At 10:23 PM 28/2/96 -0800, Salomon wrote:
On Thu, 29 Feb 1996, Andy Skuse wrote:
Okay, well written, but some real continuity failures, starting
around the time Priss gets on the bike.
This sequence makes no sense. Priss seems to hop in and out of her
HS, and Mackie casually reveals to anybody whos watching or
listening, who one of the KS is. AND unless the back of the van is
soundproof, Blackie can hear everything as well.
One answer for ya Andrew. Read the first 8 chaps og BG Cross and it will
make a lot more sense. The story takes place in the year 2038 an A LOT >>of things have changed <GGG>
I've read all the chapters of BG Cross... we know that Leon knows about
them, but we assume that the Knight Sabers don't wany anyone else >knowing who they are. Some of those are legitimate problems, anyone >watching will wonder how/why Leon is such good buddies with the Knight >Sabers. And Blackie isn't supposed to know who they are until Priss yells
at him in Raven's Garage, right?
I addressed Andrew's comments in another post, but as far as Leon being buddies with the KS- he doesn't reveal his relationship with the KS to anyone at any time in public. He was careful not to let anyone see him when he climbed in and out of the KS' van in chapter 8, and he was alone at the ambulance accident scene when Priss stops to talk to him. The problem with the ambulance accident scene may be an assumption that there are cars driving by as Priss talks to Leon and Mackie yells at Leon. Perhaps I could've described the military base driveway as isolated. But I also didn't mention any cars rushing past the scene either :) If you rememebr there was a bit of a traffic jam back at the base. As to Blackie knowing who the KS are- he never did until the end of part 9. He had some clues that Sylia was connected
to them, but nothing solid, That's why he jumped into the battle, with the eventual hope that he would find out. The detective work that Blackie has done has already been alluded to at the end of part 9 when he thinks about the newspaper article he dug up that shows a picture of Sylia Stingray. Since it is a mystery story, the rest will be explained in the next chapter ;)
Recap:
Priss: Stopped at accident, talking to Leon. (still in hardsuit?)
Sylia: In van, pulls up at accident. (still in hardsuit?)
Mackie: Calls Sylia 'Sis' while handing finger to Leon. (not hidden
from view)
But the fight sequences are turning too much to martial arts battles (not
the KS, how Blackie was fighting). I'm seeing this in other fanfics
as well. The KS use strategy to maneuver a Boomer in line with their main
weapons. Punching and kicking is going to damage both your suit and the
boomers... and the boomers are supposed to be heavily armoured unlike our
hardsuited friends. If they are going to punch/kick it's to keep the
boomer off balance (unless they're firing knuckle/ankle bombers, or
explosives inserters).
It was my attention to have the "cyborg/boomers" force the KS to battle in
a way that was not second nature to them. The cyborgs were very fast and agile, making the KS range weapons useless to a great degree. So, the KS had to fight close in. Blackie is a natural toe-to-toe fighter (Aha!) and was a little
more effective against them (as was Linna), but in the end, Linna forgot to
use her monomolecular ribbons <author was asleep> and they didn't
fight so well close in (which is wrong as evidenced by the opening of BGC 8
when Priss punches her boomer opponent, the middle of BGC 8 where Sylia flips the boomer to be flipped herself, and the end of BGC 3 where the KS battle Mason and friends). So I slipped up. But that is why I am revising
BG Cross as we speak and second on the list of revisions is that fight scene (first was the addition to the prologue posted last week).
BTW, BGCross is turning out to be a great fanfic, and continuation of the
BGC universe. Keep up the good work!
Salomon Farin sfarin@netcom.com
Thanks Salomon!
Thanks for the comments and keep reading- lots more surprises to come ;)
Cya
Andy
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"Bubblegum Cross" & "The Dark Traveler"
askuse@execulink.com
Co-Maintainer of the Fanfic ML FAQ
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