Subject: Fwd: 24th Century Rednecks
From: Damon Jason Casale
Date: 4/21/1996, 11:34 PM
To: mcasale@earthlink.net, fanfic@fanfic.com

Thought this might be of interest.  8)

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Date: Fri,  5 Apr 1996 08:41:54 -0500 (EST)
From: Archie Lee Moberly <arch+@andrew.cmu.edu>
To: Bulletin Board Administration <bb+assocs.kgb@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Fwd: 24th Century Rednecks

People here might enjoy this (or not).

-Arch
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Subject: Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
Author:  Alan Titelbaum at PORTIApost
Date:    3/28/96 11:28 AM

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
     
     - your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
     
     - he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
     
     - you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
     
     - he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
     
     - he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
     
     - he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and
aluminum foil
     
     - he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
     
     - he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies"
     
     - he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
     
     - he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
     
     - he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
     
     - he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
     
     - he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
     
     - he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
     
     - he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
     
     - he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
     
     - he paints the starship John Deere green
     
     - he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
     
     - he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
     
     - his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
     
     - he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
     
     - his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
     
     - he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
     
     - his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of
beans and weenies
     
     - he sets phaser to "Cajun"

Damon Casale, scyth@andrew.cmu.edu

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