Matthew Trotter wrote:

Nice poem...post more...caveman not speak complete sentance...unga...here
me poem....bash club on ground if like...

*giggle* O.K. No word-ectomy, but maybe a little restructuring?

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(suggestions)

Burning

  Goddess She falls
  from the sun

In a rain of death
She kills

  Everyone

She loves
         Hates
       The gates

        of her mind

      Slam closed

        to Keep out
       those thoughts

       That oppose

            her

Self-destruction

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(origional)

Burning goddess
She falls from the sun
In a rain of death
She kills everyone
She loves
         Hates
     The gates of her mind
Are slamming closed to
    Keep out those thoughts
        That oppose her

Self-destruction

Just some suggestions. ^_^

Shannon
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(This space occupied by Samuri Surgeons and Choo-choo Sushi)