's head and I follow her.  Daddy and Mums 
are looking at each other and clearing their throats. 
 
*************** 
 
Daddy and Mums catch up with us just before Dr. Tofu's clinic.  I 
don't know who won, but they're holding hands.  Mums told me that 
sometimes all they needed was to touch each other to make up after 
fighting.  Its so romantic watching them. 
 
Of course, Ayuki told us one of the 'amazon proverbs' was that 
"fighting makes for hotter sex".  Which I suppose is true, if you're 
into having that anger there.  Ayuki is kind of scary.  She knows 
almost nothing about relationships but is so matter-of-fact when it 
comes to talking about sex.  I guess it comes from being raised in the 
Amazon village. 
 
I wonder if we could have stopped Ayuki if she had tried to get 
Daddy and Shampoo together.  She knows so many techniques and is 
so much better than the rest of us.  I suppose 'ba-chan knew what she 
was doing when she spent that 'first night' talking with us.  I think 
that she was one of the reasons everything went so smoothly; she was 
so loving even though we were strangers to her.  Is that what 
grandmothers are for? 
 
*************** 
 
We reach the school and Ayuki defeats Kuno again.  I hope that my 
reply in the paper does some good.  You can only beat up a guy so 
many times before you start feeling sorry (and irritated) at him. 
 
I watch as Ayuki starts stomping on Kuno.  I can't help but think that 
someday they'll make a made-for-TV movie about him. 
 
*************** 
 
The bell rings and the teacher introduces Ryoga to the class as its 
new student.  I put a hand on Ayuki to keep her from jumping up to 
hug him.  I don't think she understands how it would affect the class.  
Most of the students just aren't ready to deal with any sort of open 
display of affection. 
 
I don't know what happened to him in my world.  I know Mums told 
me they dated a couple of times, but nothing came of it.  They lost 
track of him over the years, especially after they moved to Kobe. 
 
The class discussion is about world events.  I know that Keiko is 
convinced that the rioting is going to have some effect on the 
availability of food, but I think that there are government reserves of 
the essentials like rice and wheat.  The riots didn't last that long, and 
most of the world's cities didn't have them. 
 
I'm more worried about what's happening in China.  I don't want to 
go to war.  If history tells us anything, it tells us that a moving army 
is hard to stop at a nation's borders. 
 
*************** 
 
The mid-morning bell rings and I find myself surrounded.  Everyone 
wants to know about Daddy and Mums, which I guess isn't 
surprising, considering they've been engaged for almost a year.  I find 
myself thinking more about my real mother, Uk-chan.  She's 
supposed to go on her first date tonight. 
 
*************** 
 
During the lunch break I head over to the school newspaper office to 
turn in my column.  They can choose which letters get answered.  I 
look into the packed folder that they give me. 
 
The folder is full of letters!  My first column hasn't even run yet and 
already my mailbox is packed!  By the time I do a quick read-thru (to 
get rid of the junk - about 3/4 of it) its time to get back to class.  I 
knew it was a mistake to do this. 
 
The editor even asks me to cover Nabiki's debate this afternoon.  I 
grab the wastebasket that I threw the junk letters into and dump it on 
his head. 
 
*************** 
 
After our English class I go to Band to finish up the school day.  I 
like playing the clarinet.  Its something that doesn't have anything to 
do with my other classes or martial arts.  Keiko and Ayuki think I'm 
a little weird for being into music (they'd rather listen to it on CD). 
 
The band director wants me to play the solo in one of the pieces that 
we're doing for the semester.  I hope Daddy comes to hear me play. 
 
*************** 
 
Uk-chan and I head out to Uc-chan's after school.  She's now paying 
me for helping her out, but I'd do it for free.  I see Keiko walking fast 
to her appointment, and Ayuki and Ryoga walking arm-in-arm to 
their new jobs.  Uk-chan looks wistfully at them as they walk by. 
 
Midori:  "Are you nervous?" 
Ukyou:  "A little." 
 
Being a workday, there aren't a lot of customers like Saturday or 
Sunday, and I get in a little target practice with the spatula shuriken 
during the slow times.  Uk-chan closes the shop a little early and we 
clean up the front. 
 
We soak for awhile in the furo, washing the smell of okonomiyaki 
from our bodies.  I put on my change of clothes and help Uk-chan 
into her dress, assuring her that everything was fine.  I wait with her 
outside the shop. 
 
Midori:  "I wonder where Daddy is." 
Ukyou:  [blushing]  "Oh.  I... I asked him not to come." 
 
*************** 
 
I pass by Dr. Tofu's clinic on the way home and notice that the lights 
are on.  I peek inside the door and see Kasumi cleaning the foyer.  I 
rush in and give her a hug. 
 
Midori:  "Hi, Auntie Kasumi!" 
Kasumi:  "Hi, Midori." 
 
I take a step back to look at Kasumi's now tan body.  Wow. 
 
Midori:  "So how was your honeymoon?" 
Kasumi:  "It went just fine." 
Midori:  "Are you pregnant yet?" 
Kasumi:  [giggling]  "Of course not... I'm not ready to be a mother." 
Dr. Tofu:  "She has to go to medical school first." 
 
Uncle Tofu walks into the room and takes Kasumi's hand in his own. 
 
Kasumi:  "No, I don't.  I'm not going to wait that long." 
Dr. Tofu:  "I never said anything about waiting." 
 
Those two are just like I remember them.  I wonder if they'll also 
have three girls like my Auntie Kasumi. 
 
Kasumi:  "Oh, I brought back gifts for everyone." 
Midori:  "What?  What did you bring?" 
Kasumi:  "That would spoil the surprise.  Just make sure that you're 
	all there before you open it." 
Midori:  "OK." 
 
I give Kasumi a last hug and head off for the dojo. 
 
*************** 
 
Ayuki arrives from her job at the Cat Cafe and we open the small box 
that Kasumi left for everyone.  Its filled with bundles of swimsuits!  
Its the kind that's supposed to let you tan all over because the colors 
fool the eye into thinking that there's a solid layer of material there.  I 
get my bundle and look through it. 
 
Ayuki throws me another bundle for Uk-chan.  Mums throws Daddy 
a bundle for him.  He reads a small note tied to the bundle and starts 
to blush.  Ayuki manages to grab the bundle before Daddy can hide 
it, then she starts to blush.  The bundle drops to the floor and I finally 
get a look at it. 
 
	Ranma -  
 
	Here are some swimsuits for you.  Half of them are men's 
	swimsuits so that you can give Akane a private showing 
	tonight.  Since every time we go to the beach you see us in 
	swimsuits, shouldn't Akane get the same opportunity with 
	you? 
 
	Kasumi 
 
I start blushing.  So does everyone else. 
 
Midori:  "I didn't know Kasumi had it in her." 
Nodoka:  "I think a private showing is a good idea.  Come on, 
	Genma." 
 
'Ba-chan takes Grandpa's hand and her bundle of swimsuits and 
drags him upstairs to their room.  Mr. Tendo is unconcious on the 
floor, unable to deal with his daughter's wickedness.    Mums shyly 
smiles at Daddy and takes his hand in her own.  We go up to our 
rooms with our own little bundles.  Everyone soon joins us (except 
Daddy) in our room as we try them on. 
 
*************** 
 
I put Uk-chan's bundle in my bag and look over some of the letters 
for next week's newspaper column. 
 
	Dear Midori, 
 
	What do you do when you're boyfriend's a pig?  Oink oink.  
	Bwee! 
 
I look at Ayuki, who's snoring on her futon, and shove the paper onto 
her face.  She's not fooling me into believing that she's really asleep. 
 
****************************finis Day In The Life