Date: Tue, 05 Mar 1996 01:50:14
To: Kunoichi
From: Christopher Wilmore <4cw6@qlink.queensu.ca>
Subject: C&C on the 1st half of the TMWB beta
Not too much to criticize... The only parts that may need
correction, I'm not qualified to comment on... ^_^ In any case, I love your
characterization. The personalities spring into three dimensions from the
manga/anime's two (two and a half, tops). The lemon scenes were nicely
handled. Like Heinlein, you managed to incorporate them into the story as
part of the story, so that I wouldn't be able to tell, had I not read the
alpha, that they were later additions... Again, like RAH, you manage to be
thorough, yet never vulgar. ie, You have a good sense of balance. The
Akari/Konatsu scenes were deftly handled (and they make a lot more sense now
that I've seen a copy of vol 36 of the manga!). Nothing really to change,
unless there's something YOU'RE unhappy with... Mainly, I'm writing to let
you know that not *everyone* ignores your stories, as you complained
earlier... Good job! [Can't wait to see what you'll come up with for the
megafic... ^_^]
-Christopher Willmore
Now, to get some sleep before I start on Calc...
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